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Ms Karen McGee is an HIV/AIDS Case Manager, a Social Worker and an Activist. She resides in Jacksonville, Florida. And has been an active member of the North Florida Leather Community for over 14 years. Ms. McGee is the current president of "Code 12 Jax". Her list of credits for work in the field of HIV/AIDS is extensiveas well as being a founding member of six HIV/AIDS related health service groups. Ms McGee won the title of Ms World Leather in August of 2002.
What/who is/are some of your social and political influences?
My biggest influence would have to be a gentleman by the name of Patrick. A gentleman that I met at club Brothers who would sneak me inside. We became friends (this is when AIDS {Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome} became GRID - Gay Related Immuno Deficiency) and he became sicker and sicker. He tried a bunch of medicine but he became sicker and sicker.
How was he treated?
He died on a steel gurney, with {the} doctors fully covered-- they were afraid to touch him. He died having no human contact and at that point, that's when I made a decision to do something and educated myself. He was the first person that I ever met with the virus and that was way back in the early 1980s. I watched helplessly as Patrick lost faith in his doctors and him self and I also experienced my own helpless feelings in having to stand by and watch him die.
Another who influenced my life is Mother Theresa of Calcutta--
In the HIV/Homeless community are the people I care for, those who are
living on the streets in shelters, and those who are in danger of losing
their homes due to HIV/AIDS. In each of them I see a little Patrick...a
little Daddy Mack...a little David Simmons...a little of the many friends
I have lost to this disease and I remember the words of Mother Theresa:
"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing.
It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving."
How did some of these influences inspire you to choose your current platform? (Please provide statistical data
Every minute, 11 people worldwide are infected with the HIV Virus.
Every 3 minutes, a PLWA (Person Living With AIDS) looses their job.
Every 7 minutes, a PLWA has to make the decision to pay rent, or
purchase medications.
Every 10 Minutes, a PLWA is faced with living on the streets.
One in four homeless people have the HIV infection. If you look at Jacksonville Florida, for example, with it's population of around one million. There are probably five or six thousand homeless people within that one million. I see approximately 180 of them per day, and many just driving to work. Most employed Americans with AIDS or HIV must spend three quarters of their pay to fight this disease, and they are one paycheck away from being homeless. There is a large urge to survive, and the youth, with their more prevalent sexual activity have a one in three chance of contracting HIV if they are with a partner who has the disease.
Lets look at the HIV community; the minimal entitlement for assistance is about 436 dollars a month and if you look at someone who is working at a minimum wage job, you will find that they make much more money than PLWAs. This assistance doesn't cover rent and utilities. In addition to that, if a PLWA looses their job, they will have to wait to get unemployment and wait 2 years to qualify for medication. By that time they will have to requalify for meds received, experience all of the side affects of the meds and get re-acclimated to them.
What makes AIDS a unique disease is the fact that it infects people at the peak of their productive years, at a time when they would not normally require medical care: the incubation period is long and the condition can be fatal. AIDS knows no social boundaries, it thrives in all environments.
There is strong evidence today that HIV/AIDS is contributing to poverty. Poor families tend to bear the greatest burden from HIV. Surveys have shown that AIDS-affected households experience dramatic declines in income of up to two-thirds. At the same time, their spending on medical care for sick family members can increase exponentially. This causes them to reduce their outlays on food, leading to malnutrition.
This is real poverty; it is a living nightmare that doesn't discriminate. It is invisibility in the face of resource, exclusion to the point of non-existence. It is powerlessness to effect the smallest change, and yet to receive blame for society's ills.
Can you tell me about a person who was successful and lost everything because of AIDS?
There was a young woman, Cecilia, she had a position at a downtown bank a beautiful home and had it all. She bought a new wardrobe every week. She came to me because she had met someone new and she wanted to be tested and she turned up positive. She started on the meds and it laid her out with horrendous diarrhea, massive weight loss, being forgetful, and a chemical imbalance, which caused her to be verbally aggressive. Because of that, and not wanting to tell her boss, she hid it, because he might find a way to fire her and eventually she lost her job. She couldn't pay her bills, she loss most of her friends because of her disposition. When I found her again, she had lost over 100 pounds and was living next to a bridge under a railway park. She recognized me but I didn't recognize her. Her pride was taken away and her whole being was more different than I'd ever seen.
What did you to help her and did she tell her family? We got her disability, a doctor, and the meds and got her mental health counseling. After about 6 months, we decided that it was time to call her mom. After about four months and a lot of tears we decided that she needed to go home with her mother, so we packed up what she had and got her home. A few weeks later we got a letter saying she was doing fine and it was only eight or nine months later we received a letter saying she had passed away.
What about the prejudice that PLWAs have to live with?
We are still fighting the shame and the fear of it, if you say you're HIV positive, you are automatically labeled as a prostitute, a drug user, or gay. You had no other choice about what happened to you, but the real cause is that you loved someone and were unprotected from the disease.
Is that due to lack of education in the heterosexual communities?
They don't understand that this is not a gay disease? During National Day of Testing in Duvall County, Florida, I had quite a few heterosexuals come to be tested and they thought "it was free why not?" We counseled them and they would say they are not at risk. We ask, "how do you know that you don't have it" and they respond "I'm not gay I haven't been with a man or I don't do drugs or gave it up years ago"...normally when they leave my office they are pretty aware of the risks involved to anybody.
Do you think that AIDS education is improving in the "het" community?
Yes, in the African-American community, especially. Let's take Magic Johnson, who in a press conference let everyone know that he was HIV positive. Because of acts such as that, HIV education in the African- American communities has improved. In the Caucasian communities, not so much, however---they are still thinking that they are going to get diseases such as cancer long before AIDS will get them.
How has your previous work prepared you for the work as Ms. World Leather?
This is a good question. My work has taught me to not only listen, but to hear. To stand up and say "NO" when I see an injustice. It has taught me to reach out, to accept and give assistance where I can, hopefully with grace. And, It has taught me that an act of civil disobedience is only fun until the cops arrive.
Could you please elaborate on "A Day of Leather Caring Worldwide"?
What is your rationale and what is your expected outcome?
Too many of us live our lives passively, going day-to-day, without stopping to figure out what we can do in our own communities to help out. I am talking about living and giving with passion. We are a passionate community, just look around its evident in the way we carry ourselves, in our speech and in our deeds. Its time to take that passion into the streets, giving to those who have a need greater than ours and show the rest of the world the heart that lies within each and every one of us
I do this for the young girl devastated to learn that she is living with HIV, for the mother who suffers the loss of her only son and the father who cannot cope, for the partner facing the prospect of releasing the hand of a loved one for the last time, for the case worker who weeps at the end of the day as the faces of suffering flood their thoughts, and for the world that still faces AIDS with contempt.
I'm asking for a single act of passion with one day of your time, one ounce of your sweat, your courage to gather and motivate your community, and all of your imagination.
How did you come up with A Day of Leather Caring Worldwide"?
Jill Carter called and asked what do you think of doing an event and we talked about it and it took off from there.
When was it conceived?
November 9th, we wrote the 1st draft of the press release and then we released it on the 24th. And all they have to do is take a day out and start giving: e.g. blood, clothes, all it takes is just one small act and it doesn't even cost money. There will be a website in the future where all you have to do is send me what you are contributing and we are going to post it on the web site. What what's been done, etc. It goes a long way, and the only reward we're are going get are those warm fuzzies..
Have people been receptive to it so far?
Since the "The Leather Day of Caring" Press release, on November 26, 2002,
I have received 53 e-mail requests for additional information, 20 requests
for permission to post it on Web sites, 18 firm commitments from clubs/
organizations, and 9 firm commitments from individuals.
This is just State side! I have several pending commitments from groups
in Australia, and New Zealand. It hasn't been a week and I've already been
besieged with questions about what can we do. I have been contact and people
have been in contact with me from all over and it has been amazing response
so far. Anyone else who is interested can write me here:
Karen@msworldleather.com
How has your title year been so far? Have people been receptive to you as Ms. World?
WOW!! My title year has been an amazing journey, I have never felt so much warmth, and everyone has been open and loving. And the hospitality!! It surprises me that people actually know who I am.
One funny thing though, and I'm starting to think this is planned, I seem to ALWAYS stand next to the tallest person in the room when pictures are being taken (I'm 4'6") coincidence?? I think NOT!
Do you find that more people are aware of the title and understand its purpose?
Oh my YES! I feel that our community understands and embrace MsWL as a community service title which is amazing. I have Annie (Ms World Leather of 2001) to thank for that, she set the pace, she was out, visible and dynamic, a real classy lady.
I have been approached by at least 30 women who are interested in the contest, but what surprises me, is that they think they need more experience before they make the commitment to compete. My words to them "HUN you already have it, look at what you have accomplished, look at what you are doing in your community" (Yes I'm talking to YOU! You know who you are.)
Prospective contestants are sometime intimidated by the contest requirements. Do you have any words of wisdom for people who are possibly considering running for this title?
Yes! Be nice to the press, they are your friends, don't argue with them, and have your facts straight.
Talk to everyone, be yourself, don't take yourself too seriously, let them see the real you. Read Jill Carters book, And smile, smile, smile.
What legacy would you like to be remembered for as Ms. World Leather 2002?
Legacy?? I would like to be remembered as someone who made a difference in just one person's life; who reached one person and opened their eyes and their heart. I would like to be remembered as saving just one person from life on the street. I would like to be remembered as warm, approachable, with an easy smile (and the one who survived the year with the fewest bumps and bruises).
Do you have any memorable events as Ms. World Leather that you'd like to share?
St Petersburg, Florida at (International Leather Sir and boy) ILS/b it became a game to throw me in a pool so it was a big thing to do this and I told them I couldn't swim. By the time the contest happened I had nothing dry-- everything was wet, even my shoes. And here I am schlepping in my red plaid flannel pjs looking very dykish and I had to beg the hotel to let me use their dryer. They consented and after I finished drying everything, I went to take my clothes to my room and I'm there with my dry clothes and some smarty-pants decided to throw me in the pool again, WITH my clothing! I went to ask hotel management again and the staff found this funny but they let me dry my clothes again. Finally I had to sneak in the back to my room so I could put up my clothes safely.
They also always place me next to the tallest people. In Toronto, they placed me next a drag queen who was wearing 10 heels and is 6'2'' flat footed and she had on this wig with these 2 towering cones on teach side. This made her about 8 feet tall...it was like the Jolly Green Giant next to Sprout.
In Dallas, at "Beyond Vanilla", I was approached by a young man who told me that a few of his Leather family heard me speak at Ms. World. Since then his rent had been paid anonymously for 3 months, long enough, hopefully for him to receive his Social Security benefits. It saved his home.
In Toronto, again I was approached by a Leather Man, he was concerned over a friend, who is facing eviction due to the inability to work, he will be opening his home at no cost, to save his friend from the streets.
In Tampa, Houston, Atlanta, Orlando in each community I have visited, I have heard similar stories, similar acts of love and passion. People are learning, and growing, and loving. Don't forget to write me at Karen@msworldleather.com if you would like to help too. I look forward to hearing from anyone who wants to help in this noble cause.
We'll find out more about Richie very soon, so stay tuned!!!
Viola Johnson, Oklahoma's Leather Mom, once said that "Oklahoma was just
a place that people stopped on their layover flights, then people later
began to stop and look around, and now people are taking notice!!!"
With that being said, Oklahoma has received 12 nominations for the
Pantheon Community Choice Awards. For those of you who are new to what
the "Davey" is; it is an award recognizing people in the national community
for their outstanding work in the local and or the global leather communities.
Nominees from Oklahoma are:
Man of the Year: Randal Kinnear
Small Club of the Year: LiNK-Oklahoma and NLA-OKC
Small Event of the Year: Tribal Fire
South Central Regional Award: Michael Harned, Randal Kinnear, T.J.
McKinsey, Miss Julia, and Randy Wheeler
Community Choice Awards Man: Michael Harned
Community Choice Awards Woman: Melissa Brown and TJ McKinsey
The winners will be announced on Saturday, February 15th in Chicago, Illinois. For more information please go to the Leather Journal Website http://www.theleatherjournal.com/pantheon.htm.
Come see them and wish them well as they step aside. For more information you can contact Randal Kinnear at Wkinnear@swbell.net, David at OML2000@aol.com or boy kevin at nakedleatherboy@nakedleatherguy.net.
If you would like to find out more about the San Diego boys of Leather, please visit our website at www.sdboysofleather.org or email me at josboyakio@yahho.com. Happy Holidays from the boys!
In brotherhood, boy Akio President, San Diego boys of Leather
Proud boy of Jo Romano-Blas www.sdboysofleather.org
-30 -
This past weekend I had the chance to experience something quite new and completely different. I had a chance to attend the Ms World Leather Contest that was held in Dallas Aug 9 - 11. This event was a very awesome experience for me. I walked away from this event with feelings that were indescribable. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride for being a leather woman. There are times when things just can't be explained - they have to be felt.
The weekend started much like other leather contests, but I assure you that was the only part like the others. I arrived on Friday night, but I made it to the Dallas Eagle just as the Meet and Greet was ending. I said hi to those I knew and then headed off to the Hotel to get some rest for the next day.
Saturday started off with registering and getting my package. I then went to check out all of the vendors before interviews started. There were two rooms with vendors. I then checked out the silent auction that was being held during the course of the weekend. There were many nice things on the auction table it was hard to choose what to bid on.
At 10am sharp the interview portion of the contest began and unlike other contests, the interviews were open. The judges were Annie Romano-Blas (Ms World Leather 2001), Cain Berlinger (producer of Mr. Ebony Leather), Lady MJ (co-hostess of Malicious Masquerade and My Vicious Valentine), Sir Adam (co-host and vice president of "Dominion" series of events), Goddess Lakshimi (President and Founder of the "Global Learning Academy of Knowledge and Servitude"), Master Scott Parker (International Master of 2002), slavette (slave to Master Scott Parker and together they hold the International Master and slave of 2002), and Head Judge Viola Johnson (lifestyle slave, Leather activist, Author, Educator, Leather historian, and Vampire), judges attendant was paksen (International Bootblack 2001).
One by one, the contestants were brought out to present their posters and their platforms before being interviewed by the judges. The contestants were Miss Karen McGee (platform: HIV/AIDS in the Homeless Community. Geri Farley (platform: Being a Role Model in the task of helping to unite small communities of leather people and diminishing intolerance of one another), Slave O (platform: Multiple Sclerosis), and Mistress Sly (platform: Women and HIV).
I cannot say enough about these wonderful women. Sitting in on their interviews and hearing them talk so passionately about their causes brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. I had my life changed this weekend by watching these women. I ask all that read this to seek out these women and hear what they have to say if you get the chance. They did wonderful presentations and went through a really grueling weekend that I had never seen the likes of before. I admire these women for making me so proud of being a woman this weekend.
After the interviews I was able to attend slave O's party that was wonderfully done in pink. Then it came time to go to Annie Romano - Blas' party. It was wonderfully done with a crowd of people attending. It was also very nice to see virtually every international title-holder in attendance as well.
After the relaxation of the parties and getting food it was time for one of the most intense parts of the weekend. It was time for the contests to "meet the press" in an event called "Crossfire." For those who have never attended Ms World Leather this portion is very unique to this contest. The contestants are put on stage to be questioned by the press in a fast 5 min question and answer portion of the contest. I wanted to cry for these women during this portion, which was open to the public as well. The room was packed with attendee's for this portion. One by one the contestants came out and took their turn in front of the stage and endured questions that would have thrown most people. Everyone in the room left that room holding even more respect for these women then they had before. I cannot express to you what this portion was exactly like but I can honestly say I heard many people say they wouldn't be able to go through it themselves.
The night ended with a basket auction (as each contestant was asked to put together a basket for the contest to be auctioned off). Once this was done it was time to relax and have some fun. The basket auction raised just over $4000, with Alan "SPO" Schwartz and Jan Lyon donated $85 for the further continuance of the Ms World Leather Contest. In addition to making a donation, they also bought baskets themselves. A dance was held in the Hotel and many left there to go play in one of the Dungeons (Sanctuary or Inquisition) or to cruise at the Dallas Eagle.
When Sunday morning dawned it was time to go to brunch provided by the Ms World Contest. Several hours were spent visiting old friends and making new friends before the contest began at 1pm sharp. I must add that with Ms World everything began promptly on time. The MC for the contest was none other than the wonderful Queen Cougar, who did a fabulous job as she always does. This portion of the contest consisted of the judge of the contestants in onstage speech, on stage question and leather image. The contestants did a wonderful job in all portions of this contest.
It finally came time for another one of the big highlights of the weekend. Annie Romano-Blas took the stage for her step down speech. During this speech she started out giving a breakdown of the money she spent, the events she attended and how much money she had raised for Lupus. She raised in excess of $12,000, which exceeded her projected amount significantly. I can't say how this affected my thinking only that I got to actually see what a woman can do if she speaks up and makes herself heard. It was amazing. This was the part of the weekend that made me see how strong and powerful women really are. After Annie's report, Jo Romano-Blas and Tom Dickerson had one more surprise. They surprised the crowed and Annie with several commendations and awards given by the City of San Diego and the State of California. The local legislature in San Diego also proclaimed August 11, 2002 as Annie Romano-Blas Day! Entertainment was then provided by Jeanie Tracy (formerly of the Weather Girls) who had everyone up and dancing while the tallying of the scores were done by Tim Wong.
Then came the moment we had all been waiting for. The contestants were brought back to the stage. The envelopes were handed to Queen Cougar and Annie Romano-Blas got ready to remover her shawl. The first runner up was announced and went to slave O. Then came the announcement of the new Ms World Leather Title went to Miss Karen McGee. The weekend for me had ended. The winner had been announced. I walked out of the door preparing to return home but I was returning home a different person. My life has been forever changed by this contest unlike it ever was by any other contest. I will never again doubt the power of a woman and the mountains that can be moved if one just tries. We are not all destined to make our stand in the same way but I know have proof we can all make a stand and make a difference. I witnessed many life-altering things this weekend but the most important lesson I did learn is we all have a voice and if we open our mouths people will listen but if we never speak no one has a chance to hear what we want to say. I hope every woman in the leather community will get the change to attend Ms World Leather, for I promise if you do you will not leave there the same person.
![]() Karen McGee MsWL 2002 |
![]() The Class of 2002 | ![]() Cain and Marilyn Zerquera Ms Sunshine State 2001 |
![]() Chris Zimmerman, Vi Johnson Daddy Mikey, Welcome Home gets a check |
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Bio:
I have been "out", openly gay, for the past 10 years. I first realized who I was when I met my
husband, Robert English, 10 years ago. Since then he has shown me the ways of a relationship, and the
trials and tribulations of life. I started out in the "Drag world", because that was the people that I started
hanging around. About 4 years ago, I met an awesome person name Leonard Williams. He introduced
me to the leather lifestyle and was able to open my eyes to who and what they are in the community.
Thanks Daddy Leonard (Reba Lynn) for opening my eyes!!!! Once I was introduced it didn't take long
to get to know people in the community. I found that they are friendly and like to get to know new people.
I then realized that this is a lifestyle that I would like to try out. Of course when I started, I was a shy and
very introverted person, and have been all my life. In this short 4 years I have opened up and seen that I
can be someone and people will hear and listen to my voice. Running for 3 contests was not the easiest
thing to do, but someone once told me that the 3rd one is a charm...thanks Rick Poston! It was definitely
my lucky number as well.
1. You competed in OML2001 and OML2002, describe both experiences.
The first experience that I had in '01 was nerve racking!! I had already ran for one contest, Mr. Tulsa Leather, but thought it would be good to do it again! Oh, how I was so not ready for either. In '02, I decided that I would run when a friend of mine told me that I just had to. They completely believed that I should hold the title, so I indulged them in their wishes. Believe me when I say, I am so glad that I did. The experience for '02 was relaxed, because I thought I had nothing to lose, I was able to just get up on the stage and do it. I also had a little more time to learn more about Leather and the lifestyle! That is a big plus!
2. In your opinion, what do you think made the difference in you winning the contest?
Being myself, a.k.a "real", and being relaxed about what was going on around me. I also had a chance to really get to know people in the community and learn more about what the Leather lifestyle really is about. It really makes a difference if you get out and do something for your community and have a platform to stand for when doing a contest. It shows that you want to do something other than just hold the title. It means more to me that I can hold the title and make a difference to the rest of the community with it. As I stated in my interview, "I have a voice, but with the title I get a microphone to go with it."
3. What is your platform and what have you done to carry it out?
My platform was TOHR, Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights. I feel that they had a stigma about them and the organization needed to be better known in the community. I had heard so little about them that I figured someone needs to be a voice in the leather community. Funny thing is, I found that the leather community supported them, but I hadn't heard much said about it. Just that we give/raise money when we can. I feel that getting the word out sometimes helps more. Although, I have really widened my scope of things now. I want everyone to know more about the HIV/AIDS issues also. It is becoming a larger problem in the gay community again, because people are not playing as safe as they should be. I think it has become thought that we are not the ones getting it anymore, so people are letting down their guard and not being careful in what they do. Please always remember SSC, Safe-Sane-Consensual!!!
4. Let's talk about your IML2002, describe some of your most memorable experiences.
Probably the most memorable experience is just being around the best of the best in the Leather
community. Meeting new brothers and creating new alliances within the community. You really cannot
believe the feeling you get when you are in a room full of HOT leathermen, and they are all there to support
one another. I have never seen such camaraderie in one place for a contest. 66 men looking at each
other and saying that they will support you as IML 2002! It is a journey that I would not trade for anything.
I only hope that I will be able to go back and do it again sometime...maybe just as a spectator!!! Who knows?
5. Now that your title year is drawing to a close, what type of legacy would
you like to leave as OML2002?
I would like to say that I was one that went out into the community of the whole and was able to open
eyes of what the Leather community is about. I know that we preach unity, but until we all practice it,
then it will never become a possibility. I feel that I have worked as hard with that as getting word out that
we need to support the whole community and not just specific sectors of it. Everyone should be able to
approach one another and ask questions, but sometimes you need to make yourself available to them to
do so. We so often just go out to the places that we only want to go. If you do not branch out, then you
will never reach those not given the opportunity in their own environment.
6. What advice would you give to your successor?
To be honest with yourself and those around you. Make sure that you are visible to not only the leather
community, but to all others. Always put on a smile, because more people will come to talk with you
and ask questions if you have a friendly face. Make sure that you keep you mind open to the fact that
you are not just representing yourself, or your sponsors, but the state of Oklahoma. Remembering that
there are eyes and ears everywhere and that you must realize that to it's fullest! Also, all in all, have a fun
time and don't stress out.
7. Is there life for Jason after Oklahoma Mr. Leather? If so what does it have
in-store for him?
Believe me, there will be life after for Jason!!! I plan on keeping up with those that have created
bonds with me. I also plan on still educating people about the leather community and the Leather
lifestyle. I want people to know that we are not a bunch of mean men that cause terrible pain, but
that we are a caring community that will do what we can for others! I will continue to work on my
flogging abilities, and hopefully someday I will earn the right to be known as "Daddy Jason". OH...
and I will never forget that I am and always will be an OML even after I no longer carry the sash!
8. The political climate in Oklahoma has been quite interesting with, the CWFA how do you
think that will affect events in Oklahoma in the future as well as events, around this nation?
I will just have to say, that the CWFA and others will always be out there to change the world to
their own beliefs. They will stand up for what they believe in and we should do the same thing.
They have the right to their own opinion and the constitution gives them the right to voice that opinion,
but we must realize that we have the same right. Just make sure that you know what you are talking
about before you "open thy mouth". Things are so often taken out of context that one word can be
used against you. We all have the right to be on this earth, and there is only one that makes the final
decision on your destiny. Love all and you will be loved by most, but remember that you will never
make every person happy
Press Release
Speakers from far and wide have signed up to come to this year's Ohio Leather Fest. Boymeat and
Lolita Wolf from NYC, Deborah Addington, Janet Hardy, Jay Wiseman, Fetish Diva Midori and
Dossie Easton from Northern California, Femcar and Phantom from Chicago, Sir Grizly, ariana and
Goddess Lakshimi from Detroit, John Warren and many more!
There will be a dungeon party both Friday and Saturday nights, a celebrity auction Saturday, and classes
and vending all day Saturday and Sunday. It will be a great time for all! Please come and join us for the
largest BDSM event in the Midwest, and our biggest event yet!
Any questions, please contact us at info@ohioleatherfest.com
LiNK Oklahoma Hosts Jack Rinella
I congratulate melissa and LiNK Oklahoma for bringing Jack Rinella to OKC and presenting some great
seminars. I had the privilege to attend his discussion both days and it was enlightening to hear a person
of such experience and insight in this lifestyle. He is one of the few people who are on a mission to
demystify what many of us feel inside and are compelled to live it to whatever extent we can.
His talk on "View from the top" and a follow up discussion about "view from the bottom" was based
upon on his own life, and his search and experiences. It was very interesting in more ways than one.
His theory about different aspect of BDSM lifestyle ranging, as he put it "from God to dog" and labeled
as "continuum" like color of rainbow was intriguing to me. It was an interesting thought that he classified
them as a linear phenomenon.
The discussion on Sunday (how appropriate) about S/M and Spirituality was very enjoyable. I am positive
that we all felt a closer connection within ourselves between our own truths and us than the people across
the meeting place. Recounts of Jack's journey from a Catholic background into Pentecostal experiences
and speaking in tongues which, in his opinion, freed him from the bounds of organized religion and let his
spirit experience the energies of BDSM lifestyle was interesting to say the least. Mera's Jewish point of
view that by not believing in the devil, we enjoy life and its different manifestations more fully by freeing
ourselves from guilt was quite a bit in line with one interpretation of Islamic philosophy that we must seek
our "balances" within us. The connection of spirituality and BDSM is as varied as human beings.
Mr. Rinella emphasizes that we are all humans first and everything else follows from that point, shatters
lots of myths in our lifestyle. His observation that no two relationships are equal or similar was simple,
yet powerful. It translates into very straightforward truth that nobody has the right or authority to dictate
anybody else's way of living and experiencing BDSM.
Jack's view on the "values" of BDSM needs to be presented more often. He listed honesty, integrity,
honor, and respect, safe, sane and consensual among them and reminded us that it is our duty to pass
these values to our peers and followers.
The history of BDSM was another great topic, which he covered with obvious enthusiasm. His point
was simple: history teaches us where we going based upon where have we come from. The "concerned
women of America" of the past have made our lifestyle more accepting, in relative terms, than it would
had been possible otherwise. With every existing oppression, BDSM came "out" and became more
open. And that few things which we consider "new" are only thirty to several hundred years old, and "etc"
covered a lot in those old advertisements.
My thanks to the hostess of the meeting place, she has a very interesting house. My thanks to all the
people who came out for this great event, I felt at home. My gratitude to melissa for her hard work in
arranging the event and following it through, it is never easy to manage this kind of activity and be
successful.
Sincerely,
Malik
Kinky Wedding Gifts
First - Kinky Books (How To's and Fiction)
Out and About
Aside from planning some future fundraisers and getting ready for Oklahoma Mr. Leather
2003 I haven't been very active in July. However, I have been attending the Oklahoma
Whip Enthusiasts Group. It has been in existence for over a year now and is run by Bill.
If anyone is interested in interested in information about this group you can navigate the
following web site for the following information.
Tulsa Dungeon Society hosted Travis Wilson from Houston, TX to do a single tail
demonstration and workshop. Their August event will be needle play and will be
presented by Leigha Flemming. For more information please see
Leather Pride Night a success. CW's monthly leather pride night was a success; it was
well attended by many people of Oklahoma's various leather and fetish clubs. The next
leather pride night will be held on Friday, August 16th 2002. For more information you
can visit
Congratulations to Russ Cosgrove, Ms. Calgary Leather 2002 who captured the
International Ms. Leather 2002 and Kari Lavecchia, Mid Atlantic Bootblack, for
capturing the title International Ms. Bootblack.
Dark D/s Chicago Munch!
The weekend that we spent in Chicago was very exciting. We had many things to
do in a short period of time.. The major events were the munch and the visit to the
Leather Rose Dungeon.
The munch was very nice. Swt, the hostess made wonderful nametags, and had the table
dressed up with Champaign glasses that we were able to take with us as mementos. We
were at a French restaurant and the food was delicious.
We all got a chance to actually see each other and talk in person, which was a very moving
experience for me. It's very difficult to get people of color together, in public to discuss
something that is so private to them. D/s BDSM is an issue that is kept very quiet. So to
get a group of people of color together for this purpose is very rare. We are so scattered
that many of us have to travel quite a distance to see each other. We all felt that the munch
was a great success!
The Leather Rose was very interesting to me. I've been to other D/s clubs and dungeons before
but this one was the most open that I've seen. I've been to and played in dungeons in NYC and
Ohio but this experience was quite unique. I saw more open nudity and intense scening than ever
before. The toy store was right there in the dungeon and it was overflowing with all types of
equipment and clothing. Everyone was nice to us and we were treated very well. It was a
wonderful experience and I hope to have many more..
trinket
In Lieu of Gifts….
During Daddy Mikey's and mera's wedding in June of this year, they opted to gather donations
for the Welcome Home Development project. On the weekend of August 9, 2002. Daddy Mikey
and mera presented a check to Viola Johnson and Chris Zimmerman for $200.00.
A FEW RAMBLINGS ABOUT STEPHEN SCOTT FROM A FRIEND
BY: DADDY MIKEY, MR. SOONER STATE LEATHER 2002
My name is Mikey and Stephen Scott was my friend. He was the first Mr. Sooner State Leather in 2000. I was honored in April to be named Mr. Sooner State Leather 2002. When I first spoke to Stephen about my entering the contest, he told me that he had hoped I would enter and offered to help in any way he could. But then again, that was the way Stephen was. I don't think he ever met a stranger and was always smiling. After winning the contest, one thing I never thought I would have to do as a Titleholder, was to speak at another leather person's memorial. I did just that this past Sunday for Stephen.
But as I write this, my sadness at his passing is mixed with anger. My anger is two-fold. I am angry that this community has lost a very well known and good-hearted leather man. The other part of my anger is that his death was so tragic. I suppose though, that death in any form is tragic to some degree. I am not going to comment on what caused his death. There is enough discussion all over the nation about that. I want to comment on the fact that we as leather people must realize that we are responsible for the outcome of our actions, be that good, bad or indifferent. In the end, we all must own up to our actions and pay the consequences. Stephen paid the ultimate price. That makes me mad. I will never be able to hug him nor simply sit and talk with him again or say goodbye. Those that knew him knew a good man. Those that didn't missed meeting a good man, a good leather man that lived the leather lifestyle to the fullest!
So where does that leave us now? Stephen was the third friend of mine to die so far this year! All three died very tragic deaths, and way before any of their times, in my humble opinion. So what can I do? I am going to think very HARD about my actions from now on and how my choices will affect those close to and around me. Safe, Sane, and Consensual is what I teach as President of an OKC BDSM group and as a board member of NLA-OKC, I am going to encourage those around me to do the same. If I can do that, and others can do that. Then perhaps, just perhaps, I won't have to give any more eulogies.
In closing, I would like to think (and I do believe) that Stephen would want us to move on. Life waits on no one. I am going to remember Stephen always in my heart. I am going to tell people that I love them more often. I have started doing so already. In the wake of Stephen's passing, I have seen fences mended and bridges rebuilt already. Let's live life to the fullest, but do it in a Safe, Sane, and Consensual way always.
In Leather,
Interview with Stephen Scott, Mr. South Plains Leather 2001
1. What was the first thought that came to mind when your name was
announced as Mr. South Plains Leather 2001?
A feeling of wow it really happened, and a feeling that the hard work had paid off. Preparing for a contest especially the caliber of Mr. South Plains Leather is a lot of work but it is good work. I felt that I had proven myself. Especially to those who believed in me, and stood behind me and gave me their support. We all won that night!
2. You've come quite a long way since Mr. OKC. Leather 1991. It is 10 years later, what were some of the things that you've been involved with since that time?
The Mr. Oklahoma City Leather time in my life was very exciting! It was really during that part of my life that I began to grow and experience first hand the leather lifestyle. Things seemed to be a little fresher and new (I was also only 26 years old)
3. What is your platform and how do you plan on putting your platform into
effect?
I originally entered Mr. South Plains Leather because I liked the combination of a contest with educational workshops (and play parties). The integrity behind the producer Mr. Mark Frazier was also quite impressive and I wanted to be apart of that process. My real motivation was that I wanted to experience a regional contest. Just like when I entered Mr. Sooner State with the knowledge that it was the first year. I approached Mr. South Plains in the same fashion and with the same integrity. I've worked hard to establish a solid foundation for future contests. While it's important to remember as South Plains Leather contest grows, all state should be acknowledged in some form or fashion. The South Plains regions consist of Arkansas, Louisiana, New Mexico, Oklahoma and Texas. I am trying to personally contacting as many Leather groups though out the regions as possible to aid and assisting them in any way to promote them to enjoy the South Plains Leather Fest and Contest. As I've said many times before it the education that makes these kinds of events possible. People interested in pursuing leather as a life style as well as those who are living it now find great rewards in the leather classroom. I consider these events to be a traveling classroom where people can exchange a wealth of information. Any one interested in contacting me about South Plains Leather Fest should do by E-Mail MR.SPL01 @ home.com or Mr. Mark Frazier at Lhang@aol.com
4. Do you see a difference in the leather community that you knew in 1991?
What are some of those differences?
Since 1991, I suffered the loss of many friends. I also began to see the beginnings of acceptance and the need for change against discrimination along with the emerging of different groups within our own community. The explosion of the technical revelation called the Internet. What a fantastic tool it has been bringing our leather community closer.
5. On April 21, 2001, you will be stepping down as Mr. Sooner State
Leather 2000, do you have any advice to your successor?
Make the most of your year. While staying focused, be organized and plan ahead. If I can be of any help I'm just a call away.
We, the board of Tulsa Dungeon Society, are happy to announce that one of our founders and definitely our most "vocal" leaders, Leigha Fleming, will be returning to Tulsa in August. On August 16th, we will be hosting a special munch for Leigha where she will be talking about the History of BDSM in Tulsa and Oklahoma. On August 17th at our regular party she will be doing a demo on advanced needle play or breath control...or whatever we can get her to do. I want to invite anyone who wishes to attend, (Not only TDS members) to rsvp to:
TDSevents@hotmail.com.
We feel honored to host Leigha during this busy time for Leather People. Some of you may have seen her at Tribal Fire. She is involved with many leather events and issues and is also a part of NCSF. We are very proud to have her. Thank you in advance to her and to those who "convinced" her to come...
See you all there...
TDS Board
Subj: Tell Congress if gay partners of 9/11 victims should receive compensation
Let's make our opinion heard on this one. This web site usually gets more conservative voters participating. This polling system does make it to Congress because I get letters from Diane Feinstein after I participate. Let's take care of our gay heroes. Vote and pass in on so others may vote, too. Let's roll!
Yours
Dear Voter,
A controversy is building over whether gay partners of men and women who died in the Sept. 11 attacks should receive money from the federal victims' fund. Many of the 22 surviving partners of gay victims were in financially interdependent relationships, and the fund's administrator says that they are likely to be compensated. But conservative organizations, saying that this would set a bad precedent, are fighting to stop it.
Log on to
Please make your voice heard on this important matter, and forward this message to friends and family so they can participate too!
Evansville LeatherSir and Boy Contests
Contest: The contest started on Friday, March 29 with the Meet & Greet, Saturday afternoon Interviews, and Saturday night was the Contest: Leather Image/Intro, Physique, Sir Fantasy, and Service. The Contest was a very tight contest between the two boy contestants. Judges were looking at things to take off for constantly. In the Final score, there was only 7.75 points to separate the boys for the title of Evansville Leatherboy 2002. Although there was only one Sir Contestant, he still had to receive seventy percent of the score to receive his title. It was a very packed bar for the Evansville contest. The Winners of the Evansville contest will compete in the Illinois LeatherSir and boy contests the weekend of July 5th 2002. The winners were boy tim -
Friday July 5TH 2002 join the Maryland family at the Baltimore Eagle from 9 PM until1 AM. Draft beer and Jell-O shooters. Help send Maryland LeatherSir 2002 Marc Anderson and Maryland Leatherboy 2002 keith reeves off to the Mid-Atlantic LeatherSir and Leatherboy contests in Washington D.C.
Living in Leather 2002
LIL will take place the weekend of July 5th 2002 in Dallas Texas. Workshops will be two hours long and will consist of hands on and intensive demonstrations. For more information you can check out www.livinginleather.org
Tulsa Pride Parade June 1, 2002
This year's Tulsa Pride Parade was great. It was held at independence park in Tulsa Oklahoma. All of Oklahoma's Leather Class of 2002 was present and visible in the parade. The Class of 2002 includes: Oklahoma Mr. Leather 2002, Jason Pelky; Oklahoma LeatherSir 2002 and South Central LeatherSir, Dwayne Mitchell; Oklahoma Leatherboy 2002, Chad Neal; Mr. Tulsa Leather 2003, Richie Johnson; Mr. Sooner State Leather 2002 Daddy Mikey; Ms. Sooner State Leather 2002, Ms. Julia; Mr. Playmor Leather 2002 Randy Wallace and Ms. TNT's Leather 2002, Nattie.
TULSA had an outreach booth and did a free drawing for leather bootstraps and a leather harness. The leather was donated by Leathers West.
Gay Pride day in OKC will be on the weekend of June 21-23, 2002. All of Oklahoma's Titleholders are slated to march in the parade as well. In addition to Oklahoma's pride parade, NLA-OKC will be having the first ever leather pride night. It will be held on Friday June 21, 2002 at Club Levis in Oklahoma City at 9PM. Featured guests will be: Oklahoma Mr. Leather 2002, Jason Pelky; Oklahoma LeatherSir 2002 and South Central LeatherSir, Dwayne Mitchell; Oklahoma Leatherboy 2002, Chad Neal; Mr. Tulsa Leather 2003, Richie Johnson; Mr. Sooner State Leather 2002 Daddy Mikey; Ms. Sooner State Leather 2002, Ms. Julia; Mr. Playmor Leather 2002 Randy Wallace and Ms. TNT's Leather 2002, Nattie; Daddy R, President of TULSA.
Orange hankies, Ray Town (as in Mama's Family Ray Town), puns, brats and Harry Potter were just a few of the things that happened as my wife and I trekked to Kansas City to participate in KCLU. KCLU is an educational event produced by Zack Marquart, Mr. DixieBell Leather 2002; Terry B, Mr. DixieBell Leather 2000 and Todd H. Some of the presenters were: Craig H and Stan B; Oklahoma City's Bill S.; Mistress Lynette, Ms. South Plains Leather 2001; Dwayne B, M. Ozarks Leather 2000; Goddess C; Janet R, and myself.
My wife and I arrived at Zack and Bill's on late Friday afternoon. Of course I got lost when I drove up there, I zigged when I should have Zagged and ended up in Kansas City, Kansas, as opposed to Kansas City, Missouri. But before arriving to Zack's, we went through Ray Town Missouri the same town where Carol Burnett came up with the concept of Mama's Family. Personally, it didn't look nothing like the one on TV. After we got settled in Bill and Zack they showed us around their beautiful house. Afterwards, all four of us met Lynette for dinner. Later that night we headed to the Dixie Belle Complex to do short demos and teasers for KCLU. We all went into the leather store that night and I had to buy an orange hanky for Bill; I just thought it would look great on him. Before I knew it he turned around and bought one for me, so both Bill and I were sporting orange hankies. Well until I found Spanky and I not so discretely shoved my hanky into his pocket.
Later on we met up with Bill, Goddess C and Lynette and shortly began flogging demos. Goddess C pretty much started everything off and she had quite a long line of people who wanted her to flog them. I kinda sat back and watched , it didn't last too long. It was decided that C. would start on this one young man, Bill would take the middle and I would finish him off. This kid was a pretty much a pain pig and it was a good thing. After a while on my turn, I had to pull out my 36-inch bull hide floggers. After I finished, he still wanted more so, Bill single tailed him. After it was all done with, the guy was floating - it was a beautiful thing. Later that night, I put Terry in a nice little rope harness after I finished it was time to go and well after two am.
The next day was Leather University and I was doing a class on advanced flogging with Goddess C as well as doing an intricate rope bondage class. While Zack was driving, Bill mentioned something about having the Harry Potter DVD and I lost it. I haven't seen it at that point. So the question about what to do after the demos were finished, I voted for watching Harry Potter.
The demos were great. I attended Bill's Single Tail class and I loved it. He is very skilled at what it does. I find it amazing that you may meet some local people out of state. As it was with Bill, I had heard of him by reputation but never had a chance to meet him. After that Demo, I assisted Goddess C with the flogging class. Everyone seemed to have enjoyed it; I really enjoyed working with her. My next class was intricate rope bondage and it seemed to have gone over pretty well. The best part of by bondage demo was using Zack's bratty boy Bill as a victim, I mean, willing participant. I made him some saggy man breasts with rope and put him in a combination karada (rope harness) 1980's bondage pants sorta motif bondage. And when I asked him if he remembered bondage pants, he replied, no I was only nine when they came out. (Ouchie! I felt so dated) After I finished binding Bill, Zack gave me the perfect opportunity to get even. He gave me a vibrating sound, so I quickly used it on Bill's nose and if anyone has used a vibrating device on a person's nose, you will understand how annoying that can be.
After the demo, we all had dinner at Manny's Mexican food restaurant, it was the first traditional restaurant that I have been to since I moved from LA. They just didn't have this rice drink that I love called horchata. After dinner, we all went to the DB complex to hang out and exchange techniques, it was pretty awesome.
Finally it was Harry Potter time. We all watched Harry Potter after a kink filled weekend and went to bed. Zack and Bill were great hosts. My wife and I had a great time in KC, the men of KC Piorneers were very gracious to us all.
On Sunday June 16, 2002 Mr. Sooner State Leather 2002 tied the knot on his slave mera. Congratulations you two and I hope you have many years of happiness.
Normally I preface my post with the words" this is my opinion and only
my opinion" but this post is so serious to me that I feel I would cheapen
it by adding that phrase. This post is how I feel and I will remember,
protect and cherish these feelings forever.
*********************************
Having always known the deep significance and absoluteness of cutting,
blood print and blood bonding I found myself very much enjoying the event
this past weekend. I was more than honored when my wife offered herself
to be cut with a design of my choosing. It did not take long for me to
come up with a design that emphasized my understanding of how intensively
important the cutting was going to be and to memorialize and honor the
impact of her cutting.
At one point during
her cutting I was standing in front of her to allow her to feel and see
that she was safe since cutting can be incredibly invasive. I got to stare
deep into her eyes and for a fraction of a second I glimpsed her soul. She
opened up a place I had not seen in quite some time and it was incredible
for complete lack of a better word.
After the event I had to go to work and did not see my Precious One until
the next day and when I got home I could sense something different between
us. There was an odd nagging sensation but since I could not put my finger
on it I decided to try and figure it out later.
After much urging from the woman who did the cutting on Remy I relented and
decided to face not only one of my biggest fears, which is being cut, but to
also feel what I saw in my wife's eyes the previous night. I cannot explain
the cutting except to say that it was almost too intense for me to bear. It
was not more pain that I can handle, in fact the pain was quite manageable,
it was something more....something different. It was not anything that I
could explain with words because to me it was something ominous and enthralling.
So intense were the feelings that I almost asked, begged, pleaded for her to
stop the cutting but for some strange reason I did not. Daddy Kevin, being the
incredible friend that he is, stroked my head and neck and allowed me to press
my face to his stomach, which had a wonderful calming effect. Remy then switched
him places and while cradling my head to her chest when the cutting was in its
last stages it happened.
I could not control the intensity any longer and I begin to weep. So strange were
the emotions and sensation that I could not even call it crying because I felt as
if no tears were flowing forth yet.... I wept. I tried to stymie the crying but
could feel my wife's tears on my cheek and began to cry even harder. I almost felt
as if I was betraying myself by crying, by not sitting up stoically and taking this
cutting. I felt as if I was doing something that is against my very nature but
pursued it anyway.
When Remy pulled away from me is when I felt the tears making their way down my
cheeks and falling to the floor in droplets that numbered to many to count. Everyone
that was present cleared the room as if there were an unwritten rule of etiquette
that allowed no one else to be present for fear of chasing away the bonding like
the light chases away the darkness.
I looked into my wife's eyes and I assume she was seeing the same thing I saw
briefly the day before because at that moment we both cried together and held
each other as if we had not seen one another for months or years. It took me a
full 24 hours to realize the reason for me crying was because I had once again
bonded with my wife in a manner I had not remembered in some time and honestly
never remembered it being so encompassing. I was crying from joy in as much as
facing my fears of knives and fear of myself.
The scariest beast or challenge a person can face is themselves and I did it.
I have done it before and have felt good after the challenge, but this time it
was deeper, more emotional and more rewarding. Getting a cutting will not be the
right thing for everyone as it was for me but the importance is the same
nonetheless.
To understand what it means to have a blood bond and a blood print is to know
that it is more serious and important than wedding vows. It even trumps the
pact made between Master/slave, Dominant/submissive because of its spiritual
significance. It crosses all categories and lines with complete oblivious
awareness for gender, titles and station.
It is in effect the most sacred bond a person can make and we did it this
weekend. I feel forever changed from that one cutting and will explore it
further in the future. I will forever honor and even frame the blood print
my wife presented me with. I will forever honor the meaning behind receiving
a cutting and I will forever cherish the moment my wife's and my souls locked
hands again.
Sincerely,
The Tulsa Leather Weekend kicked off on Friday, March 15 at CW's with a
military ball. Hot men in uniform were in abundance. The military ball
also served as a meet and greet for the Mr. Tulsa Leather 2003 contest
which was moved from September to March. There were also a few other
changes. The Mr. Tulsa Leather contest is also under new ownership.
Former contest owner, Ron Greenwood passed the torch to Randy Wheeler
in the fall of 2001.
The Tulsa Leather Weekend had other activities as well. There was a
cutting and piercing demonstration by Susan and Cindy Bookout (IMsL 1994).
The demo was promoted by The Tulsa Dungeon society. Sir Ron of TDS
organized it. The demonstration was well attended and very informative.
There were four contestants: Robert Beavers, Richie Johnson, Chris (Pony)
McGill and William vied for the honor to be Mr. Tulsa Leather 2003.
The contest had a record attendance and CW's was packed. Leather dignitaries
came from as far as Kansas City. Among those in attendance were: the newly
sashed Heart of America Leatherboy Brian Rochon; Mr. Missouri Leather 2001,
Sam Sampson; Chad Neal, Oklahoma Leatherboy 2002; and Oklahoma Mr. Leather
2001 Jim Stout.
The Judges were, Jason Pelky (OML 2002, Head Judge and auctioneer), Ric Poston,
Mr. OGRA 2002 and producer of the Mr. Sooner State Leather contest), Ed Smith,
(noted leather man and a founding member of the Discipline Corps), Chris Haggard
(the outgoing Mr. Tulsa Leather), Mark Goines (Mr. Tulsa Leather 2001) and
David (Oklahoma Mr. Leather 2000).
The contestants all looked great and gave it their all, but when the scores
were tallied, Robert Beavers was first runner-up and Richie Johnson was sashed
as Mr. Tulsa Leather 2003. I would like to congratulate Randy Wheeler on a
successful event and Chris Haggard for his work as Mr. Tulsa Leather 2002.
Richie Johnson will compete in the Oklahoma Mr. Leather 2003 contest in
October 2002.
On March 15, 2002, the members of People Exchanging Power-Oklahoma voted
by popular acclamation to change the group's name to LiNK which stands
for Leather in Kink. The discussions for a suitable name had been in
negotiations for quite some time and it was settled at the members munch.
For some of the founding members of the group it is a significant step as
the name PEP-OK holds fond memories. As for me personally, I remember
being at the inaugural meeting in April of 1999 where everyone diligently
searched for a name that would represent the group.
In the past few years, LiNK (PEP-OK) has evolved from a fetish group with
a primary focus on providing education and a place for its members to play
to a group that is active in the leather and fetish communities. They have
volunteered at many events, sponsored several titleholders, helped to raise
monies for local and national causes, hosted educational events and had
several of its members give seminars at events such as Oklahoma Mr. Leather,
South Plains Leatherfest and Mr. Sooner State Leather. Good luck on the
new name.
(Ms. World 2001)
Sunday approximately noon, interview with Viola Johnson
David: We're going to talk a little bit about Ms World, but mainly
about 'Welcome Home' if that's ok.
Vi: You betcha
Vi: Every titleholder that Jill and I have known, including
Jill, by the way, has finished their title year. You know they've "detoxed"
and its 6 months to a year later they're going "gee I wish I had…" or "I wish
I wish I had done…" And it's not something you know in your title year. You
will spend your year learning the politics of the circuit, figuring how to
get mic time, learning who the people are in the community that can help you
with future projects. You'll learn so much and experience so many wonderful
things. But by the time you figure all of it out, you're usually somewhere
in between 8 and 12 weeks from stepping down. Then you get to turn around
after you've gotten your feet back under you and suddenly there's a regret.
Its not a big regret, its not a bad regret, but there is a regret there. "I
had the ear of the world. They all listen to for one year. Why didn't I say,"
(and then you get to fill in the blank). Only experience will teach you that.
I couldn't teach that to you before you became a titleholder, there is no way
to explain it. What we wanted to do with women because men's organizations,
groups, charities, causes and concerns have voices---What we wanted to do with
women was to take the woman who has already been the American Leather woman
three, four, five years ago. To take the women who has already been IMsL
three, four, five years ago or Ms. South Plains or Ms. whatever and take the
experiences that she has had, take all of the wonderful things that she has
learned and take the work she's doing and has been doing in her community and
give her a voice for that "god I wish I had". And so we geared this contest
to the older leather woman. Not just older chronologically, but older in
experience.
The woman who has already been out seven, ten or even twelve years. The woman
who doesn't believe she can compete anywhere, because she's too old and give
her a voice and an arena, for something she believes in which is why there is
no fantasy. Fantasies are good for the young ones. It helps shows where her
imagination goes. But a woman who has been out for ten years doesn't need it.
She should already know where her imagination goes. To give that woman a voice
for what she believes she believes is important. That's how it happened when
I heard Jill and Jill came out of the gate with a goal. This was what she
wanted to accomplish. And even when her title year was done she kept going
"god I wish I had done more". Why not give that woman a way to do more?
David: Has Ms. World turned out the way you expected it to be
Overall..?
Vi: Yes, so we have some serious competition and this is the first
one out. Why go to the first when you can go to more established events
"If it survives, I'll go next year" is a lot of the attitude. But I think
we have changed the standard for women. And I honestly believe that there
are a whole lot of 40, 50 and maybe even 60 year old leather women. Who are
going, "maybe there is something for me after all". So its been better
than we ever dreamed it would be.
David: How much personal time has the contest taken up?
Vi: (Laughs) it has eaten the last 6 months of my life. Actually,
that's not fair, it has eaten that last four months pretty consistently not
to mention a healthy portion of my wallet.
David: How has your previous judging and contest producing ]
experience influenced what you have done with Ms World?
Vi: Actually, we have collectively…the only one on this board with
serious experience producing a contest is Mark. Jill and I have been helping
T.U.L.S.A. for ten years. But it's a different scope, it's meant to be a lot
more local and state focused versus something on this scale. So we're not
even babies crawling, we're neonates coming out of the womb. Of the entire
board, the only one with producing experience has been Mark.
David: As a judge, what do you expect from a titleholder and as a
producer has your expectations changed?
Vi: Let's take this one in bits and pieces. What I expect from a
titleholder depends on the age of the titleholder and the contest they are
coming out of. On the local level, I expect a lot of consciousness raising.
I understand that it's easier to preach to the choir then it is to go and
stand out and talk to the heathen so to speak. But I expect the young
titleholder not just to be in the bar or at the local pride parade.
Whether it be a pride parade for gays or for sexual freedom. I also
expect to see that local titleholder at a fundraiser for cancer or at
the local lions club leading a toy drive. Because that's the kind of
awareness that will not only bring someone who is in the leather closet
out. Because "wait a minute, I don't just have to be in a bar. I can do
a food drive, I can collect money for Toys for Tots, I can lead a motorcycle
run and collect blankets for the needy". That's what I expect my titleholder
to be, especially on the local level. Because his or her job is to be the
shining example of the leather knight in armor whether that be male or female
to the rest of the community. Not to the men and women in leather…we already
know who you are, we already know what you've done. The world however doesn't.
So go put in 15 hours passing out leaflets for breast cancer awareness in your
sash. Go stand for the politician you believe in and pass out fliers in your
sash. Rally the community to give money to someone whose going to help this
community in your sash. That's what I expect from a titleholder. And that
scope only broadens as the title takes on state, regional and the national
level. So I confess I have a very different perspective. There's more to
it than just perpetuating the contest circuit. There's a lot that can be
done. I suppose that's partially why I am so proud of these nine women.
They've been kicking ass in their own community for years and they kicked
ass yesterday. They showed their concerns and their worries. When Annie
Romano stood on that stage and said "I know somebody with Lupus and so do
you".. The hairs on my arms stood on end and that's what I expected.
When Mindy talked about the love affair that the NCSF is building with the
city of Baltimore in terms of changing its laws my hair stood on end,
because that's what I expect. I expect a lot from this younger generation,
as well as from the mentors who are guiding them. We've got to stop
preaching to the choir. There's a big world out there that we can change
and more importantly there are an awful lot of people who are kinkier than
they have ever realized who are afraid to come out.
David: We were discussing, as a Judge what do you expect from a
titleholder and as a producer has your expectations changed?
Vi: They've broaden, but they haven't really changed. Like I said,
David so much is relative to the contest itself. Is it meant to stir to
local heart, is it meant to raise state awareness. What is the contest
meant to do?. The titleholder needs to remember the original intention of
the promoter. But the one thing you cannot teach a titleholder that they
have to learn for themselves is that they (have - ed.) a platform to stand
on. They can use it or not. Most don't realize that they have this great
big platform, because they have this captive audience to speak to, to teach,
to guide and to motivate. And if they do it right, if we help them more as
promoters by going " Ms. So and So is here, would you like a little mike
time?" Rather than forcing the titleholder to ask for mic time, maybe we
can get titleholders more focused on using the mic to carry the message.
And I confess that I am more focused on that now. Give them the mic find
the people who have the message and give them the platform to say it on.
David: And since they've been there, they have more experience
about how to go about it.
Vi: Yeah
David: Ms. World has set a precedent with the open interviews.
It was tried out at South Plains and all of the kinks out so to speak, no
pun intended.
Vi: God bless our promoter. Because we have talked out the idea of
throwing those interviews open. I've never liked closed interviews, because
people don't know why someone one won or lost and more often than not they
don't understand why the front runner is the front runner. And when we first
talked about this with Jill, Mark and myself opening up the interviews, Mark
said that he'd do it with South Plains and see how it would work to try and
get the bugs out of it and so on and so forth. So we can come here with a
little bit of experience under our belt in terms of what response would be.
It's just, if I had to lay a bet on the reaction to the open interviews, I'd
have lost big time. I expected the press to be in the interview and two or
three curious onlookers and maybe ten fans of each of the contestants. I
never expected to see more than twenty people in that interview. I'd have
bet on it. Between the poster sessions going on, between all of the parties
and the option of going down to the women's museum…twenty people tops plus
the judges. When I turned around or interview number seven and there were
over a 100 people in the room, I was floored. I never was expecting that.
So whether or not it's the people solving their curiosity about what the
interview is like or whether or not they're curious because this is a
different interview process. (Whether -ed.) These women have to come in
with a message and the people in the audience wanted not just the interview
but hear the message, I'll never know. But I'll tell ya, I was bowled over
when I looked at the amount of the people in the room.
David: Since 1979 and prior to that with the smaller runs, it was
a big mystery what happened behind those closed doors and bringing that out
in the open, I feel may change the perspective of interviews and it may change
the expectations of the people coming to these events.
Vi: Hopefully, Hopefully it'll change..you know I've heard so much
about "raising the bar" and I don't think that is fair. Changing it, yeah.
It'll change the expectations, not just of the titleholders or the young
ones coming in for the titles, but it will also change the expectations of
those who prepare them for the title. I expect you to know your history but
I also expect you to have a heart and I want to see it in your interview.
David: "Welcome Home"; initially, where did the concept of
Welcome Home begin?
Vi: God it must have begun an easy 20 years ago, make that 25 years
ago. As we were young leather women and we were taken under the wing of so
many wonderful people, who at the time were much much older than we were.
We made jokes about everyone getting together and buying 100 acres and
letting the slaves run naked in the woods. Well at the time, I would have
been one of the slaves running naked through the woods. And that was fine
and that was fun and it was a joke. About fifteen years ago I lost a leather
son that I adored. And I watched him die in a VA hospital before the doctors
and nurses who could feed him because they wouldn't touch him. (crying) And
the men of TULSA and the women of TULSA took turns at the VA hospital in
Muskogee feeding him and loving him. Imagine a room longer than this (the
measurement of a long hall with a hospital bed) with your bed at one end and
the door at the other. And you're wired to your bed with the tubes and the
ropes, and they would put his food inside the door and then three hours they
would come and take it away. I'm sorry David. (in tears)
David: That's inhuman.
Vi: He was getting skinnier and skinnier and skinnier. Until we
figured out what was happening and it took us about a week, and we started
taking turns going down to feed that cowboy. And he started, I mean his HIV
status was discovered very very late, but I believe he died of neglect, not
of AIDS. and it killed me to bury him it absolutely killed me. And all I
could think of, if there were any other people, if he would have been in a
leather hospice instead of a place where people were afraid to even look at
him or come near him that cowboy would still be alive. And the men of TULSA
because I've been a member of TULSA almost damn near since its inception.
We laughed, we joked about all wanting to grow old and die together, and
wouldn't it be wonderful if…. And then the idea went on, and then I blew out
one shoulder, and as old slaves do the knees start going bad and then you know,
I've heard too many tops complain about floggers elbow. And the largest
generation in history won't go back into its closet anymore. Where would it
go? Who are going to give the leather to, because you cant take it with you?
Who are you going to give the Etienne paintings to because you sure as hell
can't hang them up against the wall? And gee, wouldn't it be nice if? And
that was five years ago, and the thinking kept getting broader. Now last year,
I was here for Beyond Vanilla I did the keynote address and I was talking about
a lot of things that they never expected to hear. They expected Mom to talk
about leather history and the evolution and how proud I was of the next
generation and all the things that mothers do to inspire their children.
I got up on the podium and I said how many of you can see what I am holding
in my hands, and I was holding up my will. The audience was so quiet you could
have heard a fly rub its wings together. I said this isn't a symbol of death,
this is a symbol of life. My will guarantees that if anything happens to me,
Jill is by my side, not some strange relative that I don't know and don't like.
I said if you love a slave enough to collar them, why don't you give them the
power of the power of attorney. And I talked about how many people in this
audience were in non-traditional relationships. Not necessarily gay or lesbian,
but in Master/slave relationships with a female submissive who is not your wife.
What have you done to protect your relationship? And there was this, absolutely
stunned silence. I said how many of you have thought about adopting your boy
in order to guarantee that that boy will be by your side and that that boy can't
be thrown out by your family. I got a better question for you, if you haven't
thought about it, why not? Are you so bound up in society's "box" that you
haven't learned to think outside of it to protect the people you love, because
the government has given us the tools, we just don't use them. That's what a
power of attorney is for, that's what an adoption is for, that's what a trust
is for. It's a way of binding a non-traditional relationship. So why don't you
do it? And then I said, and by the way, what are you going to do with your boy,
when you're too old to take care of him? And would it be nice if he didn't have
to worry. Well then a young lawyer, I finished the speech, I walked the length
of the atrium back to my table and there was stunned silence and then the audience
exploded. Well, when it was all over a young lawyer from Dallas approached me and
he said "you know this idea you have for a leather home, if money were no object,
what would it look like?" and I just let my imagination run, well I mad a mistake
because three of my kids were standing there and they heard the whole thing. I had
to go from Dallas to another event and then home so I was gone for about eight days.
When I got home, there was this email that said "Mom you need to correct this".
Correct it? Yeah well you need to correct it, because we've already shown it to a
friend of ours and the Housing and Urban development office and she said if you're
serious about this, raise the first million and HUD will give you the other two.
I went MILLION WITH AN M? What are you nuts? I can't raise enough money to pay off
the mortgage for the archives and you want me to raise a million dollars? Well, it
was a two page very simple introduction, taking everything that I had said and u
nfortunately a few things that they also heard and talked about home. And that I
wanted to welcome leather people of all genders and all persuasions, because Jill
and I came out in an era where who was sleeping with whom didn't matter. You know,
you weren't gay in leather, you weren't heterosexual in leather, you were just kinky.
And what it would be like to have that kind of home and be welcomed in that kind
of home. So, first this letter comes about and then next thing I know two other
of my kids have a web site up and then suddenly they're talking and they took the
world's worst drawing because my artwork is one step below stick figures, not above,
below. And they turned it into the architectural rendering that Ann was showing
yesterday. Which is the absolute dream. A little leather village that can take
care of its own, young or old, that has a place for all persuasions, I mean I am
looking forward to watching the landscaper mow the lawn naked. I may be too old
to do anything about it, but I can still watch. A place where the kids come home
because it's got a run site build in and while they're there, you know, take the
hiking trail across and sit at Frank Puckett's knee and listen to him tell some
stories. Or better yet run over the kennel and romp with the puppies. Or better
yet, I'm old go grab my pony cart and come around to get me. A place where I just…
well actually, I'm also, if I'm going to tell this story properly I might as well
also tell you that..I'm an old dyke that's sick of worrying I am so sick of going
to the government with my hat in my hand. I am so tired of begging for gay rights
cause I really don't want them. I want the rights guaranteed me by the Constitution.
That's not a special favor. I don't want you bending over backwards because I'm gay.
I want you to stop trying to persecute me because I'm gay. I am so sick of worrying
about the people I love. I am tired of wondering if you're going to lose your
children, I am tired of wondering if Jill is going to lose her job, I am tired of
wondering. I want to take my family and go home. If you wont play nice screw it,
I am going to take my bat and take my ball and go home. (begins to cry) And my god,
you can obviously tell I haven't had enough sleep. I just don't want to worry any
more. And in a quiet place and we've looked at a lot of states, no one state fits
it all. And the state to be winning the most favor is actually Tennessee. We are
still doing a lot of research. But there are so many requirements for this. It
has to be within 90 minutes from the airport 30 minutes from a major hospital.
It has to be a state where its sodomy laws are already overturned. That has few
if any SM laws. That is still predominantly rural because the land has to be under
$1000 per acre and has to have a history of liberal politics. And as we've
investigated, there are still a lot of gay communes in the hills of Tennessee
that get along fabulously with their neighbors. Because it really does have
that old rule of " you stay on your side of the fence and I'll stay on mine and
every once in a while I'll come over and fix your tire and you'll come over and
kiss my dog". There are a lot of old hippy communes in those hills and there
are a lot of old nudist colonies in those hills and they have a history of
liberal politics for god sake that's Al Gore's home state. The good part is,
by the way, the last requirement is it has to have its own water and that's
why New Mexico is a problem. Because some of the water fights that New Mexico
is going through is frightening. But the bad part is you got a lot of water,
you got mold you allergies, if we were in New Mexico those problems would already
be solved. But its easier to put you into an air conditioned building that
filters out the mold the dust, the pollen than it is to generate the water.
So we were very surprised. Pennsylvania fits, its too damn cold, these are
old bones. Unless I have hot and cold running boys shoveling the snow, I
ain't going. New Mexico fits, the water problems are a little scary same
thing with Arizona. California fits, if you have $35,000 per acre. Vermont
would be ideal, it's the perfect little gay state and its got winter 9 months
a year. Each state has its problems, the one that seems to have the least
right now, is Tennessee. Land is still $1000 an acre, it also is in Oklahoma
and Arkansas it seems to be the ideal little conclave. Now the one with the
best laws is Texas, its too fucking hot down here. I love these boys, but its
too fucking hot. So its, we're doing the research and its not going to be
everything I envisioned in my lifetime, but if its set up correctly, it will
roll on when I am there or not. Because people are beginning to have the
vision. They're beginning to think. "Oh wait a minute, with more and more
people telecommuting and more and more of us running our own businesses."
And the one comment that was made yesterday that I really disagree with, an
individual asked a question about the limited resources in the leather
community especially in the women's community. I personally believe that
there's a lot more out there than we realize. The problem is that we are
an insular little group and we keep seeing the same faces over and over again.
But there is a whole world out there. There are swingers, who have the BDSM
aspect in their lifestyle. There all of those who have played in their
closets because they are scared to death of losing all the things they hold
dear who would come to a quiet place if only to visit. Park the 5th wheel
in the back because there's an area to drop a trailer and come spend their
vacation there. So there's a lot more resources that I think we don't give
this community for.
David: That leads to the next question. The idea of a community
where leather people are actually living together will seem to change the
definition of community itself.
Vi: From your lips to god's ears, I hope so.
David: Looking at it from a social point of view and what I mean
is we interact with each other primarily at events and at small gatherings
and we have our own personal relationships. However gathering a group of
people together and actually having a community not only in spirit but a
physical community where these is interaction among people living together
will seem like it's a realization in addition to changing to idea of what
we consider community.
Vi: But it's not so foreign as you think it is. Are you just
outside of Tulsa?
David: No, Oklahoma City.
Vi: You're in Oklahoma City. How do you know about Tulsa?
David: Not much.
Vi: You know where ORU is?
David: Yes.
Vi: Do you realize that just outside of Sheridan at about 96th
is a whole community sitting there? They're all Oral Roberts Methodists
and it's a retirement community and you'd never notice it. There are
probably 400 people living there. Retirement communities based on
ideologies are very very common. The Chinese do it all the time.
There are Chinese retirement homes, there are Baptist retirement homes,
there are retirement homes, there are retirement homes for police, there
are retirement homes for old actors. This is nothing new. And I don't
even think it's the 1st time its been tried before because there are
retirement homes for swingers. This isn't that unusual. It may be a
different focus for this community, but it comes back to I believe the
correct word in its truest definition is ghetto. And that's a community
of like minds. We've made the word something dirty. It isn't. Jews
live together because they share something in common. Chinese live
together in China Town it's all over the place. The big banners are
there, and the signs are there and the posts are there and the dragon
is blazing. They live together, because it's a community of like minds.
It's not that unusual, for god's sake San Francisco has China Town,
New York has Little Tokyo not to mention Little Italy and Little Spain
and why should we be any different?
David: Hmmm Little Kinky?
Vi: (New Jersey accent) I'm going to the coffee house; I'll meet
you at Single Tail and Main.
David: (Laughs) How do you think the vanilla people or the
people who are not a part of the leather community will receive Welcome
Home? How do you think the people will people will perceive a community
such as this?
Vi: I don't think they'll care. Like I said if you can put up
with an old hippy commune, you know you come back to the wisest of old
adages which is good fences make good neighbors. What you do on your
side of the fence doesn't affect me. Now if you get rural enough, not
only will they kiss your ass, they will love you. Stop and think, you're
bringing jobs into a rural community, you're bringing construction,
you're bringing things that will improve the land values, you're
bringing a place that needs four or five young landscapers, two or three
nurses, some doctors. You're bringing building projects, your bringing
land projects, you're bringing water projects. Somebody's gotta lay the
sewer line. So if you get rural enough, the community may just do
anything you want. Just like… see we're just focused on the fact that
it's a leather community that we are forgetting on some level, take the
ideology out of if and just look at its baby step. We're still in
infancy, but progress a little further down the line. All we're doing
is what any development corporation does. It may be a leather development
corporation, but who needs to know the ideology, it's a gated community.
What I do behind my gate is what I do, what you do behind yours is your
business.
David: To take even one step further. If you do build such a
community, then that means politically we could get representation.
Vi: It's possible
David: And I know this is speculation.
Vi: It's down the road, just down the road.
David: But having a community like that does make something
like that very possible where you have somebody who is representing
your best interest.
Vi: And if you are rural enough, once again, you can change
the course the local politics. But that comes back to what gays and
lesbians figured out about 22 years ago, which is that green spends.
When Jill and I were probably in our late 20s there was a big campaign.
They were passing out rubber stamps to gays and lesbians in the bar,
they asked you to stamp your money with a little lambda. Didn't have
to be dead in the center. You know, you weren't going to worry about
the defacing thing and all that. Just put the little lambda on your
dollar. And it was a major campaign for about two years and it
taught the local politicians a lesson they never thought they wound
learn, which is how much gay money is out there. But money is power
and if you know where the money is coming from, you're going to be
focused a little differently. And leather dollars are still dollars.
And if we move into a nice quiet rural area take over uncle bubba's
farm at 400s acres for starters. You know the goal is for something
bigger, but the reality is we're going to start with a hundred or two
hundred acres. And if the area is rural, and that's another reason
for the rural setting, it will keep expanding. Somebody will buy
another fifty, and maybe donate it and buy another fifty and sell it
off to other leather people or donate an area for a hospice or whatever.
The local community would bend over backwards and kiss your ass.
Because a person, who is there needs groceries, needs to have their
tires changed, needs to have a mechanic, a doctor and someone.
Some of that, the vision in 10 to 15 years is to have it all within
the walls of the community. But the bottom line is it's still coming
in. The local distributor for cheetos is still bringing in X amount
of cheetos and bread and milk and everything else that community
represent dollars to the larger community that it's a part of. We
are so focused on that leather thing, we're forgetting about all the
rest of it and we're forgetting that this is not a new idea; this is
a new idea for us.
David:
Going back to the general public, when you have a gated community,
and even though it will be a community where leather people can go and
other people from various parts of the lifestyle can go do you think
the media will perceive this community as a cult?
P>
Vi: Actually that's an interesting choice of words, but once
again, who cares? What I do on my side of the fence doesn't affect
you on yours. Good fences make good neighbors. And if you've looked
at that sketch you'll realize that this is a double fenced community.
When I started spinning those dreams, one of the reasons we needed
water was because water represents trees and trees are security.
A friend of mine whom has his own compound of sorts said you take
the local trees, you trim them up 40 feet you turn it into a park.
No one can see down. So you are protected from the visuals of the air.
Somebody's running naked in the woods, who cares its your woods. You
take the outside fence and the inside fence between the two are the
main access roads. You let all the shrubbery and bramble and briar
you want grow on the inside fence. Someone who crosses the first barrier
wont be able to cross the second. Once again, I don't think anybody is
going to care. It's a community, its brought jobs, they're not affecting
me. Nobody's died over there, the police are never over there…who cares
what they are doing. It's simply a gated community like any other and
I don't stop and think about what was going on in South Wood North
even though I lived in SouthWood South in Bixby (Oklahoma). It was a
quiet gated family community. They could have all been beating the
shit out of each other or god only knows what. My neighbors in the north
didn't care. I didn't know what they were doing either. I don't worry
about what's going on in the little retirement community down at ORU,
that's their business. The press doesn't cover it. They're just nice
retiree's who are sitting in their little rocking chair and minding
their own business. Our rocking chair may be a little bit kinkier.
But I think we need to stop focusing on the ideology and just accept
the fact that we're old and we're kinky and so what. If I don't feel
like using and electric cart and want to use a pony cart, that's not
going to affect my neighbors because they are not going to see it.
If there's two legged or four legged in a kennel that's still not
going to affect my neighbors. (Whispers) They're not going to see
it either.
David:
Last question about Welcome Home. How will you market this to the
younger generation considering that some of them feel that they are
19 they are invincible and that they feel like they can live forever.
Vi: You know, that was a serious question for me until South
East Leather Fest. Because the vision was to provide a place for
all of those who felt uncomfortable in main world but comfortable
in their own skin. Ultimately, and like I said the vision is far
reaching, I would love to know that the kid who is mowing my lawn
with the 18 piercings and the 47 tattoos who couldn't get a job
anywhere else could get a job at Welcome Home. That the young
boys whose sex was originally female who came out of the army with
paramedic training can now be a nurse at Welcome Home. But at
LeatherFest, a young boy came up to me, I want to say South East,
it was one of the boys from the South East states and said,
"I think know where I want my little apartment", and I looked
at him. I think he was some where between 28 and 31. He said,
"I've always been alone and I telecommute I can be anywhere in
the world, gee it would be nice if I could be there." I said,
but does it matter that you're going to be around a bunch of
old farts? And he said, "The reality is you'd be surprised
about how many kids feel the same way. We're the young computer
generation." Which I can't begin to understand. And a healthy
portion of them are opening up their own businesses, they are
telecommuting to their own offices which are thousands of miles
away. Who I honestly think…they surprised me, because my scope
on this was very limited. My focus was very narrow. It's my
younger generation, its my leather sons and my grand sons who
have been expanding my consciousness and reminding me that I
need to open my eyes and realize that community is community
and that age has nothing to do with it. So they've been
wearing me out with this thing. It's taken on a life of its
own. It was…it was notice that's past tense..It was one
woman's dream, it's now a communities dream and it's a
communities project because it sure as hell isn't mine.
Not unless god came down and handed me a power ball lottery,
and I still couldn't pull this off. Because this takes
minds far greater than mine. The only thing I donated is
inspiration…the designs, the energy, the administrative
abilities, the focus for the future is the community's
I don't have shit to do with this. It's like the little
kid that made the snowball at the top of the hill, all I
did was make the snowball and start it rolling down.
It's taking on a life of its own and for the community
to build it, they first have to buy into it. And everyone
who does, brings their little bit of their heart and
intellect into this project. And everyone who goes
"that's a hell of an idea", takes a little bit away as
their project. All I did was make the snowball. It's
going to be a "snow castle" by the time its finished
and I didn't do that. I have two doctors who have
emailed my executive director and me "My name is..,
my license number is…, when you are ready to apply for
the grant, I will put my license on the line. I've got
a leather hospice nurse who says "when you are ready, I'm
coming." I've got architects, designers who are all
chomping at the bit to experiment, to build, to build
their dream…not mine. It's become a whole communities
philosophy… A Place to Call Home.
David: Thank you, But I was just wondering
about something. (Pulls out an old interview with
Jill, Vi, and Cougar. I was wondering if you remember this.
Vi: (Laughs) Two years ago, Folsom, I think it was.
David: Actually it was four.
Vi: My god, am I that old?
Vi: Jesus David: Its going on four years since
this interview and initially this is when as it was put,
the courting process with Cougar was still happening.
Vi: Actually we had just moved her when this was
done and half of San Francisco wanted us dead.
Terrel:l One thing that is very amazing is 25 years
(with Jill)
Vi: 28 now.
David: 28 years with a life partner (Jill)
no matter if they are gay or heterosexual no matter what,
its really unheard of in this day and age.
Vi: As a matter of fact its five years tomorrow. (smiles)
David: Reaching five years in a poly amorous relationship.
Has anything changed since this interview as far as inspiring people…
Vi: (Laughs) We didn't get into this to inspire
people, we got into this because we fell in love. It just
happened. I didn't set out to inspire people, Jill didn't
set out to be a role model, I didn't set out to be a mother
it just happened.
David Do you think that this could have happened 28 years ago?
Vi: My best offer is maybe. Hindsight is always 20/20
and even then, I can't say no, but also can't say yes. It
might have been possible, because we have always, damn near
always, I should say, had an extended leather family around
us. When Jill first gave me away and that's a whole different
story, that's a very long story. And we bought our first
house together Jill and my Mistress shared the mortgage.
She had the downstairs apartment. Jill and I had the upstairs
apartment and there were no doors anywhere. Was it a poly
amorous situation? On some levels, yes. It's just that the
level is more agape than Eros. So could have happen? Maybe.
There's no way of really knowing. We make a certain amount
of jokes about Cougar because Jill and I have different taste
in women. God do we have different taste in women. As a
matter of fact, in about 23 or 24 years at that point, I
can honestly say that I don't think we have looked cross eyed
at the same woman. We go for very different types. It was
Power Surge 1996 which was a women's conference that happened
over Labor Day weekend, which by the way we chose Labor Day
weekend for Ms World. It was a way of honoring Power Surge
and trying to keep a woman's event on this weekend. Much to
both our surprise, we were staring at the same woman that was
a first, over two decades, that was a first. We found ourselves
laughing with, loving and teasing the same woman. When we
really stopped and thought about what we were doing we were
shocked. I looked at Jill and Jill looked at me and I said
"what part of her do you want?" and Jill said, "I want her
body" and I went oh thank god, I want her brains. (laughs)
So we chased her till she caught us. But I believe the
relationship has been stable because lets face it,
geometrically, the triangle is one of the sturdiest geometric
figures. It doesn't move. It simply keeps rolling because
all sides are equal. I would say that what has made ours
different from many, not all, but from many that have tried
is that we fell in love with Cougar and that Cougar fell in
love with us. She didn't come into the relationship for me
tolerating Jill; she didn't come into the relationship for
Jill tolerating me. Because sooner or later, that will lead
to an "us and them". It leads to a couple and one man out.
No matter how the things fall. We all fell in love with each
other. So very much like the triangle, all sides are equal.
And I think that's been its greatest strength. That doesn't
mean that there aren't times that we do want to kill each
other, that doesn't mean that there aren't problems. It just
means that with all sides equal, we work it out and we work
it out equally.
David:
Polyamory is a lifestyle that is being considered by many.
Some people pursue this relationship as far is structure is
concerned is through a hierarchy. Would that be the best way
to do it or would do structures vary?
Vi: I would say that there are a lot of different poly-
amorous patterns to follow. I personally don't believe that
any one is better than the other. My only concern is where
you call it one and you relate differently. There are
hierarchal structures in many households, there harems,
there are classic Mormon type structures where he's the head
of the house and he's got five or six wives and if it works
well, they all like each other. Some would even say they
would even love each other, if it doesn't work well; they are
going to kill each other. There are lots and lots and lots
of different types of poly-amorous relationships. They work
not because of the structure of the relationships, but because
of the power between the partners. We found the one that works
the best for us, but we came in as equals. There was no attempt
on anybody's part to favor one partner over the other. I confess
there are times when Jill and I use Cougar ping pong ball and
for us it's a hell of a lot of fun. Jill will say one thing,
which I will deliberately countermand just to watch Cougar go
"AAAAAAAAAAAA" (makes a face of exasperation) And then we all
laugh about it because she then sits there and goes "you two
figure it out" and then we all laugh and that's pretty much
the end of it. But that's also the fun of being in this type
of relationship. We cannot just love each other but we can
also play with each other. If you can't laugh and joke,
you're screwed to begin with. God has it been that long?
Jesus! I'm getting old David; I thought we did that about
two years ago. Oops!
David:
Yeah, as I was doing research, this interview just fell in
my lap. So I was curious to see how everything developed since then.
Vi: She was the best gift we gave each other. The
only one who held it against me was Marcus (Mr. Marcus).
David: Yes.
Vi: He will never forgive me, ever. And the funny thing is,
he blames me, not Jill. Jill is the saint that can do no wrong.
I'm the dirty dog that stole his daughter from San Francisco. I
don't get it. But I am the miserable one who took Queen Cougar,
who kidnapped I think is the term he used from the stage the other
day. Who kidnapped his daughter and whisked her away to never let
her do god only knows what. I'm the saint in the group. It's my
lie, I'll tell it any way I want.
David: Laughs.
Stephen Weber, Mr. Texas Leather 2002
Sixty-six contestants competed at the twenty-fourth annual International
Mr. Leather contest. After the dust settled Herb Kaylor, Mr. D.C. Eagle,
2002 was named 2nd runner-up; Boris Mosz, Mr. Leather Holland, 2002 was
named 1st Runner-up; and Stephen Weber, Mr. Texas Leather 2002 was
named International Mr. Leather. More Details to come.
I would also like to thank Jason Pelky, our state representative for doing
such a great job representing the great state of Oklahoma.
On Monday, the day after Annie Romano-Blas was chosen as the
first Miss World Leather, 2002 everyone was busy either packing
or sauntering around the courtyard after breakfast. I talked to
many people and asked their opinions about the contest. Everyone
pretty much felt very happy or satisfied with the way it was
conducted. After finishing my breakfast, I had the opportunity to
talk with Queen Cougar and get her thoughts about Ms. World Leather.
David: I was just wondering, where did the concept of
Ms. World Leather begin?
Queen Cougar: It actually began in the minds of a bunch
of different people, because so many of us had been involved in the title
circuit on different levels. Ultimately we came together at different
points and said, “Well, this is my complaint about how that was run”,
and “This is my complaint about my experience as a titleholder.” What
we kept trying to figure out was, how could a contest be staged that
would cut out some of that negativity. We wanted to achieve this without
getting into an “Us” versus “Them” type of situation. To leave personal
dynamics out, and just try to improve the current system of producing
titleholders. That’s how it was developed. Basically, what are all the
“bitch and gripes” that everyone has, and how can we address them. I’m
sure we didn’t touch on everything that has been an issue for most people,
but you can’t possibly please everybody and we felt that collectively most
of us had similar concerns.
David: Has the Ms. World Contest turned out the way that
you expected it would, or did it exceed your expectations?
Cougar: It exceeded our expectations. Of course, we always
wanted to have a packed event. Everyone wants to be successful in that
sense, because then you are financially successful. However it’s really more
important if people give you positive feedback and say they felt respected
and that is was a classy event. They all really felt interested in what we had
to offer. There are a few areas that need some punching up, and next year
they will be addressed. We really didn’t anticipate quite so many people
being interested in attending the Interviews, and the “Meet the Press”
segments. We thought there would be a limited number of people who might
have an interest in those areas but we would make it available nevertheless.
Well, it exceeded our expectations and it was also very enjoyable at the same
time. It was not a teeth clenching, gut wrenching type of situation at all! When
you do something for the very first time, you can never really be sure how it will
turn out. Well we are really proud that people gave us such positive feedback
that we feel as if we definitely exceeded our expectations.
David: Speaking of “Meet The Press” and also the open interviews,
those were two precedence that were set.
Cougar: Yes.
David: What I found amazing was that it was receptive, and it did
actually give everyone a chance to get a better look at the contestant.
Cougar: Right.
David: My question is, do you think this is an idea that could catch on?
Cougar: I think it’s an idea that should
catch on. Our community sets up a contest, gets a titleholder and usually
“after the fact” the titleholder finds out what the community really
expects from them. It’s usually “after the contest” that we find out the
new titleholder really cannot handle himself or herself in an interview
with a seasoned press person. It’s unfortunate that kind of thing is not
addressed in the contest process. That a person wears great outfit’s
well, and has a lovely entertaining fantasy does not mean that when the
chips are down, they will be able to handle things. The unspoken rule
is that the community would expect that of you. The future of leather
activism has to include titleholders who have the best credentials in any
given year for the job of defending our principles and articulating our needs..
David: It’s true. How much personal time has this event taken up?
Cougar: (laughs) I’ve been eating, drinking and sleeping
Ms. World. This year in addition to all the things we regularly do, on
our schedule, it has eaten up every other hour. There were times when
we’d just sit up and all be on overload! I would go into Vi or Jill’s room
and I’d say “I…I don’t have any more idea’s right now” and they would
say the same! We’d have to get out of the house…go to the movies to
chill out, because we were trying so hard to troubleshoot. You know, all
the area’s where there could possibly be some problems. We were trying
real hard to keep everybody else involved in the process; therefore we had
to keep in communication with people. It seemed every single day there
were emails, phone calls, letters to mail and endless trips to the Post Office.
So it was ongoing for sure!
David: How has your previous judging experience and your
involvement with contests, influenced what you’ve done with Ms. World?
Cougar: By basically taking from the experiences I’ve had,
the positives and the negatives. At this point in the game I believe I
understand what it is that people would like to see in contests. I
believe that we have an expectation of titleholders that is not crystal
clear to them from the very start. The contestant process for Ms. World
is very realistic. I’m sure it was difficult for the first women out to face the
press, and stand in a room with that many people and be interviewed openly.
It just seems to me that it had to happen eventually. We’ve all been
unsatisfied with the way that many titleholders’ years have panned out.
Rather than blame that on the individuals, it seemed important to try and
create some solution. It’s about being in the solution or being part of the
problem.
David: Yeah, One thing that does happen with titleholders is
that they spend the majority of their year getting their feet wet. That’s
when they find out what to do and how to do it. Then their title year is
almost over.
Cougar: Right. Then you look around and those are the ones,
like yourself, who you will see still out there, attending events, and still
being involved in the ways they have expertise. Other’s disappeared.
Now, not to be cold, but maybe some of those who disappeared really
were never qualified for the job at all, but they had the cutest presentation -
if you will- at the time they competed. And so, is it fair to bash them?
You will hear, where’s Miss So and So or what happened to Mr.
Whatever from this year? We may never see them again. Some never
had any intention of sticking around for the long haul. They don’t really
have the commitment of others. We don’t all have to be on the same level.
I used to think that I was not a political person. I never had any interest in
politics and I am still someone who’s not completely familiar with political
terms and such. Over the years however in my leather life, I’ve developed
into an activist based on what makes sense to me, and my desire to try and
do something, if I thought it would be helpful.
David: Has your expectation been changed in any way, as one of
the founding creators of Ms. World Leather?
Cougar: My expectations?
David: Well, considering what you expected when the whole
concept was initially conceived, and now. For example, next year-what
would you expect from the event itself and then also what expectations
do you foresee changing for the next contest?
Cougar: Well, I feel right now that my expectations were
pretty well met. I hoped that certain things would take off as an idea -
and they did. I hoped we’d get a titleholder with some experience
(I did not know all of the ladies beforehand) that we could feel comfortable
with and have confidence in. I feel pretty confident that indeed that
happened, and I feel that we can trust that what Annie says she will do,
she will make every attempt to do. So yes, I feel that our expectations -
my expectations were pretty much met. Now as to what’s going to
happen in the future…having worked the whole event, we’ve had meetings
earlier today, and yeah, there are little area’s where we want to make sure
we refocus our attention. Things were brought up, we got some input and
now we have to implement some changes. We just want to make it better.
As those area’s get covered, then I will rest easy. Thinking about all the
'changes we have heard about this morning in the meeting I am hoping that
we’ll find credible people and some viable options for what’s been proposed.
David: As contestant coordinator, you had the opportunity to
spend time with many of the contestants personally.
Cougar: Not as much time as I would have liked, actually.
David: Were there any experiences backstage that stood out?
Cougar: Well you see my official position was contestant
coordinator up until the contest. Then the contestants were turned over
to Paula Smith who was the contestant liaison onsite. Since I am also
the M.C. it was clear I wouldn’t be able to be available every aspect of
the contestants needs. The women came from all around the country
and hopefully next year they’ll come from around the world. I was in
contact with them by email and by letter. Several emailed me back and
forth with their concerns and needs. Others did not, and so I had to
believe once we’d given them the information they needed, they felt
reasonably prepared to come here and compete. So to answer your
question, not as much contact before the contest as most coordinators
might have if everyone were located in their area.
David: Now, I’m going to bring up something from the past.
Cougar: (laughs) Okay.
David: This is about an interview that you did in October
of 1997. I was just wondering, considering that the article dealt with
the nature of your relationship being a triad and not only that but
polyamorous. If you would reflect back to this article and today, would
there be any comments that you would like to make?
Cougar: Well, we’ve been under so much pressure lately
that the relationship hasn’t had as much nurturing, care and feeding
as we would like to have. We’re knee-deep involved in so many
community pursuits and especially with Ms. World added in that
we realize we need relationship time - there just isn’t room for it!
We all acknowledge that we need a vacation, but there just isn’t
money or time for that either. We love each other as much as we
ever have, but we have no time to focus on it. We are committed
to our marriage, our life together and all that it encompasses.
We’ve given several workshops lately about being in a “Triad.”
It’s a wonderful thing to find two other people to share love and
life with, but there is a lot that is learned in that process, and much
to know before you commit to it. Some people in our community
try to develop a “play” situation into a marriage when the
responsibilities are very different to each. People try to emulate
us, but they don’t fully understand the commitment that’s involved.
David: Actually communication is a lot bigger.
Cougar: Absolutely, communication is paramount.
Especially when there are many people in your lives. If we
were people who lived out in the backwoods, and only came
into town every now and then, we could be very cemented in
our relationship with little problem. There is a lot of outside
interference in our lives, because we are activists, involved in
everything!..The three of us each have our own level of charisma
and at any given time someone has a personal interest in one of us.
Our personal time is limited to say the least, but those “interests”
do create occasional issue’s to be dealt with.. People enter our
lives for a variety of reasons.
David: As far as polyamory is concerned, there are so
many approach’s, one being hierarchical and another related to honest
communication. Do you find that there is a standard or cookbook
approach, or do people play it by ear?
Cougar: The way that works for us is that Jill is the
head of our household. She is the breadwinner and she keeps us
together. Ultimately her word will settle all discussions. The good
news is that we all have input. We are in a “marriage” versus us
being her slaves or she being our dominant. She respects our
opinion, and she solicits our opinions. We certainly give them
freely! We came together with a recipe that we feel is the way that
these triads work best. Each person in the relationship is in love
with the other two. If someone comes in to be with one person
and willing to tolerate the other, it will never work. I fell in love
with Vi and Jill and was totally confused by that, never having been
in a triad before. They couldn’t believe that they had both found
the same woman attractive. They have had multiple relationships
within the framework of their relationship and marriage, but in all
those years (26 when we met) they had never found the same woman
attractive to each of them. We were all in a bit of shock about the
feelings we had for each other. For sure though they were not looking
for a third. So many people we talk to are actively campaigning to get a
third person into their relationship. In some of these cases I equate this
action to having a baby to try to save a troubled marriage. It never works.
David: The setting is 1996, explaining it to your father?
(Mr. Marcus)
Cougar: Oh God!
David: Considering that it was during Jill’s title year.
Cougar: Oh, that was a good one. I was a very active
leatherwoman in the San Francisco community. I got along with
all sides of the community. I enjoyed a good rapport with many of
the women and women’s clubs. There were many events in the
men’s bars. I love men and have always had them as my comrades
and confidants. I participated in many, many fundraisers for many
charities. As a woman who loves other women, I had no conflicts in
the various situations I found myself in. So I developed a base of
support in all the branches of the community. I don’t think I realized
quite how much until I said I was leaving. They threw a big party at
the SF Eagle for me and many people came out. So many wonderful
things were said about how I shared my time and energy with the
community. There was definitely a sadness that I was leaving, and
I believe that Mr. Marcus became even more protective of me as my
“Leather Daddy” after I packed to leave. We had connected often
before, but I believe he articulated best the void that the SF Leather
community would feel with my relocation. I was a woman of color,
clean and sober, a leather fetishist and a performer. Multi-faceted
people who communicate well with many others will always be missed
from any community they choose to leave. The good news is that in
the family life I have with Jill and Vi, we travel so much, that I’ve been
able to see “Daddy” quite frequently, and I get back to San Francisco for
visits at least three times per year.
David: Last question; one of the organizations that is
up and coming is “Welcome Home.” Where did that concept
come from?
Cougar: That’s Vi’s thing. Actually Jill and Vi for
many years have talked about the concept. They’ve been around for
so long, that the issue of retirement has come up. An experience I’d
like to mention was one we had in Atlanta, Georgia. We were talking
to Mister Puckett, an old guard leatherman and an icon of a man.
We observed the process of emotional agony and pain as he was
trying to make decisions about where he was going to retire. For
many leatherpeople the options are few in terms of retirement colonies
or homes where they can retain the self-respect they have enjoyed
throughout their lives. He was looking for a place to live with his
partner of many years. The places that were investigated insist that
no “offensive” items such as fetish artwork or any whip or toy that had
many years of memories connected to it, be displayed on walls or in the
rooms at all. Vi knew of a Master and slave whereupon entering a
nursing home, the Master was told to remove the collar from the slave’s
neck as it was completely unacceptable. This a collar that the slave had
worn for over three decades. We all broke down in tears listening to
Mr. Puckett, and thinking of these other people. We felt like something
has to happen to change this scenario, because many of us will not be in a
position to stay in our homes with the people we love around us with vast
retirement funds at our disposal for our care. We still will want to be
connected to our sense of community. We realize that if we don’t start
thinking collectively now about this, while we still have the health and
ability to put together a plan, we will be in the same position as those
people are now.
So the “Welcome Home” development corporation is trying to find a
location that would be good for our declining years, yet still be accessible
for the young and young at heart. They plan to include sites for
leather “runs” on the property, therefore encouraging a connection
between old and new leatherfolk. I think we are just working hard to
focus our dreams, and make them a reality. Think of leather fetish people;
leathercrafts people; leather vendors; pro domme’s etc. People who have
lived in the scene for many years, but perhaps may not have vast retirement
funds put away. Unless they have successfully played the stock market,
where will they retire? Can they go back to families - some who have
turned their backs on them years ago because of their chosen lifestyles?
They then risk being ridiculed for the choices they’ve lived and enjoyed.
That is the basis for where the idea of “Welcome Home” began. I feel that
“Welcome Home” is on its way just as “Ms. World” was. We can talk about
it, and talk about it, but until someone says “take my dollar, and I’ll give
you five hours of my time” it just couldn’t happen. It’s all about being
able to continue doing our thing, as long as we choose to in this life.
David: It’s interesting that the notion of community
that we now have, is going to be changed if this vision is realized.
Considering that people will actually be living together, amongst other
like-minded people, in the same lifestyle or in different variations of it.
Would you care to respond on that? Because this community it seems
like will no longer be a spiritual community - but a physical community.
Cougar: I probably don’t have as broad an answer as
Vi does, but I know that the way the community is being visualized,
people can buy a house or apartment and live in it, with or without
assisted living. They can also put down a trailer. There are a variety
of different levels being planned. I think in that sense it’s not being
planned as some tight knit group where you have to subscribe to a
particular frame of mind, to live in the community. It will be like a
safe haven for fetishists. and other like-minded persons. When you
have so many different people coming from so many different places,
I don’t think you can expect to all share the same interests or values.
A person could move into an apartment and ask to be left alone. As long
as they were alive and okay, there's no need to intrude on their space.
We might knock every two days if we didn’t see them, but in general
respect their desire for privacy.
David: As MC and one of the premiere MC’s in the leather
community, you have had the opportunity to see many leatherfolk,
bestowed many various titles. Initially when you see someone getting
sashed or getting their patches, is there an emotional experience for you -
since you’ve seen it so many times?
Cougar: On a local level I have watched some contestants
interact with people, talking and sharing. Then it can be a particular
thrill to watch them win, because you’ve already seen them in action.
Especially when it’s a higher level contest such as a regional or
international. There have been some people I didn’t know personally
before they competed and we have since become great friends. It’s
always a pleasant surprise to discover that they are really beautiful
individuals who have a lot on the ball and a lot to share. Viewing a
new titleholder being sashed can be really exciting. I have to say that
last night was such a thrill. When I finished saying my last “Thank You”
everyone as MC, I was actually crying. In a sense it felt like I had just
birthed a baby! Having spent so much time nurturing the Ms. World
contest all year, and viewing the finished product, I was just thrilled.
It felt as if everyone was loving and enjoying the results just as I was.
I couldn’t think of the naysayers at that moment, I just felt pure love.
I also felt a personal sense of accomplishment. I wanted to offer a level
of class and dignity to the women in the contest and hopefully for the
women’s title circuit in general. My dear friend Frank Nowicki had
elevated the art of emceeing for men, and his confidence in bringing me
to the IML stage in 1999 to share the MC duties with him, gave me the
desire to provide this level of class for my sisters. I believe that my goal
was accomplished last night.
David: Do you feel that it’s raised the bar? Do you feel that
it’s actually broadened the perspective of people and met their expectations?
Cougar: I know we’ve raised the bar! It won’t be easy to go
to regular contests, which have standard closed interviews anymore.
Not knowing where the scores went between interview and contest
time will become more suspicious. People will also begin to question -
Hey, I’m not comfortable being kept out of the interview process anymore.
People from some communities will want to see how their contestant
handled themselves. If interviews remain private, it may seem suspect
should any questions arise from the end results. I don’t think all contests
will automatically change, but in time I believe some of the innovations
the Ms. World event introduced will become implemented. Basically
the public will begin to question whenever they are being kept out of the loop.
David: Thank You!
Cougar: Thank you.
Topic: PRESS RELEASE
The 2002 International Ms Leather contest will be held during the weekend of July 26-28
in Omaha, Nebraska. Please join us for a weekend that is open to all, a weekend that’s
more than just a contest, it’s a total experience.
IMsL contestants are women representing all areas of the Leather/Fetish/BDSM community.
A panel of seven judges--a group usually more diverse than the contestants themselves--in five
categories scores them in: Interview, Speech, Fantasy, Attitude and Image. The Interview
score is the most heavily weighted, reflecting the role of IMsL as a spokesperson and advocate
for her community.
Although the contest is the core of the weekend’s activities, there are many other events planned.
A vendor area will run all weekend at the host hotel, with some of the best kinky wares available.
On Friday, a Press Conference is held to introduce the contestants and judges. The Basket
Auction that evening gives everyone a chance to bid on each contestant’s assortment of creative
delights (the “basket” is usually as creative as the contents), with the proceeds going toward
the winner’s travel fund.
On Saturday workshops are held, showcasing presenters from around the kinky world. The
contest itself is held early Saturday evening, from 6:00 to 10:00 pm, giving everyone a chance
to hit the town and party afterwards. Speaking of parties, the local leather clubs here in Omaha
are gearing up to show the visiting women, AND men, a great time.
On Sunday, the Victory Brunch will be held, the press will get a chance to interview the winners,
the vendor area will wrap up (shop late for the best deals!), and the staff will finally take a nap.
Full registration to include brunch for the weekend is $90. Registration without brunch is $75.
The host hotel is the Best Western Redick Plaza, located downtown near the “Old Market”
area and convenient to all IMsL venues. For reservations, call 1-888-342-5339 and mention
“International Ms. Leather” to receive the $75 room rate. Rooms are selling fast so book early.
Please note that traveling to Omaha is easy and affordable. We are centrally located and our
airport services every major airline except for Air Tran. We are also within 10 driving hours of
14 major cities, half way in between Chicago and Denver, just a tad North of Oz.
Contestant applications and registration forms are available. Our website,
www.imsl.org
Although the location of this year’s contest had previously been announced as San Jose,
a decision was made early this year to hold IMsL in Omaha from now on.
When the producer of the International Ms Leather Contest, Amy Marie Meek-DeJarlais,
first took over the production of the event in 1994, it was her mission to take IMsL to a different
city each year. This not only gave many more people the opportunity to attend IMsL, it enriched
the experience of the contestants, and it gave local volunteers a chance to help “host” the event.
Most importantly, in the years following, the cities where IMsL has taken place-Chicago,
Philadelphia, San Diego, Atlanta, Las Vegas, Toronto, and Dallas-have seen their women’s
leather communities grow in numbers and strength.
The producer and staff of IMsL are proud of what they have accomplished in the past eight years.
It was a difficult decision to “bring IMsL home,” but it is also a positive sign. With so many leather
communities flourishing around the world, there’s at least one, and usually a dozen, leather events
on any given weekend. This is a fantastic opportunity for kinky people to attend events locally
and regionally, but it puts a heavy financial burden on the larger events such as IMsL, which has
seen attendance numbers fall dramatically in the last two years. Moving the event to a Midwest
location made the most sense for the travel of the community as a whole, plus it made the producer’s
mom very happy. J
So, we’ll see you in July! Note next year- Omaha July 18-20.
Come to Omaha for a WILD time!
On the weekend of June 28 and 29, Jack Rinella (Leather columnist, and author of The Master’s Manual
and the Compleat Slave) will be coming to Oklahoma. The event will be produced by LiNK-Oklahoma.
All recognized clubs are able to RSVP: Tulsa Dungeon Society, National Leather Association -
Oklahoma City Chapter, Tulsa Uniform Leather Seekers Association and any other organization that has
a reciprocal agreement with LiNK- Oklahoma. All other organizations outside of the Oklahoma area
interested in coming may contact LiNK-Oklahoma at
The 1st South Central LeatherSir and boy contests happened on the weekend of May 17-18.
Four contestants vied for the Sir title and three contestants competed for the boy title. The
entire weekend was filled with fun, sexuality and of course a lot of leather. All of the men looked
great, their fantasies were excellent as well. One of the most memorable one’s that I saw was
boy tim’s who came skipping onto the stage (as a package delivery boy) to Mr. Roger’s
Neighborhood theme song. However something, of course went awry when be delivered
the package to Dan Acevedo, who proceeded to subdue boy tim and use very interesting
devices on him (can you say dildos and Crisco boys and girls? I knew that you could). The
fantasy ended with the music changing to “My Boyfriend’s Back” where Dan had to rush tim
out of the door. Once the scores were tallied, Stephen Scott was named first runner-up and
Dwayne Mitchell was chosen to be the 1st ever South Central LeatherSir. The winners of the
boy competition were, chad neal, Oklahoma Leatherboy, 2002 and boy tim was named as
South Central Leatheboy 2003. Dwayne and tim will compete and the International LeatherSir
and boy contests this Columbus Day weekend at the Sun Coast Resort (FL)..
The Judges for the contest was: Butch Arnold, Mr. Olympus Leather 2002; Ryan Goldner,
International Drummerboy 1998; Tim Stice, International Slave 1995; Ken Claude, Mr. Texas
Leather 1999; Brenton Kournegey, Beyond Vanilla’s Bootblack 2002; Boy shaun, second
runner-up to American Leatherboy, 2002; Gary Vandeventer, International Mr., Drummer
2001; and Mark Greene, International Drummerboy, 2001.
Jill Carter’s long awaited book was recently debuted at South Plains
Leather Fest and met with much success. It was written as an update,
“to remind the budding contestants that being a
titleholder requires preparation.”
“So You Want To Be a Titleholder” complements Guy Baldwin’s, “The
Leather Contest Book, A Handbook for Promoters, Contestants, Judges
and Titleholders” (published in 1993) as theformer addresses how to
prepare, what to expect and how to conduct one self during each phase
of the contest process and describes what a titleholder should expect
during their year as a titleholder. The latter looks at four aspects of the contest system:
how one should prepare for a leather contest and what one should expect
as a titleholder, the criteria for being a successful judge, how to
successfully promote a contest as well as promoters interacting with
titleholders. Guy Baldwin’s book is a comprehensive manual about the
four primary aspects of the contest circuit and Jill Carter’s book
focuses on the contestant and titleholder experience. This review
isn’t going to be a comparison of the two as much as it going to examine
what I see as the high points of Carter’s “So You Want to Be a Titleholder”.
Out of the entire contest circuit, Carter examines the stages that a
leather contestant must undergo when preparing and competing for a
leather contest. She outlines the circuits’ schedules from the local
contests to the major events in order to familiarize the readers with
each contests various objectives and what to expect when competing on
each level. Her personal insight as a judge, producer and an
international titleholder gives all prospective titleholders a realistic
view about how to prepare for a contest, what to expect as a titleholder
and how an individual should carry themselves before, during and after
a contest.
“So You Want To Be a Titleholder”, maps out for the potential contestant
the step-by-step process, which should be considered when running for a
title. From how to determine whether or not to run, to accepting the
title itself, the manual serves as a guide to assist in making pragmatic
decisions in order to prepare the future contestant.
The book begins with a realistic assessment of the prospective contestant’s
objective. (Why are they doing this?) It continues the assessment by
addressing factors such as weighing the pros and cons of being a titleholder
should one win. Questions such as, how will it affect your social life/
emotional stability, time, money and employment are discussed. These
issues compounded with personal reasons about why an individual may want
to compete for a title should be taken into consideration before competing.
On page four of her book, Carter warns the reader of the titleholder curse,
“By the end of your title year you will end up broke or without your lover-
possibly both,” which has happened to many titleholders.
The initial sections which address, the application, advanced preparation,
the meet and greet stress deal with initial topics that prospective
candidates should consider before the competition itself as many people
who plan on competing may spend little time on these aspects. The author
stresses the importance of filling out the application, giving accurate
information when filling them out and finally reading and comprehending
them, because the application may serve many purposes such as the judges
initial contact with the contestant may also be the titleholder’s contract.
The advanced preparation section stresses the importance of researching
one’s judges and interview preparation. This section brings up what the
author calls “tricky” questions or questions that are subjective designed
to see how the contestant will answer the question or to determine whether
the individual can give an answer with poise. It also provides caveats
such as not trying to fake answers if they are not known. The meet and
greet segment, stresses the importance of getting to know the judges
before hand and Carter also informs that this is also a portion of the
contest that many of the contestants don’t often take into consideration
when preparing. Overall, these three sections provide insight to initial
preparation and the research that a successful contestant generally does
when competing for a title.
The author also talks about situations that may occur and may be very
sensitive matters. She offers insight to possible situations that may
arise for contestants and titleholders. In addition, this section
provides the reader with the reality that scandals do exist and may
have a lasting effect on a contest or a titleholder if the situation
isn’t handled prudently.
The following sections entitled: "Just How Does Scoring Work; Dress
Protocol and Techniques; and The Leather Contest Circuit" gives the
prospective contestant a general idea about how various scoring systems
work, how to dress, how to behave; as well as a brief history and
schedule of the contest circuits. The section, which addresses scoring
informs one about the types of scoring systems used such as the Olympic
scoring system and the computerized scoring system developed by Tim Wong.
It also apprises the reader about contingencies such as ties and some of
the possible problems that may occur when contests are scored. The dress,
protocol and techniques section covers the appropriate attire for
contestants to wear during each part of the contest. A few of the
topics covered were, what is appropriate for Tops and bottoms to wear
and the appropriate way to remove covers or caps if the contestants
chooses to use them as a part of their leather attire. Protocol informs
the reader about the basic behaviors when entering a room during interviews,
addressing judges, sitting and standing. The last part of this section deals
primarily with techniques that contestants may use during the interviewing
process. These include, maintaining eye contact, not rushing through answers,
body language and making sure that one finds out an answer to a question that
isn’t answered during the interview. Lastly, the author gives a brief
overview about the contest circuits, their various systems and the process
of competing at a preliminary level all the way up to the international levels.
The previous sections of Jill Carter’s book give the reader a general
idea about what to expect before competing in addition to demystifying
any preconceived notions that one may have about contests themselves,
however, the following sections deal with the actual preparation itself
in addition to offering advice about how to successfully present oneself
during these categories. These include: Preparing for the Contest,
Fantasy, Speech Category and Stage Presence and Attitude. Aside from
research, the author also recommends physical conditioning, proper
dieting and choosing the appropriate clothing as well. The fantasy
portion stresses the importance that it must have a beginning, middle
and end and takes into consideration issues such as the fantasy’s
appropriateness. Logistics are also an important factor in this
category. Factors such as placements of candles and safety hazards
may significantly change a contestant’s score for the better or
worst. The main points discussed about the speech category are
its content, relevancy, eye contact, learning as opposed to
memorizing a speech, and rehearsing. The author believes that
this category is the second most important category, “because it
gives the audience an opportunity to see you and hear your thoughts
on any topic that you choose. It gives the audience (and the
judges) a chance to see how you come across to them-and there
will be plenty of them to face during your title year.” The
next section covering preparation is the jock strap/physique
category. It is the category of the contests that only the
men’s contests have as opposed to the women’s contest, which
substitute this with the fantasy category. Jill discusses
topics such as working on getting your body in physical shape,
getting apparel that will highlight the individual’s physical
attributes positively and presenting oneself with confidence.
Stage presence and attitude is the last section that discusses
contest preparation as well as offers tips on how to successfully
present oneself successfully on stage.
The final pages of the book cover “preparing to win and winning”,
“your title year” and “life after you step aside”. They offer
words of wisdom about how should a titleholder conduct themselves
during and after their title year.
In closing, I feel that “So you want to be a Titleholder” is a
book that every person should get if they are interested in
running for a title. It is easy reading as well as comprehensive
in content. This book also addresses those subtle nuances that
an aspiring contestant may not get a chance to learn. I also see
this book as well as Guy Baldwin’s book as providing a wider
breadth of information available for any contestant hopeful.
Despite bad weather, CWA and the local Baptist churches the
Mr. and Ms. Sooner State Leather contests were a success.
The contest began on April 19th with its meet and greet and
fetish ball. Bootblacking, hot leatherfolk and a star-
studded group of leather celebrities were in abundance at
this contest. From the judging panel to the list of
presenters and the NLA-OKC’s Tribal fire, the BDSM
educational event that took place in conjunction with
the Sooner State contest I do believe that Oklahoma,
for the first time, had the opportunity to take advantage
of the wealth of experience that was made available to
them. Some of the leather dignitaries present were: W
ayne Nesbitt (Mr. DC Eagle 1998), Jo Romano-Blas
(IMsL 2000), and Paksen (International Mr. Bootblack 2001).
There were four contestants for the mister contest:
Michael Warren, Richard Beavers, Mark Christensen and Daddy
Mikey. This year the contest producers, Ric Poston and
James Murray added the Ms. Sooner State Leather contest.
There were three contestants: Dee Beasley, Mera and Ms.
Julia
.
The contest Judges were: Jill Carter (International Ms.
Leather 1996), Viola Johnson (Oklahoma’s Leather Mom),
Annie Romano-Blas (Ms. World Leather 2001), Stephan
Mueller (International Mr. Leather 2001), Pat Baille
(International Ms. Leather 1995), Stephen Johnson
(Mr. Sooner State Leather 2001), Stephen Weber
(Mr. Texas Leather 2002) and Ed. Whittler
(Mr. South Plains Leather 2002). The MC was
Queen Cougar, the judges boy was chad neal
(Oklahoma Leatherboy 2002).
This year, the interviews were opened to the public;
in addition there was also a private interview as well.
Later that night, the miss contestants competed in a
fantasy image as opposed to participating in a fantasy.
The section allowed the women to express themselves creatively
in leather attire. During the short intermission, speeches
were given by Annie Blas, Joni Perrie (International Ms.
Leather 2001), and “SPO” (International Mr. Deaf Leather,
2001) about various causes such as Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis
and funding for certified sign language interpreters.
There was a nominal sum of money raised for Lupus, and
the certified sign interpreters that night.
Once the intermission was over, the winners were announced
for the Mr. and Ms. Contests and the Winners were Daddy
Mikey and Ms. Julia. Both contestants will be advancing
to Mr. and Ms. South Plains Leather in March of 2003.
It’s not uncommon for my wife and I to go for months without
playing. Having a family, and being involved in the leather
community is very difficult. My wife and I are board members
of LinK and TULSA respectively, I work, she goes to school,
we travel to other events, produce contests and the list goes on.
Many times we make play dates and we seldom keep them and on the
rare occasion we do play with each other it is very rare when
our minds are completely on the scene itself. After cool down,
many of the things I generally hear are, “there was a stray tail
that hit me in the wrong place”, “we didn’t spend enough time
warming up”, or “ I just couldn’t get in my space”. I had
become so self-conscious about this that I was always busy
worrying about every minute detail of play. While my wife
was getting more and more frustrated because she wasn’t able
to achieve bottom space. From the top point of view, the
scenes were technically fine, however something was definitely
wrong. Over time, we have had a few good scenes, but not the
mind-blowing type of Oh My Fucking God scenes. Just to digress
a bit, in the past, we could drive home from an event and arrive
at dawn, begin to play and get to bed by mid afternoon.
But things seemed to have definitely changed. We are parents,
activists in our community and have very busy personal lives
as well. So when we play there may be a tendency to take our
mundane business into our play space as well. I can recall
one particular scene when I was about to suspend my wife with
rope and I had to safe word because the energy just didn’t
feel right. When that happened, I personally felt that I
may not be fit to continue in this lifestyle. We were not
making a connection. I was personally frustrated. I wondered
why I could have successful scenes with other people, but I
could not with my wife.
We began to talk and it was usually about the same issues;
lack of personal time with each other. We tried various
things such as clearing our schedules, planning a date w
ith each other and it just seemed like we always had to
go to a meeting, be at an event or mentor someone. I
was becoming jealous because I didn’t see her as often
and she voiced her concerns about the same thing with me.
We were in a rut and at a roadblock in our relationship.
But this weekend we had a breakthrough. This time when
we played it was different. I began with corseting her
in the new corset. That activity was very intimate.
As I put it on her, we were communicating, but it was
also a power exchange experience. After I removed the
corset, I went for the ropes to bind her. When I put
the ropes on my wife to bind her, there was a definite
change in her behavior. It was very erotic and hot.
I then proceeded to flog her and then made love to her.
This time the energy was intense and passionate, just
like it used to be when we were dating. After it was
over, I held her and she began to cry. I asked her what
was wrong and she could not explain what was happening at
the moment. After a period of time when she could talk,
she explained to me what happened during the scene. She
said she experienced three types of spaces for each
activity. The rope made her feel sexy and she saw
able to see various shades of blue. When I did abrasion
play, she felt like a giggly little girl and saw white
lights and when she was being flogged, she felt primal
and animalistic. She described seeing gray on black
images of animals, and animal skulls getting clearer
when the intensity increased. Each activity, she felt
me with her every step of the way except for a moment,
when I moved a way to lie next to her. She then began
to cry because in her space I had dissipated and when
I came back to her, she held me tightly. We talked
about the scene to determine what made that one
different than the other ones. We both came to
the realization it was due to both of us leaving
all of our day-to-day responsibilities out of our
space and concentrating on each other completely.
On reflecting back on the past few years, I can say
that it is very easy to let the outside world consume
your personal life. I cannot say that I have found
the key to the secret of eternal joy as well. But I
have seemed to find a piece of myself that was somehow
lost quite some time ago.
Poem will appear in the upcoming book titled
“Pain”
By: David
There was more fun at this event than any human being is
entitled to have in one lifetime. Leather clad men and
women visiting each other in the lobby opposite of Southern
Baptists with table full of religious books, made a wonderful
contrast in appearance. It was obvious that the first group
was enjoying it much more than the second.
We attended "Whips-Beginner Class" (I do not have the schedule
in front of me, therefore I am making up the titles, but
description is the same). This seminar was presented by two
well known Whip Masters, Sebastian of Dallas and Travis Wilson
of Houston. They cracked the whips few times and made softer
jump out of her skin. She does not look that attractive out of
her skin. I gave both of these presenters our cards and
introduced TDS to them. Travis told us that if Kelly asked
him to come to Tulsa, he will be there tomorrow. Sebastian
told us that he would be very happy to travel to our event
as long as we pay only for gas and provide a place to crash.
He said he would buy his own meals. Of course, I explained to
both of them that TDS is probably the most reasonable dues-
friendly group in the entire universe. I believe after listening
to me about how close we stay below the poverty level, they
probably would donate some whips and stuff to us.
It was very interesting to hear the shattered noise of one myth
that you cannot play with someone unless you have practiced at
least a year or more. Travis contended that he can teach ANYBODY
how to crack a whip in 5 MINUTES. And that they can teach anybody
how to play safely in just a few sessions.
We have the privilege of attending two seminars presented by
Master Jim and slave marsha. The subjects were "Master/slave,
\Dom/sub relationship; Spirituality and the Calling" The
interaction between these two fine people were so beautiful
that it is difficult to describe.
They referred to their journey in this Master/slave relationship
as their "calling" and equated this to almost a religious path.
The discussion about the spirituality and M/s was of such impact
that it made every person in attendance to pause and turn inward.
There was only one chair for the presenters.
It was mesmerizing to hear the words from the mouths of two
practitioners of 24/7 Master/slave about the total control,
total surrender, total responsibility, total obedience and
total understanding of Master and his slave.
It was interesting to notice how many factors were common
between marsha and softer beside the hair. Softer told that
to Marsha. But I am too lazy to be like Master Jim. It was
overwhelming to hear him talk about the ultimate
responsibility of owning another human being.
We met them and shook hands with them. It was really amazing
to see them both in real time and witness their interaction
at such a close range. It dispelled a book-version myth of
slavery and ownership. It did not diminish their stature, it
enhanced it.
While softer went to volunteer to the "Caning" class presented
by Mistress Nona, who was probably the funniest person, second
to Nikkie of NLA-OKC, I went to attend "Genitorture" class given
by Monica Glass and her owner Sharrin Specter. I found out a
good use of Crazy Glue (one bead only!). Their luggage took a
scenic route to Minnesota so they could not display their
wicked toys. (Luggage handler must be Rory's kin) They
showed how to find stuff free or very cheap to use in
genitorture.
Monica Glass and her owner Sharrin Specter knew what they were
talking about. They obtained free toothbrush from Hilton for
Abrasion Play. Monica drew a big picture of area of interest
and I found out what the hell was urethra! No wonder women
are so complicated.
I introduced myself, but they both looked dangerous, therefore
I did not hang around much.
We attended the "Electricity Play" presented by one and only
Uncle Abdul. And believe me, if I had put a turban on him, he
would have looked exactly like my uncle Abdul living in the
tent and looking lovingly upon his favorite she-camel.
This seminar was very informative. Uncle Abdul is Electrical
Engineer that is the reason he got interested in electrical
play in the first place. Divinity lost a chance to make a
quick $20. And we are not talking about turning a trick here.
We all looked at Uncle Abdul's 9-inch meat. And we all blew
through a big straw and a small straw to prove his point.
He talked about violet wands, tens unit and some other
contraption. I heard the noise of, not one, but two, shattered
myths. His contention was, and he proved both of them by
experiment, that no matter where you place electrode of
tens unit on your body, current is going to affect your
heart. The second was that even violet wands are going
to affect your heart because electrical charge will pass
through your body regardless what you have been told that
it will only dance on your skin. Rory may have to redo
his lecture and demo at next Dom meeting.
I did notice that Uncle Abdul does speak like Rory, but
he does conclude his views in much shorter time. Our own
Kelly was the "demoee" for Uncle Abdul's seminar. It was
a provocative demonstration of tens unit on her arm and
its subsequent result on her fingers.
We also attended "Branding" seminar given by Sharrin
Specter and Monica Glass. “Demoee” was one of the original
founder of TDS, Leigha Fleming. This seminar was very
informative. I shall learn more about it. I shall practice
this art. Any volunteers??
This time we I did meet both of them and talked with them
in little more detail. It was fun.
Our much-admired friend, who is well known to TDS, Lynette
presented a seminar, with lamb's assistance titled "Goddess
to Governess". It was a very interesting subject and of
course, geared towards women who wants to be Goddess to
men (or other women) down to Governess etc. My
“submisstress” dragged me to this one. I was hesitant
until Lynette asked me if I was going to stay or what,
and all I could say was "yes ma'am" and sat down.
It was interesting to get a glimpse into the male submissive
mind through the explanation of lamb, who belongs to Lynette.
We enjoyed visiting them afterwards and emphasized our
standing invitation to any and all of our TDS events,
sponsored or not.
We also participated in the "Blessing Ceremony" of the event.
It consisted of a Native American dance performed by lovely
Jo Romano-Blas. The music and the dance were captivating.
Ancient Indian music seems to have this mystical ability
to take you in some other plane. There was a circle of
about 50 people holding hands and transfixed on the dance,
candles and music.
1. Describe the social and the political climate in your local areas.
To me ( prior to winning the title) the social climate, in OKC,
was pretty dark, cloudy, and dreary. Not much visible leather/kink
interest, at least where I was hanging out, except among close
friends. I had not much hope of experiencing, the joys and
fulfillment, Leather sex, and, or BDSM play, unless some willing
victim lingered through here at the Habanna inn, and fell pray.
Things in OKC may have not much changed, but since my winning
the title my attitude, has turned and I'm hopeful, and willing
to do what I can to improve awareness.
About the political climate, well that has always been a touch
and go situation for me, as politics can be for most. I have
MY opinion about the way things should go or be ran. I tend
to be more of a worker/follower, that helps me keep my nerves
and opinion in check. I wish this arena was more focus on
getting along, and PLAY. Not so much on Ego's and control.
2. How did you find the leather lifestyle?
I embraced the leather lifestyle in the spring of 1989. I had
been aware of it and somewhat intrigued since the early 70's,
but was intimidated, and also at times repulsed by what I
thought was practiced. ( I was in kink denial ) I went to
the then Ripcord in Dallas, to party on weekend, and I must
have had an open mind. The smells, the attitude, the look
of leather men in harnesses, the butchness,,,, THE MEN !
When I got back to OKC, I went straight to Joe Angle (
my mentor/ Daddy ) and had him make me two armbands
and a studded belt. That's where it started, I'm still
on this journey, I have found my way home, and MY tribe,
and where I belong. I live in acceptance of most all things,
and finally have embraced sanity.
3. What is your platform and do you have a plan to carry it out?
My platform is mentoring, with an interest in a resurgence
on thru Old Guard mentality. The way I plan to carry this out,
is through workshops, and 1 on 1 talks, e-mails and more research.
4. What kind of work have you done in the community so far?
My work in the community. Well in a sense has been limited. But in
the aspect of Test Gear, I have done much over the years. I have
given leather away, and donated leather for Leather events, and
that dose, and will continue.
5. Since you are about the to compete in a regional contest,
do you think that the focus your platform will change? If so, how?
I don't think the real focus of my platform will change at all.
I am passionate about my commitment to the Leather lifestyle, and
I'm thrilled every time I get to share my experiences with cur
ious 1st timers.
6. Considering that the LeatherSir and boy title system is
very new, were there any instances of you having to explain to ]
people what it is and where it came from.
Not much. Most people I have talked to seem to know, that
it was the former Drummer title, and some have told me their
version of what they think happen.
7. Have you had any interesting experiences as titleholders so far?
My most interesting experiences I have had since I won
the title of Mr. Oklahoma Leather 2002, is the numbers of
people that know, and have embraced me as a significant
part of the Oklahoma Leather community. Again I have
become more hopeful.
8. After you step aside from your respective titles what legacy would you like to leave?
When I step down from my respective title, I don't plan
to leave a legacy,,,,, I WILL continue! My legacy hopefully
will expand thru the next titleholder. We are a TRIBE. We are
family. To me it's all about raising Healthy, well balanced,
self-accepting young Leathermen and women. My work and efforts
will continue.
9. What is your definition of a Daddy/boy?
A Daddy is a mentor, a guild, a teacher, a leader, and a nurturer. He shows his boy the way to Sane maturity, self-acceptance emotional balance and good self esteem
1. Describe the social and the political climate in your local areas.
I would characterize the social and political climate in
Oklahoma as conservative. There are still sodomy laws in
this state. More specific to the political system closest
to me would be university (OSU). Again the policies are
conservative, same sex "married" housing is not available
and there are no same sex benefits. Also there is no
statement in the anti-discrimination policy protecting
any alternative sexuality. I would say that the student
affairs division of the university is open and gay affirming.
There is a safe zone, which is a program for gay and lesbian
students so that they will know who is gay supportive and
who isn’t.
2. How did you find the leather lifestyle?
My first venture into the leather lifestyle started online.
I chatted with a Dom who answered a lot of questions (and
created even more) for me. I was impressed by how patient
he was in talking with me.
I made my first live contacts with the leather community
at the 1999 Tulsa Pride festival. Well aside from a trip
to the Dixie Bell in Kansas City, but I didn’t meet anybody
there. I met Randal Kinnear, who again answered a great
deal of my questions. He agreed to come to OSU to give
a talk to the gay student group which I was the president
of at the time.
A major turning point was my first leather experience
with Daddy R. He agreed to mentor me into the lifestyle
and has become my dearest friend. He has impressed upon
'me the need to teach others and give back to the community
as much as possible.
3. What is your platform and do you have a plan to carry it out?
My platform for my title is to increase boy awareness.
The voices of all boys, male and female need to be heard.
We are an important and necessary part of the leather c
ommunity. I am going to give, and have given, talks to
various groups about what is means to be a leather person
and what it means to be a boy. Something I intend to do
is to create some space for boys and subs to get together
as peers. I’ve talked to lots of people who are curious
about the leather lifestyle and are afraid to approach a
nybody. I make a good stereotype breaker for those who
are curious because i don’t fit the mental image of a
big scary tough leather man. I want to use my title to
educate people.
4. What kind of work have you done in the community so far?
Fundraising is important to me. I have raised money for
TULSA, OGRA, Team OK (the gay volleyball team), and others.
The cash money I have raised just by polishing boots and
selling 50/50 tickets has been over $500 in the past four
or five months.
I have spoken to several college student organizations
about the leather lifestyle.
5. Since you are about the to compete in a regional
contest, do you think that the focus your platform will
change? If so, how?
Competing in the regional contest has made me think beyond
the local leather community. This new level of competition
has given me the focus to see that boy education and awareness
are things that i am invested in and will work for.
6. Considering that the LeatherSir and boy title system is
very new, were there any instances of you having to explain to
people what it is and where it came from.
Its funny, a lot of the people that i have run into know nothing
or very little about leather. so i have had to explain to people
what leather is all about rather than explain the specific title.
7. Have you had any interesting experiences as titleholders
so far?
In connection with the last question. It was interesting telling
my faculty and classmates about this competition. I was studying
in the student lounge, specifically the hanky codes, and that lead
into a whole discussion about leather. They have been supportive
but I don’t think they know quite what to think of me as a "leather
boy".
8. After you step aside from your respective titles what legacy
would you like to leave?
My charity that I am donating my proceeds to is the Pyramid Project.
It is a fundraising campaign to build a permanent autonomous building
for the gay lesbian community center in Tulsa. I hope to raise enough
money to have my name and title "Oklahoma Leather boy" as one of the
"founders" so that there will be a permanent record that the leather
community is concerned about the community at large. That sends a
message that we are compassionate and are part of the community at
large.
9. What is your definition of a Daddy/boy?
If i was to distill what a Daddy is to me, it would be a man
that i feel safe with. the feeling of security is the most
important part of being a Daddy. Daddy's for me, may push
my limits, teach me something new but anyone that I have c
alled or ever will call a Daddy gives me a feeling of
protection.
I consider myself very New Guard. New Guard for me is
about flexibility. I don’t see much of anything as
black or white, but rather as shades of grey. In
line with that dominance and submission are not
either / or, we all have some of both and could
place ourselves between totally dominant and c
ompletely submissive. I enjoy being sexually
submissive, but submission ends in the bedroom
for me. Me education and training as a psychologist
as made me an independent thinker so being in a full
time relationship where I am submissive all the time
probably wouldn’t work. The part of submission that
does resonate with me is the aspect of service,
specifically service to the community. Therefore,
the word I use to describe myself as a boy is servant.
10. Have there been any significant boys in the local
or national community that have inspired you? If so who?
Heart of America Leatherboy Brain really inspired me when
he came to Tulsa. He called me his brother and the notion
of all other leather boys as my brother left a powerful
impact on me and how i will conduct myself in the future.
by Suzie Marie
Dear Readers,
In my previous issue when I discussed the Tulsa Leather Weekend.
I made a mistake with the information. The report I gave about
the cutting demo was conceived and presented by Suzie Marie.
The event took place at the Tulsa Gay Pride center on Saturday
March 16th and lasted from 3PM to approximately 8PM. Suzie
gave an informative discussion about cutting and piercing
beginning it with an in-depth overview about safety. She
then proceeded to the demo, which included extensive
explanations about cutting techniques. At the close
of the demo, Suzie had people cut the surfaces of the
tomatoes for the hands on segment. Overall, everyone
had a great time and enjoyed themselves tremendously.
Published by Mystic Rose Books
Please come join our Oklahoma Titleholders for a Send
off party. Oklahoma Mr. Leather 2002 will be competing
at International Mr. Leather in Chicago on Memorial Day
weekend; Dwayne Mitchell and Chad Neal will be competing
at South Central LeatherSir and Leatherboy contest in
Dallas, Texas on May 18, 2002. The party will be at
CW’s, on Saturday, May 11, 2002. It will start at 9PM
and end at 12:30AM. The address is 1737 S Memorial Dr.
in Tulsa Oklahoma. There will be a drawing for a DVD/VCR
player, auctions, bootblacking, dancing and a 50/50 drawing.
Featured guests will be: Jason Pelky, OML2002; Dwayne
Mitchell, OLS2002; Chad Neal, Olb, 2002; Reba Lynn; Richie
Johnson, Mr. Tulsa Leather 2002; Daddy Mikey, Mr. Sooner
State Leather 2002; Randal Kinnear, Gulf Coast Mr. Drummer
2000.
There will be a fundraiser on Friday May 31, 2002 and
Saturday June 1, 2002 for Joni Perrie’s, (IMsL 2001) and
Butch Arnold’s, (Mr. Olympus Leather 2002) travel fund.
It will take place at the Phoenix Bar on Friday and
Cowpokes on Saturday. The Phoenix is located on 941
Elysian Fields, New Orleans, Louisiana and Cowpokes is
located on 2241 St. Claude, New Orleans, Louisiana as
well. For further information about the event please
contact Butch Arnold at MrOlympusLthr02@aol.com
Normally I preface my post with the words" this is my opinion and only
my opinion" but this post is so serious to me that I feel I would cheapen
it by adding that phrase. This post is how I feel and I will remember,
protect and cherish these feelings forever.
*********************************
Having always known the deep significance and absoluteness of cutting,
blood print and blood bonding I found myself very much enjoying the event
this past weekend. I was more than honored when my wife offered herself
to be cut with a design of my choosing. It did not take long for me to
come up with a design that emphasized my understanding of how intensively
important the cutting was going to be and to memorialize and honor the
impact of her cutting.
At one point during
her cutting I was standing in front of her to allow her to feel and see
that she was safe since cutting can be incredibly invasive. I got to stare
deep into her eyes and for a fraction of a second I glimpsed her soul. She
opened up a place I had not seen in quite some time and it was incredible
for complete lack of a better word.
After the event I had to go to work and did not see my Precious One until
the next day and when I got home I could sense something different between
us. There was an odd nagging sensation but since I could not put my finger
on it I decided to try and figure it out later.
After much urging from the woman who did the cutting on Remy I relented and
decided to face not only one of my biggest fears, which is being cut, but to
also feel what I saw in my wife's eyes the previous night. I cannot explain
the cutting except to say that it was almost too intense for me to bear. It
was not more pain that I can handle, in fact the pain was quite manageable,
it was something more....something different. It was not anything that I
could explain with words because to me it was something ominous and enthralling.
So intense were the feelings that I almost asked, begged, pleaded for her to
stop the cutting but for some strange reason I did not. Daddy Kevin, being the
incredible friend that he is, stroked my head and neck and allowed me to press
my face to his stomach, which had a wonderful calming effect. Remy then switched
him places and while cradling my head to her chest when the cutting was in its
last stages it happened.
I could not control the intensity any longer and I begin to weep. So strange were
the emotions and sensation that I could not even call it crying because I felt as
if no tears were flowing forth yet.... I wept. I tried to stymie the crying but
could feel my wife's tears on my cheek and began to cry even harder. I almost felt
as if I was betraying myself by crying, by not sitting up stoically and taking this
cutting. I felt as if I was doing something that is against my very nature but
pursued it anyway.
When Remy pulled away from me is when I felt the tears making their way down my
cheeks and falling to the floor in droplets that numbered to many to count. Everyone
that was present cleared the room as if there were an unwritten rule of etiquette
that allowed no one else to be present for fear of chasing away the bonding like
the light chases away the darkness.
I looked into my wife's eyes and I assume she was seeing the same thing I saw
briefly the day before because at that moment we both cried together and held
each other as if we had not seen one another for months or years. It took me a
full 24 hours to realize the reason for me crying was because I had once again
bonded with my wife in a manner I had not remembered in some time and honestly
never remembered it being so encompassing. I was crying from joy in as much as
facing my fears of knives and fear of myself.
The scariest beast or challenge a person can face is themselves and I did it.
I have done it before and have felt good after the challenge, but this time it
was deeper, more emotional and more rewarding. Getting a cutting will not be the
right thing for everyone as it was for me but the importance is the same
nonetheless.
To understand what it means to have a blood bond and a blood print is to know
that it is more serious and important than wedding vows. It even trumps the
pact made between Master/slave, Dominant/submissive because of its spiritual
significance. It crosses all categories and lines with complete oblivious
awareness for gender, titles and station.
It is in effect the most sacred bond a person can make and we did it this
weekend. I feel forever changed from that one cutting and will explore it
further in the future. I will forever honor and even frame the blood print
my wife presented me with. I will forever honor the meaning behind receiving
a cutting and I will forever cherish the moment my wife's and my souls locked
hands again.
Sincerely,
The Tulsa Leather Weekend kicked off on Friday, March 15 at CW’s with a
military ball. Hot men in uniform were in abundance. The military ball
also served as a meet and greet for the Mr. Tulsa Leather 2003 contest
which was moved from September to March. There were also a few other
changes. The Mr. Tulsa Leather contest is also under new ownership.
Former contest owner, Ron Greenwood passed the torch to Randy Wheeler
in the fall of 2001.
The Tulsa Leather Weekend had other activities as well. There was a
cutting and piercing demonstration by Susan and Cindy Bookout (IMsL 1994).
The demo was promoted by The Tulsa Dungeon society. Sir Ron of TDS
organized it. The demonstration was well attended and very informative.
There were four contestants: Robert Beavers, Richie Johnson, Chris (Pony)
McGill and William vied for the honor to be Mr. Tulsa Leather 2003.
The contest had a record attendance and CW’s was packed. Leather dignitaries
came from as far as Kansas City. Among those in attendance were: the newly
sashed Heart of America Leatherboy Brian Rochon; Mr. Missouri Leather 2001,
Sam Sampson; Chad Neal, Oklahoma Leatherboy 2002; and Oklahoma Mr. Leather
2001 Jim Stout.
The Judges were, Jason Pelky (OML 2002, Head Judge and auctioneer), Ric Poston,
Mr. OGRA 2002 and producer of the Mr. Sooner State Leather contest), Ed Smith,
(noted leather man and a founding member of the Discipline Corps), Chris Haggard
(the outgoing Mr. Tulsa Leather), Mark Goines (Mr. Tulsa Leather 2001) and
David (Oklahoma Mr. Leather 2000).
The contestants all looked great and gave it their all, but when the scores
were tallied, Robert Beavers was first runner-up and Richie Johnson was sashed
as Mr. Tulsa Leather 2003. I would like to congratulate Randy Wheeler on a
successful event and Chris Haggard for his work as Mr. Tulsa Leather 2002.
Richie Johnson will compete in the Oklahoma Mr. Leather 2003 contest in
October 2002.
On March 15, 2002, the members of People Exchanging Power-Oklahoma voted
by popular acclamation to change the group’s name to LiNK which stands
for Leather in Kink. The discussions for a suitable name had been in
negotiations for quite some time and it was settled at the members munch.
For some of the founding members of the group it is a significant step as
the name PEP-OK holds fond memories. As for me personally, I remember
being at the inaugural meeting in April of 1999 where everyone diligently
searched for a name that would represent the group.
In the past few years, LiNK (PEP-OK) has evolved from a fetish group with
a primary focus on providing education and a place for its members to play
to a group that is active in the leather and fetish communities. They have
volunteered at many events, sponsored several titleholders, helped to raise
monies for local and national causes, hosted educational events and had
several of its members give seminars at events such as Oklahoma Mr. Leather,
South Plains Leatherfest and Mr. Sooner State Leather. Good luck on the
new name.
(Ms. World 2001)
Sunday approximately noon, interview with Viola Johnson
David: We’re going to talk a little bit about Ms World, but mainly
about 'Welcome Home' if that’s ok.
Vi: You betcha
Vi: Every titleholder that Jill and I have known, including
Jill, by the way, has finished their title year. You know they’ve “detoxed”
and its 6 months to a year later they’re going “gee I wish I had…” or “I wish
I wish I had done…” And it’s not something you know in your title year. You
will spend your year learning the politics of the circuit, figuring how to
get mic time, learning who the people are in the community that can help you
with future projects. You’ll learn so much and experience so many wonderful
things. But by the time you figure all of it out, you’re usually somewhere
in between 8 and 12 weeks from stepping down. Then you get to turn around
after you’ve gotten your feet back under you and suddenly there’s a regret.
Its not a big regret, its not a bad regret, but there is a regret there. “I
had the ear of the world. They all listen to for one year. Why didn’t I say,"
(and then you get to fill in the blank). Only experience will teach you that.
I couldn’t teach that to you before you became a titleholder, there is no way
to explain it. What we wanted to do with women because men’s organizations,
groups, charities, causes and concerns have voices---What we wanted to do with
women was to take the woman who has already been the American Leather woman
three, four, five years ago. To take the women who has already been IMsL
three, four, five years ago or Ms. South Plains or Ms. whatever and take the
experiences that she has had, take all of the wonderful things that she has
learned and take the work she’s doing and has been doing in her community and
give her a voice for that “god I wish I had”. And so we geared this contest
to the older leather woman. Not just older chronologically, but older in
experience.
The woman who has already been out seven, ten or even twelve years. The woman
who doesn’t believe she can compete anywhere, because she’s too old and give
her a voice and an arena, for something she believes in which is why there is
no fantasy. Fantasies are good for the young ones. It helps shows where her
imagination goes. But a woman who has been out for ten years doesn’t need it.
She should already know where her imagination goes. To give that woman a voice
for what she believes she believes is important. That’s how it happened when
I heard Jill and Jill came out of the gate with a goal. This was what she
wanted to accomplish. And even when her title year was done she kept going
“god I wish I had done more”. Why not give that woman a way to do more?
David: Has Ms. World turned out the way you expected it to be
Overall..?
Vi: Yes, so we have some serious competition and this is the first
one out. Why go to the first when you can go to more established events
“If it survives, I’ll go next year” is a lot of the attitude. But I think
we have changed the standard for women. And I honestly believe that there
are a whole lot of 40, 50 and maybe even 60 year old leather women. Who are
going, “maybe there is something for me after all”. So its been better
than we ever dreamed it would be.
David: How much personal time has the contest taken up?
Vi: (Laughs) it has eaten the last 6 months of my life. Actually,
that’s not fair, it has eaten that last four months pretty consistently not
to mention a healthy portion of my wallet.
David: How has your previous judging and contest producing ]
experience influenced what you have done with Ms World?
Vi: Actually, we have collectively…the only one on this board with
serious experience producing a contest is Mark. Jill and I have been helping
T.U.L.S.A. for ten years. But it’s a different scope, it's meant to be a lot
more local and state focused versus something on this scale. So we’re not
even babies crawling, we’re neonates coming out of the womb. Of the entire
board, the only one with producing experience has been Mark.
David: As a judge, what do you expect from a titleholder and as a
producer has your expectations changed?
Vi: Let’s take this one in bits and pieces. What I expect from a
titleholder depends on the age of the titleholder and the contest they are
coming out of. On the local level, I expect a lot of consciousness raising.
I understand that it’s easier to preach to the choir then it is to go and
stand out and talk to the heathen so to speak. But I expect the young
titleholder not just to be in the bar or at the local pride parade.
Whether it be a pride parade for gays or for sexual freedom. I also
expect to see that local titleholder at a fundraiser for cancer or at
the local lions club leading a toy drive. Because that’s the kind of
awareness that will not only bring someone who is in the leather closet
out. Because “wait a minute, I don’t just have to be in a bar. I can do
a food drive, I can collect money for Toys for Tots, I can lead a motorcycle
run and collect blankets for the needy”. That’s what I expect my titleholder
to be, especially on the local level. Because his or her job is to be the
shining example of the leather knight in armor whether that be male or female
to the rest of the community. Not to the men and women in leather…we already
know who you are, we already know what you’ve done. The world however doesn’t.
So go put in 15 hours passing out leaflets for breast cancer awareness in your
sash. Go stand for the politician you believe in and pass out fliers in your
sash. Rally the community to give money to someone whose going to help this
community in your sash. That’s what I expect from a titleholder. And that
scope only broadens as the title takes on state, regional and the national
level. So I confess I have a very different perspective. There’s more to
it than just perpetuating the contest circuit. There’s a lot that can be
done. I suppose that’s partially why I am so proud of these nine women.
They’ve been kicking ass in their own community for years and they kicked
ass yesterday. They showed their concerns and their worries. When Annie
Romano stood on that stage and said “I know somebody with Lupus and so do
you”.. The hairs on my arms stood on end and that’s what I expected.
When Mindy talked about the love affair that the NCSF is building with the
city of Baltimore in terms of changing its laws my hair stood on end,
because that’s what I expect. I expect a lot from this younger generation,
as well as from the mentors who are guiding them. We’ve got to stop
preaching to the choir. There’s a big world out there that we can change
and more importantly there are an awful lot of people who are kinkier than
they have ever realized who are afraid to come out.
David: We were discussing, as a Judge what do you expect from a
titleholder and as a producer has your expectations changed?
Vi: They’ve broaden, but they haven’t really changed. Like I said,
David so much is relative to the contest itself. Is it meant to stir to
local heart, is it meant to raise state awareness. What is the contest
meant to do?. The titleholder needs to remember the original intention of
the promoter. But the one thing you cannot teach a titleholder that they
have to learn for themselves is that they (have - ed.) a platform to stand
on. They can use it or not. Most don’t realize that they have this great
big platform, because they have this captive audience to speak to, to teach,
to guide and to motivate. And if they do it right, if we help them more as
promoters by going “ Ms. So and So is here, would you like a little mike
time?” Rather than forcing the titleholder to ask for mic time, maybe we
can get titleholders more focused on using the mic to carry the message.
And I confess that I am more focused on that now. Give them the mic find
the people who have the message and give them the platform to say it on.
David: And since they’ve been there, they have more experience
about how to go about it.
Vi: Yeah
David: Ms. World has set a precedent with the open interviews.
It was tried out at South Plains and all of the kinks out so to speak, no
pun intended.
Vi: God bless our promoter. Because we have talked out the idea of
throwing those interviews open. I’ve never liked closed interviews, because
people don’t know why someone one won or lost and more often than not they
don’t understand why the front runner is the front runner. And when we first
talked about this with Jill, Mark and myself opening up the interviews, Mark
said that he’d do it with South Plains and see how it would work to try and
get the bugs out of it and so on and so forth. So we can come here with a
little bit of experience under our belt in terms of what response would be.
It's just, if I had to lay a bet on the reaction to the open interviews, I’d
have lost big time. I expected the press to be in the interview and two or
three curious onlookers and maybe ten fans of each of the contestants. I
never expected to see more than twenty people in that interview. I’d have
bet on it. Between the poster sessions going on, between all of the parties
and the option of going down to the women’s museum…twenty people tops plus
the judges. When I turned around or interview number seven and there were
over a 100 people in the room, I was floored. I never was expecting that.
So whether or not it’s the people solving their curiosity about what the
interview is like or whether or not they’re curious because this is a
different interview process. (Whether -ed.) These women have to come in
with a message and the people in the audience wanted not just the interview
but hear the message, I’ll never know. But I’ll tell ya, I was bowled over
when I looked at the amount of the people in the room.
David: Since 1979 and prior to that with the smaller runs, it was
a big mystery what happened behind those closed doors and bringing that out
in the open, I feel may change the perspective of interviews and it may change
the expectations of the people coming to these events.
Vi: Hopefully, Hopefully it’ll change..you know I’ve heard so much
about “raising the bar” and I don’t think that is fair. Changing it, yeah.
It’ll change the expectations, not just of the titleholders or the young
ones coming in for the titles, but it will also change the expectations of
those who prepare them for the title. I expect you to know your history but
I also expect you to have a heart and I want to see it in your interview.
David: "Welcome Home"; initially, where did the concept of
Welcome Home begin?
Vi: God it must have begun an easy 20 years ago, make that 25 years
ago. As we were young leather women and we were taken under the wing of so
many wonderful people, who at the time were much much older than we were.
We made jokes about everyone getting together and buying 100 acres and
letting the slaves run naked in the woods. Well at the time, I would have
been one of the slaves running naked through the woods. And that was fine
and that was fun and it was a joke. About fifteen years ago I lost a leather
son that I adored. And I watched him die in a VA hospital before the doctors
and nurses who could feed him because they wouldn’t touch him. (crying) And
the men of TULSA and the women of TULSA took turns at the VA hospital in
Muskogee feeding him and loving him. Imagine a room longer than this (the
measurement of a long hall with a hospital bed) with your bed at one end and
the door at the other. And you’re wired to your bed with the tubes and the
ropes, and they would put his food inside the door and then three hours they
would come and take it away. I’m sorry David. (in tears)
David: That’s inhuman.
Vi: He was getting skinnier and skinnier and skinnier. Until we
figured out what was happening and it took us about a week, and we started
taking turns going down to feed that cowboy. And he started, I mean his HIV
status was discovered very very late, but I believe he died of neglect, not
of AIDS. and it killed me to bury him it absolutely killed me. And all I
could think of, if there were any other people, if he would have been in a
leather hospice instead of a place where people were afraid to even look at
him or come near him that cowboy would still be alive. And the men of TULSA
because I’ve been a member of TULSA almost damn near since its inception.
We laughed, we joked about all wanting to grow old and die together, and
wouldn’t it be wonderful if…. And then the idea went on, and then I blew out
one shoulder, and as old slaves do the knees start going bad and then you know,
I’ve heard too many tops complain about floggers elbow. And the largest
generation in history won't go back into its closet anymore. Where would it
go? Who are going to give the leather to, because you cant take it with you?
Who are you going to give the Etienne paintings to because you sure as hell
can’t hang them up against the wall? And gee, wouldn’t it be nice if? And
that was five years ago, and the thinking kept getting broader. Now last year,
I was here for Beyond Vanilla I did the keynote address and I was talking about
a lot of things that they never expected to hear. They expected Mom to talk
about leather history and the evolution and how proud I was of the next
generation and all the things that mothers do to inspire their children.
I got up on the podium and I said how many of you can see what I am holding
in my hands, and I was holding up my will. The audience was so quiet you could
have heard a fly rub its wings together. I said this isn’t a symbol of death,
this is a symbol of life. My will guarantees that if anything happens to me,
Jill is by my side, not some strange relative that I don’t know and don’t like.
I said if you love a slave enough to collar them, why don’t you give them the
power of the power of attorney. And I talked about how many people in this
audience were in non-traditional relationships. Not necessarily gay or lesbian,
but in Master/slave relationships with a female submissive who is not your wife.
What have you done to protect your relationship? And there was this, absolutely
stunned silence. I said how many of you have thought about adopting your boy
in order to guarantee that that boy will be by your side and that that boy can’t
be thrown out by your family. I got a better question for you, if you haven’t
thought about it, why not? Are you so bound up in society’s “box” that you
haven’t learned to think outside of it to protect the people you love, because
the government has given us the tools, we just don’t use them. That’s what a
power of attorney is for, that’s what an adoption is for, that’s what a trust
is for. It’s a way of binding a non-traditional relationship. So why don’t you
do it? And then I said, and by the way, what are you going to do with your boy,
when you’re too old to take care of him? And would it be nice if he didn’t have
to worry. Well then a young lawyer, I finished the speech, I walked the length
of the atrium back to my table and there was stunned silence and then the audience
exploded. Well, when it was all over a young lawyer from Dallas approached me and
he said “you know this idea you have for a leather home, if money were no object,
what would it look like?” and I just let my imagination run, well I mad a mistake
because three of my kids were standing there and they heard the whole thing. I had
to go from Dallas to another event and then home so I was gone for about eight days.
When I got home, there was this email that said “Mom you need to correct this”.
Correct it? Yeah well you need to correct it, because we’ve already shown it to a
friend of ours and the Housing and Urban development office and she said if you’re
serious about this, raise the first million and HUD will give you the other two.
I went MILLION WITH AN M? What are you nuts? I can’t raise enough money to pay off
the mortgage for the archives and you want me to raise a million dollars? Well, it
was a two page very simple introduction, taking everything that I had said and u
nfortunately a few things that they also heard and talked about home. And that I
wanted to welcome leather people of all genders and all persuasions, because Jill
and I came out in an era where who was sleeping with whom didn’t matter. You know,
you weren’t gay in leather, you weren’t heterosexual in leather, you were just kinky.
And what it would be like to have that kind of home and be welcomed in that kind
of home. So, first this letter comes about and then next thing I know two other
of my kids have a web site up and then suddenly they’re talking and they took the
world’s worst drawing because my artwork is one step below stick figures, not above,
below. And they turned it into the architectural rendering that Ann was showing
yesterday. Which is the absolute dream. A little leather village that can take
care of its own, young or old, that has a place for all persuasions, I mean I am
looking forward to watching the landscaper mow the lawn naked. I may be too old
to do anything about it, but I can still watch. A place where the kids come home
because it’s got a run site build in and while they’re there, you know, take the
hiking trail across and sit at Frank Puckett’s knee and listen to him tell some
stories. Or better yet run over the kennel and romp with the puppies. Or better
yet, I’m old go grab my pony cart and come around to get me. A place where I just…
well actually, I’m also, if I’m going to tell this story properly I might as well
also tell you that..I’m an old dyke that’s sick of worrying I am so sick of going
to the government with my hat in my hand. I am so tired of begging for gay rights
cause I really don’t want them. I want the rights guaranteed me by the Constitution.
That’s not a special favor. I don’t want you bending over backwards because I’m gay.
I want you to stop trying to persecute me because I’m gay. I am so sick of worrying
about the people I love. I am tired of wondering if you’re going to lose your
children, I am tired of wondering if Jill is going to lose her job, I am tired of
wondering. I want to take my family and go home. If you wont play nice screw it,
I am going to take my bat and take my ball and go home. (begins to cry) And my god,
you can obviously tell I haven’t had enough sleep. I just don’t want to worry any
more. And in a quiet place and we’ve looked at a lot of states, no one state fits
it all. And the state to be winning the most favor is actually Tennessee. We are
still doing a lot of research. But there are so many requirements for this. It
has to be within 90 minutes from the airport 30 minutes from a major hospital.
It has to be a state where its sodomy laws are already overturned. That has few
if any SM laws. That is still predominantly rural because the land has to be under
$1000 per acre and has to have a history of liberal politics. And as we’ve
investigated, there are still a lot of gay communes in the hills of Tennessee
that get along fabulously with their neighbors. Because it really does have
that old rule of “ you stay on your side of the fence and I’ll stay on mine and
every once in a while I’ll come over and fix your tire and you’ll come over and
kiss my dog”. There are a lot of old hippy communes in those hills and there
are a lot of old nudist colonies in those hills and they have a history of
liberal politics for god sake that’s Al Gore’s home state. The good part is,
by the way, the last requirement is it has to have its own water and that’s
why New Mexico is a problem. Because some of the water fights that New Mexico
is going through is frightening. But the bad part is you got a lot of water,
you got mold you allergies, if we were in New Mexico those problems would already
be solved. But its easier to put you into an air conditioned building that
filters out the mold the dust, the pollen than it is to generate the water.
So we were very surprised. Pennsylvania fits, its too damn cold, these are
old bones. Unless I have hot and cold running boys shoveling the snow, I
ain’t going. New Mexico fits, the water problems are a little scary same
thing with Arizona. California fits, if you have $35,000 per acre. Vermont
would be ideal, it’s the perfect little gay state and its got winter 9 months
a year. Each state has its problems, the one that seems to have the least
right now, is Tennessee. Land is still $1000 an acre, it also is in Oklahoma
and Arkansas it seems to be the ideal little conclave. Now the one with the
best laws is Texas, its too fucking hot down here. I love these boys, but its
too fucking hot. So its, we’re doing the research and its not going to be
everything I envisioned in my lifetime, but if its set up correctly, it will
roll on when I am there or not. Because people are beginning to have the
vision. They’re beginning to think. “Oh wait a minute, with more and more
people telecommuting and more and more of us running our own businesses.”
And the one comment that was made yesterday that I really disagree with, an
individual asked a question about the limited resources in the leather
community especially in the women’s community. I personally believe that
there’s a lot more out there than we realize. The problem is that we are
an insular little group and we keep seeing the same faces over and over again.
But there is a whole world out there. There are swingers, who have the BDSM
aspect in their lifestyle. There all of those who have played in their
closets because they are scared to death of losing all the things they hold
dear who would come to a quiet place if only to visit. Park the 5th wheel
in the back because there’s an area to drop a trailer and come spend their
vacation there. So there’s a lot more resources that I think we don’t give
this community for.
David: That leads to the next question. The idea of a community
where leather people are actually living together will seem to change the
definition of community itself.
Vi: From your lips to god’s ears, I hope so.
David: Looking at it from a social point of view and what I mean
is we interact with each other primarily at events and at small gatherings
and we have our own personal relationships. However gathering a group of
people together and actually having a community not only in spirit but a
physical community where these is interaction among people living together
will seem like it’s a realization in addition to changing to idea of what
we consider community.
Vi: But it’s not so foreign as you think it is. Are you just
outside of Tulsa?
David: No, Oklahoma City.
Vi: You’re in Oklahoma City. How do you know about Tulsa?
David: Not much.
Vi: You know where ORU is?
David: Yes.
Vi: Do you realize that just outside of Sheridan at about 96th
is a whole community sitting there? They’re all Oral Roberts Methodists
and it’s a retirement community and you’d never notice it. There are
probably 400 people living there. Retirement communities based on
ideologies are very very common. The Chinese do it all the time.
There are Chinese retirement homes, there are Baptist retirement homes,
there are retirement homes, there are retirement homes for police, there
are retirement homes for old actors. This is nothing new. And I don’t
even think it’s the 1st time its been tried before because there are
retirement homes for swingers. This isn’t that unusual. It may be a
different focus for this community, but it comes back to I believe the
correct word in its truest definition is ghetto. And that’s a community
of like minds. We’ve made the word something dirty. It isn’t. Jews
live together because they share something in common. Chinese live
together in China Town it’s all over the place. The big banners are
there, and the signs are there and the posts are there and the dragon
is blazing. They live together, because it’s a community of like minds.
It's not that unusual, for god’s sake San Francisco has China Town,
New York has Little Tokyo not to mention Little Italy and Little Spain
and why should we be any different?
David: Hmmm Little Kinky?
Vi: (New Jersey accent) I’m going to the coffee house; I’ll meet
you at Single Tail and Main.
David: (Laughs) How do you think the vanilla people or the
people who are not a part of the leather community will receive Welcome
Home? How do you think the people will people will perceive a community
such as this?
Vi: I don’t think they’ll care. Like I said if you can put up
with an old hippy commune, you know you come back to the wisest of old
adages which is good fences make good neighbors. What you do on your
side of the fence doesn’t affect me. Now if you get rural enough, not
only will they kiss your ass, they will love you. Stop and think, you’re
bringing jobs into a rural community, you’re bringing construction,
you’re bringing things that will improve the land values, you’re
bringing a place that needs four or five young landscapers, two or three
nurses, some doctors. You’re bringing building projects, your bringing
land projects, you’re bringing water projects. Somebody’s gotta lay the
sewer line. So if you get rural enough, the community may just do
anything you want. Just like… see we’re just focused on the fact that
it’s a leather community that we are forgetting on some level, take the
ideology out of if and just look at its baby step. We’re still in
infancy, but progress a little further down the line. All we’re doing
is what any development corporation does. It may be a leather development
corporation, but who needs to know the ideology, it’s a gated community.
What I do behind my gate is what I do, what you do behind yours is your
business.
David: To take even one step further. If you do build such a
community, then that means politically we could get representation.
Vi: It’s possible
David: And I know this is speculation.
Vi: It’s down the road, just down the road.
David: But having a community like that does make something
like that very possible where you have somebody who is representing
your best interest.
Vi: And if you are rural enough, once again, you can change
the course the local politics. But that comes back to what gays and
lesbians figured out about 22 years ago, which is that green spends.
When Jill and I were probably in our late 20s there was a big campaign.
They were passing out rubber stamps to gays and lesbians in the bar,
they asked you to stamp your money with a little lambda. Didn’t have
to be dead in the center. You know, you weren’t going to worry about
the defacing thing and all that. Just put the little lambda on your
dollar. And it was a major campaign for about two years and it
taught the local politicians a lesson they never thought they wound
learn, which is how much gay money is out there. But money is power
and if you know where the money is coming from, you’re going to be
focused a little differently. And leather dollars are still dollars.
And if we move into a nice quiet rural area take over uncle bubba’s
farm at 400s acres for starters. You know the goal is for something
bigger, but the reality is we’re going to start with a hundred or two
hundred acres. And if the area is rural, and that’s another reason
for the rural setting, it will keep expanding. Somebody will buy
another fifty, and maybe donate it and buy another fifty and sell it
off to other leather people or donate an area for a hospice or whatever.
The local community would bend over backwards and kiss your ass.
Because a person, who is there needs groceries, needs to have their
tires changed, needs to have a mechanic, a doctor and someone.
Some of that, the vision in 10 to 15 years is to have it all within
the walls of the community. But the bottom line is it’s still coming
in. The local distributor for cheetos is still bringing in X amount
of cheetos and bread and milk and everything else that community
represent dollars to the larger community that it’s a part of. We
are so focused on that leather thing, we’re forgetting about all the
rest of it and we’re forgetting that this is not a new idea; this is
a new idea for us.
David:
Going back to the general public, when you have a gated community,
and even though it will be a community where leather people can go and
other people from various parts of the lifestyle can go do you think
the media will perceive this community as a cult?
P>
Vi: Actually that’s an interesting choice of words, but once
again, who cares? What I do on my side of the fence doesn’t affect
you on yours. Good fences make good neighbors. And if you’ve looked
at that sketch you’ll realize that this is a double fenced community.
When I started spinning those dreams, one of the reasons we needed
water was because water represents trees and trees are security.
A friend of mine whom has his own compound of sorts said you take
the local trees, you trim them up 40 feet you turn it into a park.
No one can see down. So you are protected from the visuals of the air.
Somebody’s running naked in the woods, who cares its your woods. You
take the outside fence and the inside fence between the two are the
main access roads. You let all the shrubbery and bramble and briar
you want grow on the inside fence. Someone who crosses the first barrier
wont be able to cross the second. Once again, I don’t think anybody is
going to care. It’s a community, its brought jobs, they’re not affecting
me. Nobody’s died over there, the police are never over there…who cares
what they are doing. It’s simply a gated community like any other and
I don’t stop and think about what was going on in South Wood North
even though I lived in SouthWood South in Bixby (Oklahoma). It was a
quiet gated family community. They could have all been beating the
shit out of each other or god only knows what. My neighbors in the north
didn’t care. I didn’t know what they were doing either. I don’t worry
about what’s going on in the little retirement community down at ORU,
that’s their business. The press doesn’t cover it. They’re just nice
retiree’s who are sitting in their little rocking chair and minding
their own business. Our rocking chair may be a little bit kinkier.
But I think we need to stop focusing on the ideology and just accept
the fact that we’re old and we’re kinky and so what. If I don’t feel
like using and electric cart and want to use a pony cart, that’s not
going to affect my neighbors because they are not going to see it.
If there’s two legged or four legged in a kennel that’s still not
going to affect my neighbors. (Whispers) They’re not going to see
it either.
David:
Last question about Welcome Home. How will you market this to the
younger generation considering that some of them feel that they are
19 they are invincible and that they feel like they can live forever.
Vi: You know, that was a serious question for me until South
East Leather Fest. Because the vision was to provide a place for
all of those who felt uncomfortable in main world but comfortable
in their own skin. Ultimately, and like I said the vision is far
reaching, I would love to know that the kid who is mowing my lawn
with the 18 piercings and the 47 tattoos who couldn’t get a job
anywhere else could get a job at Welcome Home. That the young
boys whose sex was originally female who came out of the army with
paramedic training can now be a nurse at Welcome Home. But at
LeatherFest, a young boy came up to me, I want to say South East,
it was one of the boys from the South East states and said,
“I think know where I want my little apartment”, and I looked
at him. I think he was some where between 28 and 31. He said,
“I’ve always been alone and I telecommute I can be anywhere in
the world, gee it would be nice if I could be there.” I said,
but does it matter that you’re going to be around a bunch of
old farts? And he said, “The reality is you’d be surprised
about how many kids feel the same way. We’re the young computer
generation.” Which I can’t begin to understand. And a healthy
portion of them are opening up their own businesses, they are
telecommuting to their own offices which are thousands of miles
away. Who I honestly think…they surprised me, because my scope
on this was very limited. My focus was very narrow. It's my
younger generation, its my leather sons and my grand sons who
have been expanding my consciousness and reminding me that I
need to open my eyes and realize that community is community
and that age has nothing to do with it. So they’ve been
wearing me out with this thing. It’s taken on a life of its
own. It was…it was notice that’s past tense..It was one
woman’s dream, it’s now a communities dream and it’s a
communities project because it sure as hell isn’t mine.
Not unless god came down and handed me a power ball lottery,
and I still couldn’t pull this off. Because this takes
minds far greater than mine. The only thing I donated is
inspiration…the designs, the energy, the administrative
abilities, the focus for the future is the community’s
I don’t have shit to do with this. It’s like the little
kid that made the snowball at the top of the hill, all I
did was make the snowball and start it rolling down.
It’s taking on a life of its own and for the community
to build it, they first have to buy into it. And everyone
who does, brings their little bit of their heart and
intellect into this project. And everyone who goes
“that’s a hell of an idea”, takes a little bit away as
their project. All I did was make the snowball. It’s
going to be a “snow castle” by the time its finished
and I didn’t do that. I have two doctors who have
emailed my executive director and me “My name is..,
my license number is…, when you are ready to apply for
the grant, I will put my license on the line. I’ve got
a leather hospice nurse who says “when you are ready, I’m
coming.” I’ve got architects, designers who are all
chomping at the bit to experiment, to build, to build
their dream…not mine. It’s become a whole communities
philosophy… A Place to Call Home.
David: Thank you, But I was just wondering
about something. (Pulls out an old interview with
Jill, Vi, and Cougar. I was wondering if you remember this.
Vi: (Laughs) Two years ago, Folsom, I think it was.
David: Actually it was four.
Vi: My god, am I that old?
Vi: Jesus David: Its going on four years since
this interview and initially this is when as it was put,
the courting process with Cougar was still happening.
Vi: Actually we had just moved her when this was
done and half of San Francisco wanted us dead.
Terrel:l One thing that is very amazing is 25 years
(with Jill)
Vi: 28 now.
David: 28 years with a life partner (Jill)
no matter if they are gay or heterosexual no matter what,
its really unheard of in this day and age.
Vi: As a matter of fact its five years tomorrow. (smiles)
David: Reaching five years in a poly amorous relationship.
Has anything changed since this interview as far as inspiring people…
Vi: (Laughs) We didn’t get into this to inspire
people, we got into this because we fell in love. It just
happened. I didn’t set out to inspire people, Jill didn’t
set out to be a role model, I didn’t set out to be a mother
it just happened.
David Do you think that this could have happened 28 years ago?
Vi: My best offer is maybe. Hindsight is always 20/20
and even then, I can’t say no, but also can’t say yes. It
might have been possible, because we have always, damn near
always, I should say, had an extended leather family around
us. When Jill first gave me away and that’s a whole different
story, that’s a very long story. And we bought our first
house together Jill and my Mistress shared the mortgage.
She had the downstairs apartment. Jill and I had the upstairs
apartment and there were no doors anywhere. Was it a poly
amorous situation? On some levels, yes. It’s just that the
level is more agape than Eros. So could have happen? Maybe.
There’s no way of really knowing. We make a certain amount
of jokes about Cougar because Jill and I have different taste
in women. God do we have different taste in women. As a
matter of fact, in about 23 or 24 years at that point, I
can honestly say that I don’t think we have looked cross eyed
at the same woman. We go for very different types. It was
Power Surge 1996 which was a women’s conference that happened
over Labor Day weekend, which by the way we chose Labor Day
weekend for Ms World. It was a way of honoring Power Surge
and trying to keep a woman’s event on this weekend. Much to
both our surprise, we were staring at the same woman that was
a first, over two decades, that was a first. We found ourselves
laughing with, loving and teasing the same woman. When we
really stopped and thought about what we were doing we were
shocked. I looked at Jill and Jill looked at me and I said
“what part of her do you want?” and Jill said, “I want her
body” and I went oh thank god, I want her brains. (laughs)
So we chased her till she caught us. But I believe the
relationship has been stable because lets face it,
geometrically, the triangle is one of the sturdiest geometric
figures. It doesn’t move. It simply keeps rolling because
all sides are equal. I would say that what has made ours
different from many, not all, but from many that have tried
is that we fell in love with Cougar and that Cougar fell in
love with us. She didn’t come into the relationship for me
tolerating Jill; she didn’t come into the relationship for
Jill tolerating me. Because sooner or later, that will lead
to an “us and them”. It leads to a couple and one man out.
No matter how the things fall. We all fell in love with each
other. So very much like the triangle, all sides are equal.
And I think that’s been its greatest strength. That doesn’t
mean that there aren’t times that we do want to kill each
other, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t problems. It just
means that with all sides equal, we work it out and we work
it out equally.
David:
Polyamory is a lifestyle that is being considered by many.
Some people pursue this relationship as far is structure is
concerned is through a hierarchy. Would that be the best way
to do it or would do structures vary?
Vi: I would say that there are a lot of different poly-
amorous patterns to follow. I personally don’t believe that
any one is better than the other. My only concern is where
you call it one and you relate differently. There are
hierarchal structures in many households, there harems,
there are classic Mormon type structures where he’s the head
of the house and he’s got five or six wives and if it works
well, they all like each other. Some would even say they
would even love each other, if it doesn’t work well; they are
going to kill each other. There are lots and lots and lots
of different types of poly-amorous relationships. They work
not because of the structure of the relationships, but because
of the power between the partners. We found the one that works
the best for us, but we came in as equals. There was no attempt
on anybody’s part to favor one partner over the other. I confess
there are times when Jill and I use Cougar ping pong ball and
for us it’s a hell of a lot of fun. Jill will say one thing,
which I will deliberately countermand just to watch Cougar go
“AAAAAAAAAAAA” (makes a face of exasperation) And then we all
laugh about it because she then sits there and goes “you two
figure it out” and then we all laugh and that’s pretty much
the end of it. But that’s also the fun of being in this type
of relationship. We cannot just love each other but we can
also play with each other. If you can’t laugh and joke,
you’re screwed to begin with. God has it been that long?
Jesus! I’m getting old David; I thought we did that about
two years ago. Oops!
David:
Yeah, as I was doing research, this interview just fell in
my lap. So I was curious to see how everything developed since then.
Vi: She was the best gift we gave each other. The
only one who held it against me was Marcus (Mr. Marcus).
David: Yes.
Vi: He will never forgive me, ever. And the funny thing is,
he blames me, not Jill. Jill is the saint that can do no wrong.
I’m the dirty dog that stole his daughter from San Francisco. I
don’t get it. But I am the miserable one who took Queen Cougar,
who kidnapped I think is the term he used from the stage the other
day. Who kidnapped his daughter and whisked her away to never let
her do god only knows what. I’m the saint in the group. It’s my
lie, I’ll tell it any way I want.
David: Laughs.
- 30 -
Your Brother in Leather
When we finally landed and I wanted to kiss the ground. After meeting boy danny and his pup at baggage claims, we went to dinner, changed and headed for the Cell Block. The bar was packed, however, I was able to recognize a few familiar faces. I eventually caught up with woodie and his Daddy Jeffery and Bob Guenther and just chatted for a bit.
On Saturday, we went to the Leather Archives and Museum for the awards ceremony. Some of the big winners were Jo Romano-Blas and Annie Romano-Blas who won woman of the Year, Community Choice Woman of the Year respectively and Couple of the year as well. In addition, Miss World Leather won the Large event category. Oklahoma also won two categories; Best Small Club of the Year (TULSA, Tulsa Uniform Leather Seekers Association) and South Central Regional won by David.
Saturday evening was the Mr. Cell Block Leather contest. Six contestants vied for the title but when the dust settled, Reynaldo took the gold and will be competing at IML 2002.
On Sunday, we attended the Olympus contest. The Olympus contest had five contestants. Before the first intermission, Amy Marie Meek-Dejarlais (owner of the International Ms. Leather Contest) and Judy Tallwing (Board Member of the Ms. World Leather Contests) informed the crowed that there was no conflict between the two contests. They both informed everyone that there is a place for BOTH contests and that the community should support both contests. I personally support both contests and plan on going to both of them. IMsL will be in Omaha, Nebraska this year on July 26-28 and Ms World will be in Dallas, Texas on August 9-11. For further information, please check the following listings. http://www.imsl.org/ and http://www.msworldleather.com.
The fantasies and the basket auctions were the highlights of the contest. One fantasy that stands out was a fisting fantasy put on by Butch Arnold and Daddy Jeffery. The fantasy entailed the fister pulling interesting objects out of the fistee, great sound effects and well farm animals. You just had to be there. Over $2,000 was raised during the basket auction. But the highlight of the auction was when Judy Tallwing donned a rather interesting looking red bra that was a part of one of the contestant's basket.
After Michael Allhouse and Sheree Dixon, Mr. And Ms. Olympus Leather 2001 gave their stepping aside speech. Butch Arnold and Sasha were named Mr. and Ms. Olympus Leather 2002. Butch will compete at International Mr. Leather 2003 and Sasha will have the option of competing at International Ms. Leather or Ms. World Leather 2003.
February has been quite a busy month for my wife and I. We headed for Springfield, Missouri for the third Mr. Ozark Leather Contest weekend. The entire weekend was fun. Dennis and Ted put on a great contest. It was filled with fun, food and entertainment. Although I didn't get a chance to spank the outgoing titleholder, I still found time for other adventures. Saturday's activities were great. There were a series of fantasies that had connecting themes. The first dealt with a boy becoming a Sir; second, newfound empowerment; and the third, mentoring. The fantasies were performed by Thom Brandt, (Mr. Ozarks Leather 2001), Ted, Mistress Lynette (Ms. South Plains Leather 2002), and Jessie.
The judges for this contest were, Mike Siemer (head judge), Lynnette Hadlock (Ms. South Plains Leather 2001), Bill Snook (Mr. Dixiebell Leather 2001), Thom Brandt (Mr. Ozarks Leather 2001), Jim Stout (Oklahoma Mr. Leather 2001), Sam Sampson (Mr. Missouri 2001), and myself.
The candidates for the Mr. Ozark Leather looked great and did an excellent job strutting their stuff in the leather image and physique categories, however when the dust settled Todd Althiser captured the brass to become Mr. Ozarks Leather 2002. Todd will be competing at IML 2002 this coming May.
On Saturday, March 2, llamb and I went to Dallas for the second annual South Plains LeatherFest. We almost didn't make it due to the snowstorm that hit on Friday. We arrived at 5pm and met up with Randal and Lynnette (the outgoing Ms. South Plains Leather) later that evening. llamb and I went to grab something to eat and then headed out to the contest.
This year, there were no contestants for the Ms. Contest, however there were three great men who competed for the Mr. SPL title. The contestants were Rocky Sykes, Randal Kinnear and Ed Wittler. In addition to the interviews being open once again this year, a meet the press section was added this year. All of the contestants looked hot on stage, however when the scores were tallied, Ed. Whittler became Mr. South Plains Leather 2002.
The next day, I had the opportunity to attend a few educational classes and do some shopping. I attended the early bird session of Frank Strona's class on preventing SM/sex burnout, Midori's class on humiliation and Jill Carter's Titleholding seminar.
Frank Strona's class began at 8am. It was very informative. He lectured on topics such as identifying burnout, identifying wants and needs, and keeping your play fresh in order to prevent being burned out.
Midori's class on humiliation is great. To preface this, I have to say that humiliation is a personal limit for me, however I needed to know about it and it was a topic that I have been avoiding for about 3 years. On a personal note, the class challenged my personal values, yet at the same time, I found it to be very exciting. I was repulsed from the scenes and compelled to them at the same time. From what I have processed so far, there seems to be a duality that is present when approaching this type of play. To clarify, I feel that an individual challenges personal values by participating in activities, that generally are socially and personally unacceptable. But then again, isn't everything that we do in the SM/fetish lifestyle socially unacceptable by the norm? (But its sooooooo fun!)
Jill's titleholding seminar was great. I only wish that I could have attended a class like that before I competed. The text used for this class was her book So You to be a Titleholder? The class gives the individual insight about both the important "must do's" as a titleholder, but also the subtle nuances that many people only learn by mistakes.
Before I begin this interview, I must inform the reader that this is a series of interviews that took place on the 1st, 2nd and last day of the contest. The people interviewed are Jill Carter, Viola Johnson and Queen Cougar. The combined interview is about 30 pages, so what I intend on doing in presenting one interview a month.
When I arrived in Dallas, I honestly didn't know what to expect from the contest as it was offering something entirely new to the contest. I was very intimidated yet excited to be a part of something like this. My only expectations of the weekend was to participate in the "Meet the Press" section of the contest, interview Jill, Vi and Cougar and write an article about it, but later, I realized that I had the opportunity to be a part of something much bigger. After I settled into my room, I went to the meet and greet. I saw Vi and she asked me if I had received my press kit yet. I told her no and so told me to pick it up later that night. When I did, I went back to my room at about midnight and began to review all of the contestant information…I finished at 3:30 am. That's when it was apparent to me that I was in for something entirely different. I woke up the next day to have breakfast, and caught Jill having breakfast with Paula Smith. Both woodie barnes and I went to sit with Jill and Paula and here is the result of that conversation.
David: Good morning Jill.
Jill Carter: Good morning.
David: Where did the concept of "Ms. World Leather" begin? How did it all begin? I mean as far back as when you were home thinking about how a contest should be.
Jill: Where did it all begin? Actually it began when Mark Frazier said to me " Let's do something - something different." We were at a contest venue at the time and the more I thought about it, the more I agreed. First of all we wanted an event versus a contest. I began putting down ideas' and soon had to fly to Denver for "Thunder In The Mountains." It was then a lot of my concepts came to me. Originally I can't remember what we were calling the event. Soon others were putting in their ideas and the next thing I knew I myself was calling it "Ms. World Leather" and Mark said, "Why don't we call it that?" I cannot remember all the names that were kicked around, but we really wanted to do something different. The more we thought about the concept we realized it had to be above board in integrity. The service concept of the event was thought out carefully, as we wanted this to be known as a title for a woman already involved in service to her Leather, Fetish/BDSM community.
David: So far has it met every part of your expectations? Generally speaking.
Jill: To answer that, have I done what I set out to do? Yes.
David: Has this event, (the planning of it) taken up much of your personal life?
Jill: All of it; aside from work. If it wasn't for my two wives, both working on this as well, I could not have done this. So yes it has. Now let me ask you " Has it met your expectations? What I mean by that is, I said I was going to try to do something different. There were people who could not understand what we were proposing, some got it, others that did not. I'd like to know; what were your expectations?
David: I came in having no expectations, because this was a concept that was entirely new. One thing that really impressed me last night with the "Meet the Press" segment, was that I was thinking that it was going to be an extension of the interview process, however it actually turned out to be something quite new. In the sense that it did bring out something in the contestants, or it made them seem more real, and it gave me a more accurate perception of the individual and I did appreciate that.
Jill: I appreciate your participation in that portion. Yes, that was another important segment of the event. What exactly was "Meet The Press?" It was designed to turn out just as it occurs in true-life situations. The reality is the press comes after you. They aggressively pursue answers to their questions and often in a rapid-fire manner. I envisioned that as this segment of the competition catches on, the invited press members will want to do homework on the proposed yearly contestants.
David: How much has your previous judging and contest producing experience influenced the way you designed this contest?
Jill: This is actually the first contest I've ever produced. I was thinking, "hey, I pretty much have done everything but produce a contest. How much did my past experience influence me? I knew what happened while running for a title, emceeing a contest, when being a judge or working behind the scenes. I knew that I did not want to be a leader that micromanaged. To do this I had to think "out of the box." Another thing was to assemble a good crew, whom I believed in. Now, I will say that they have delivered for me, beyond my expectations. Once they could see where my vision was, they spun off of it, and everything began to flow very well.
David: Micromanagement seems like it can slow down the process.
Jill: It can cripple it.
David: Do you think that Ms. World will "raise the bar" for the leather women in the community, as far their expectations? What they're expected to do? Or do you think it will intimidate an individual or future contestants? Do you think that they will strive to achieve more? That's what I'm asking, because of "Ms. World", so they can be a part of it?
Jill: I can only hope so. I would hope that when they see that it can be done, and when they look at how it was done, they will see that it's not that hard. It's all about your passions. It's about what you believe in, and talking to a larger audience about your passions.
David: That's true. As a judge, what do you expect from a titleholder, and how did that transfer (your expectation transfer) from being a judge to a president? Has it changed any, or has your expectation broadened?
Jill: As a judge (and I have judged a number of contests) I have been disappointed by the caliber of the contestants. I've wanted to see quality candidates up there, people who have done their homework. Being a titleholder has influenced me a lot as well. Being in the community for years, and getting older and more experienced is an influence. For instance; I like fantasies, and it's a lot of work to put them on. The experienced leatherwoman does not need to do a fantasy. A dedicated leatherwoman does not need a title to do their thing either. They do what they do for their communities with or without titles. The bottom line is about the money. In winning "Ms. World" they have $7000 to continue to do what they are already involved in.
David: That's true, it can help people realize some of their goals, that they may have wanted to do, but could not afford to.
Jill: Yeah that's it. So to answer your question, that is the influence it had. Number one is to look for "caliber." It was awesome to watch the women doing their interviews, but last night with the "Meet The Press", when they were introduced, they came in for the lineup and it was spectacular. They included every spectrum of our community. All those women came from different walks of life, gay, heterosexual, we had Doms, Femmes, and we had professional women. You actually saw "women" on that stage. Yeah!
David: Speaking of which, you have various women representing the gamut of the leather community. Do you think that it could also be a unifying agent with respect to - now you see people who previously identified as either fetish or just BDSM, without the leather? Do you think that this could be a unifying agent? Usually when you see leather titles its about the leather lifestyle and just what you know about the lifestyle and what you have done in the lifestyle. Now you can see other people from different walks.
Jill: Of course I would hope that it would spread. We feel that Florida got it. They had a feeder contest to come to Ms. World (not that it is a requirement) with people coming together from Jacksonville to Miami. From all walks of life, and for the first time that community did unite. They did this even though you do not have to have title to run for "Ms. World."
David: Yes.
Jill: So, it can be done. We believe we've shown it can be done. So I would hope that the idea will continue to grow and spread.
David: OK. This is kind of a silly question. Inquiring minds want to know, why do you hug contestants when you judge leather contests?
Jill: Why do I hug contestants when I judge?
David: Yeah, during an interview?
Jill: There's a very good reason. I remember it began up in Jacksonville, Florida. I was judging a contest there during my title year. I looked at the men and women and the contest, and said to myself; here I am in the south. I wanted to see if a man - a gay man felt comfortable hugging a woman. If I approached him would he feel comfortable hugging a minority woman? You could end up being my titleholder, so can I approach you? Well what came out of it, sort of took on a life of it's own. Some say it helped them to feel okay, to calm down. Others were reading my body language to say, " she is really a genuine person." That's what it was really all about. Now, you the contestant can go on and talk about what you planned to do, but I now know a little bit more about you personally. Do you really embrace me? A woman, a minority? That's where the "hug" "came from.
David: That's cool!
Jill: (smiling) Now you can tell 'inquiring minds' that was what this whole thing was about. You know, demystify it. Some folks have a problem with physical contact.
David: I guess I'm done for now, I don't want to interrupt your eating or anything like that.
Jill: Well, if you don't mind a little garble in there, let's just do it!
David: OK. I dug this out and was sent this. It was the first interview that you, Vi and Cougar did. Reflecting on the relationship that began about five years ago. For a lack of a better word, how would you reflect on it?
Jill: Reflect on the relationship?
David: Yeah, considering when you wrote this interview and now.
Jill: I don't even remember what was said.
David: It pretty much dealt with your relationship with Vi which has been 25 years and then all of a sudden bringing in someone new into the relationship and then changing from, um, it was amazing having a 25yr. Relationship and in the Gay community that's very much an achievement. However, bringing a third into the relationship and then having it be successful (considering that its been 5 years in retrospect) is also an amazing achievement.
Jill: Yeah, I guess it is isn't it?
David:
I don't know, perhaps back then it wasn't perceived that way, or it wasn't even thought about, but now you know when you think about it, it's amazing. Would you like to respond on that?
Jill:
We are still growing. And we're still learning the dynamics of each other. We've got three dominant women, Okay? I'm the head Dom, and we have a household. It can be difficult at times, let me tell you! This event stretched our patience with each other, but at the same time, I would step back and look at things and say "My god, this is awesome." I am very fortunate to have two women (who while I was off at work) home pulling all this stuff together. They worked their asses off. Then I could come home and do what I had to do. As I said earlier the relationship is still growing and developing and we're still learning about each other. And yes, we need to take a vacation!
David: Considering the 1970's, do you think a relationship like yours would have been possible back then, as opposed to now?
Jill:
Yes, we tried it a couple of times. We were some of the first to even think about doing such, extending the family. From 1979-80 I had extended Vi to another Mistress. Even then people looked at us and said, it's unheard of. It was in some ways a real change in the way of having a "leather family." We did these things in a quiet way, and I stayed at that time in the background supporting community activities.
David: Out of personal experience comes enhanced communication, because there is no room for miscommunication. Do you find that to be true?
Jill: Yes, I do. Even though it does happen, the big thing is to have trust, communication and listening. Those are three things that we have, and are still improving on.
David: It's actually a lifetime work.
Jill: Yes it is. You can't rush into it. Some people think they can just rush into this type of a relationship. You can't.
David: For people that are interested in polyamory or triads, what would be some words of wisdom that you would provide?
Jill: Don't! (Laughs) It's like that "Scary Movie" - what would you have done? Run! I wanted to say that because at home when we are preparing to do a "triad workshop" I usually say that's what I want to say. Then my wives chide me and say, you cannot go there and say that! Seriously, you cannot run into it. You first must be sure the relationship between you and your primary partner is solid. If it is not, and one goes looking for another and does not include the primary it's never going to work. They must all be in it for "each other." The primary's must look at their foundation, and agree that it's solid enough to bring a third in on.
David: Would you say that a sense of hierarchy within that type of relationship works? Or is it going to vary?
Jill: It's going to vary. Each relationship is different, and I certainly don't have a cookbook recipe on how to make it successful.
David: Well, I guess that's it.
Jill: Thank you David.
David: Thank you very much.
Jill: I want to stress that this is not about the organization making money off this venture, because for sure we won't. So if and when you take on something of this magnitude make sure that your initial year and the second one is an investment. In our particular event, anything we get a discount on, we pass on to the people. Like the hotel room rate was originally $69 and then it was lowered to $64. The energy tax then brought it back up. We kept our people abreast of the changes, instead of capitalizing on them for financial gain. This is truly not about an organization out to make a profit. We invested money in trying to gain charity status, and lost it after the government rejected it. They took our money anyway. A hefty fee, yet we know that once we have demonstrated that we are putting money back into the community we can revisit this. It's really about getting sponsorships so we can continue what we have started.
David: What I am interested in hearing is, if Chuck Renslow back when he perceived or envisioned IML back in 1979, went through these types of problems or issues as well?
Jill: I am sure he did. IML was designed with a completely different concept. It was about having fun. That's what IML is about, it's not designed to be a service orientation or anything like that. It is really about a hunk of a man, going out there and having a damn good time as a showpiece, and drawing other people in for the ball. I don't fault that, if that's where the focus is. Whoever you put out there will go out and promote the contest and bring people in.
David: Any improvements or alterations you plan to make for the next Ms. World?
Jill: Most certainly. I was listening to the feedback and I listen to the people I've surrounded myself with. If I had not listened to them, we would have been in a few small rooms doing the interviews. People would have been trying to get in, and we would have had to make adjustments mid-stream. My crew told me early on I needed to move it. As anal as I am, I'd had it all planned out, but I listened to them, and it was moved to the amphitheater. It was the best thing we could have ever done. Same thing with the basket auction. It was going to be in the amphitheater and I saw that would not work. So we moved it to one room for viewing, and then to the atrium for the auction. We'll be more prepared for this in the future. There were some issues around the pansexual versus all women offsite dungeon parties. I came out in a pansexual scene so it didn't matter to me. I am however sensitive to the fact that this is a woman's event and there are some women for which this is an issue. These are things we will have to work out. There were situations that worked well for us, and others that need improvement. We will also start earlier with sponsorships. There were some mistakes made, we admitted they were mistakes and we did what we could do to make them right. All I wanted was for people to walk away saying that basically they had a good time.
David: To tell you the truth, usually if I attend a leather event, I am working it. This is the first leather event where I got to play. I am so happy. Life was good last night. I usually never get the chance to do that. I feel that the atmosphere is very relaxed here.
Jill: There is really good energy here. Its very positive: a very different type of positive energy. I have been to events with different members of the community, straight, gay men and gay women and there were all kinds of clashes, but it's all meshing here. That is what it's all about - positive sexual energy.
David: Could it be because Dallas has been doing pansexual events for quite some time that could be helping?
Jill: No, because the people that came here are mostly from out of state.
David: That is true.
Jill: Many people are here from the West Coast, the East Coast and Canada.
David: I forgot to ask; the open interviews were initially tested out at South Plains Leatherfest here in Dallas. The kinks were worked out then. Has it turned out the way you expected it to?
Jill: Yes, beyond my wildest dreams. Beyond what I imagined based on what happened at South Plains. I'm glad we moved it to the amphitheater for "Ms. World" because as the word spread it quickly became standing room only. South Plains helped to take the mystery out of the process and gave folks a chance to see how the judges operate and their interactions with the contestants.
AR-B
2. Yes it is a very conservative city, were there any instances that stand out when vice
or the police have given your community problems?
Yes, there have. In October of 1999, vice raided a play party and arrested 6 of the attendees.
You may have heard of it - The San Diego Six is what the group of people arrested were called.
There have also been instances where police park their cars outside of Wolf's, a leather bar
here, and harass the patrons as they exit the bar. I have not seen or experienced that personally,
but have heard a great many men I know talk about it.
3. What attracted you to the leather community?
The opportunity to stretch my limits and boundaries. Also, as far as working in the community, I saw
some needs and felt that I could contribute to their fulfillment.
4. What opportunities did you take to stretch your limits and boundaries?
I have a couple of examples of this:
1.Most recently I have taken on a girl and that is something that is completely new to me.
While I have been a switch for some time, I have never before explored the area of dominance
in a relationship outside of a play situation. The experience has been so much more than I
could have ever imagined or hoped for.
2. In play situations, when I have been bottoming, I have adopted the philosophy of "Ok, I want to call my safe word, but I'm going to wait just 5 more lashes..."
That has enabled me to go further than I ever thought I could. I also have to admit that I have played without safe words also. With someone I trust
implicitly (my wife), it has taken me to places I have only imagined.
5. What motivated you to compete in the Ms. San Diego Leather contest?
I wanted to make some differences. I saw division between the men's and women's leather communities
and knew that I might be able to make some strides towards uniting them.
6. What was your platform as Ms. San Diego Leather?
My "slogan" was "Unity in Diversity". I worked hard to make sure that all facets of the community
were included and welcomed at all the events I held. Looking back, I feel that I was successful in
making at least a start in the unification process.
7. How did you and Jo Blas meet?
We met at LeatherFest in 1997 (I spent a lot of time watching her empty the trash cans and fantasizing!!)
and then again at the Ms. San Diego Leather contest later that year. The woman that was the other main
character in my fantasy could not go to IMsL with me, so I asked Jo to stand in for her. The rest is history…
!
8. It's interesting that Jo stepped aside as IMsL in July and then less than two months later
you were chosen to be Ms. World Leather. How has these two events affected your lives?
Oh boy…! Jo's year as IMsL was difficult for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was her health.
She was away from home a lot and when she was home, she was always on the phone or doing
something around the community with her local "husband" Mark Chipman. When I saw the criteria
for Ms. World Leather it really drew me and I talked to Jo about it. I am one of the owners/producers
for Ms. San Diego Leather. We give the winner the option of running for either IMsL or MsWL.
Since I would not run against or with my local titleholder, I had to consider that 2001 was possibly
the only year I would be able to run (the current Ms. San Diego Leather was definitely running for
IMsL in 2001). We knew that if I ran and won, that we would have another year very like the one we
had just had. We took into account the pressures it put on our relationship and on our own individual
health and emotions. Being "out there" all the time can really take a toll on you if you don't have a safe
haven at home and lots of support. We both have that in our home and in our relationship. I really
wanted to do the work and Jo was very supportive of me trying for the title. Once I won, it hit home
for both of us. One thing we have done is to block out one weekend a month where neither of us is
available for any events. That is "our weekend". We didn't do that during Jo's IMsL year and wanted
to be able to keep our relationship as strong as it is now during my MsWL year. Plus I feel it's very
important to maintain balance in your life when you are working as hard as we are.
9. What motivated you to compete in the MsWL contest?
And how much did it affect your platform?
I am an activist from the "old days" of the early 70's. I was very active in the women's and gay rights
movements. The activism focus of the title is what really drew me. I saw the opportunity for me to do
some real work on educating the leather community on Lupus with the backing of a very strong and
supportive board of people. This title seemed to be what I've always envisioned a leather title capable
of being.
10. Has your platform been well received?
Extremely well received. I've gotten phone calls and emails from other people in our community that
have Lupus or know someone that does. I've had people offer to do whatever I need them to in order
to get the word out and raise as much money for the research as possible. When people find out that
Jo has it, it has a real impact on them. I'm grateful that she has been willing to be so open about it on a
national level. I think having someone as known as she is being so open about it is good in that it may
prompt or encourage others to step out about their own experiences with Lupus.
11. Considering the requisites to become MsWL, how does it differ from other titles?
First and foremost is the requirement that the contestant have a "trackable record" of community service.
The "trackable" part of it really sets it apart from other titles. I firmly believe that the judges and board
would not hesitate to check out a woman that was running. I knew there was that possibility when I sent
in my application and feel comfortable with it. Also, the requirement of letters of recommendation makes
the title different. MsWL is a working title and it's put out there from the beginning. Unfortunately, not all
titles require their titleholder to actually do anything. It seems to be "well, if they want to do something,
that's great". But MsWL REQUIRES that the titleholder do something.
12. Considering that you are the 1st MsWL, are there many people out there who have heard
of this title?
It's becoming more and more known. I am on a titleholder's list and there has been a lot of discussion
about the title. So far, the majority of it has been very positive. When I went to Amsterdam even some
of the women there had heard of it. Those that hadn't definitely got the scoop from me!
13. What are some of the questions you are asked when people approach you as the MsWL?
What is Lupus? Why did you choose that as your platform? Did you do this to get back at IMsL?
(Yes, I really have been asked that…) Do you REALLY think another international title is necessary?
What was the press conference like? What was the poster session like? What do I need to do to run
for the title? What is that thing around your shoulders? (the service shawl) Why a service shawl and not
a sash? How does the endowment fund work? How much money have you raised so far? What does
the Lupus Foundation of America think about having the leather community raise money for them?
How is Jo feeling?
14. What is the most memorable experience thus far?
Oh, it would have to be watching Mark Frazier write out the check for the Lupus Foundation during the
awarding of the title. And a close second is the day I called Julie from the Lupus Foundation, told her
that I had won (she knew I was running and why), and told her how much money was being donated to
the Foundation from the basket auction ($7,500).
15. The MsWL contest offered two new formats, open interviews and meet the press. What was
it like going through these formats? Any recommendations for future MsWL contestants?
Oh boy – they were very interesting! Having an entire audience there for the interview was actually kind
of cool. What I knew was that, for once, the people in attendance were going to have a really good idea
of WHY the woman chosen to be MsWL was chosen. As for the meet the press portion, that was
probably the most difficult or nerve wracking for me. I knew my presentation and was confident about
the interview. But the press??? I had never done a press conference before and I had NO idea what
they were going to ask. That part of the competition was the "wild card" portion for me. The questions
came fast and furious and I had very little time to actually think about my answers. Before I finished
answering one, another was asked. They were good questions, though, even the "off topic" ones where
they tried to trip me up! They showed that the press had really been paying attention through the poster
presentations. That impressed me. In retrospect, it was actually kind of fun! As for recommendations
for future MsWL contestants stay focused, stay calm and relaxed, do not take anything the press says
to you personally and most of all KNOW YOUR MATERIAL (the press actually did a lot of research on
our topics). In the interview portion, focus on the judges and their questions. With so many other people
there, it can be easy to get distracted by an audience member's response to one of your answers. Make
sure you understand the question. If you don't, ask for clarification. The judges want you to answer what
they asked, not what you think they asked.
16. What type of legacy would you like to leave as MsWL?
I would like to be remembered as a hard worker for my platform, a woman of integrity and honor,
approachable and forthright. I would like to have people view this title as one of honesty and openness.
I want them to see the potential that is in this kind of title, the potential for all the work and good it can do.
I want Ms. World Leather to be seen as a title that takes seriously the influence and impact an international
title can have and the responsibility that goes along with that.
17. If anyone would like to become more involved about Lupus, how would they be able to do so?
There are local chapters of the Lupus Foundation of America in many cities around the country. They
always need volunteers for a variety of jobs. To find a chapter in your area, you can go to the website –
www.lupus.org. There is a directory of chapter offices in many areas. There are also lots of other websites
about Lupus. If you do a search and just put in the word "lupus" you will find a ton of them.
In Praise of Mr. Mid -Atlantic Leather 2001
By: Bill Coover, Mr. North East Pennsylvania Leather 2001
It doesn't seem possible that a year has already gone by since I had the great honor of competing in
Washington DC as a contestant in the Centaurs' Mid Atlantic Leather contest. It was one of the most incredible
experiences of my life, and this past year has been the most fulfilling and exciting one yet.
The competition was tough and I admire the outstanding leather men with whom I competed. The man who
triumphed, Michael Marino, is a man I will respect, admire and love forever. I truly believe, as do so many
others, that Michael will be known as one of the greatest MALs of all time. He worked tirelessly and flawlessly
throughout his year for the Centaurs, MAL and our leather community. I am proud to call him my friend and to
call him Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2001.
Right after winning the title, Michael told his runners-up that he wanted us all to work together, close by his side.
He said he needed our help and support. Michael didn't really need us. He was perfectly capable of doing it all
on his own. However, Michael literally shared his title with us. This unselfish act gave Mark, John and me so
many great opportunities to get out into the community to promote MAL, our own clubs and our lifestyle. We
would have been out there most likely with our own titles, but it meant so much more to know that Michael Marino
wanted us to be there. We tried to do as much as we could together. Sometimes, when more than one event was
taking place on the same weekend, we split up, so that we could cover all the bases. I was able to attend at leas
23 different events, fundraisers, contests or runs as a participant, worker, judge, den daddy or just observer.
We had so many good times together and grew to know and care about each other. Michael made sure that
he attended Mark's step-down in September and mine in November. There were some difficult times too. Some
of them were on a personal level, such as the loss of a family member or friend, or the end of a relationship.
Others were of a community or national nature, such as the tragic events of September 11th. We were always
there to support each other and many of you were there as well.
I know that I speak for both Mark Teesdale and John Marino when I say, "We love and respect you very much,
Michael Marino. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for everything you gave us and shared with us and for
your constant support and caring. After all, Brotherhood is what this is all about and you are the epitome of
Brotherhood. Our friendship will last throughout time."
Sincerely and Respectfully,
A devastating ice storm that caused a power outage for over 150, 000 Oklahomans was not enough to stop
the Oklahoma Leather community to come out and support the inaugural Oklahoma Leather Sir and boy
contests. It was Held on the weekend of February 1st at Club Levi's.
The festivities began on Friday at 9pm with our best chest, buns, box and hairiest chest contest where over
15 hot men volunteered to strut their stuff. Each of the volunteers received prizes for participating.
There were three excellent contestants, two Sirs and one boy, who vied to become the 1st ever Oklahoma
Leather Sir and boy.
The contestants were:
1. Chad Neal. I am 25 years old and an Aries. Currently am working on my PhD in Counseling Psychology
at Oklahoma State University. Professionally I am interesting in issues for sexual minorities. I have been part
of the Leather community since the summer of 2000 and am part of Daddy R's family (Clan of the Wulf). At this
time I am pledging to become a member of T.U.L.S.A. I am learning how to flog. I enjoy traveling, reading and
going to the movies.
2. Richie Johnson is currently a pledge for T.U.L.S.A. and the Oklahoma Leather Sir is his first leather
contest and it happens to fall a couple of days after his 34th birthday. He has lived in the Tulsa area for 3 years
but originally comes from the south Arkansas region. He is currently working in the communications field as a
Technical Processes Auditor usually traveling about 3 weeks per month nationwide. Richie would like to be
able to represent Oklahoma at the local clubs that he visits while traveling and be a beacon for the newly
honored inaugural year of the Oklahoma Leather Sir contest.
He served in the US Army for 8 years and spent 7 months in Desert Shield/Desert Storm in Saudi Arabia and
was honored with the Southwest Asia Service Medal, the Army Commendation Award and the Distinguished
Service Medal.
Richie has been involved in raising money for the T.U.L.S.A. general charity fund, which helps several local
charities in the Tulsa area, O.G.R.A., and for Team OK, which is the Volleyball team that will be representing
Oklahoma at the Gay Games in Australia and he plans to continue his fundraising activities.
3. TESTORMENT/ aka Dwayne LaMarr Mitchell 5ft. 6in. 155lbs single
Once the contestants were introduced, the basket auction went underway where a total of $240.00 was raised.
All of the fantasies were creative and hot. But I must say that my favorite was chad's. It had to do with a boy
turning the tables on his abusive Daddy. When the dust cleared and the scores where added up, Dwayne was
named Oklahoma LeatherSir, 2002 and Chad Neal was named Oklahoma Leatherboy 2002. They both
advance to compete in the South Central Leather Sir and boy contests (formerly, Gulf Coast Drummer) this
May of 2002 one week before Memorial Day weekend. The producers of the Oklahoma LeatherSir and boy
contests would like to thank the Judges: Ken Claude, Mike Siemer, Lynette Hadlock, John Beebe, Jim Stout,
Jason Pelky, and Ira Smith. The Talley Master was Greg Rose, and the Auditor was Sherry.
In addition we would like to thank, Pony, Chewy, llamb, Mike H., Andrew (the owner of Club Levi's).
This contest was dedicated to the memory of Terry Nutter and everyone who has lost someone this past year.
The proceeds of the contest will go to Loaves and Fishes and the Leather Literary Project.
Leather Jeopardy
T.U.L.S.A. OFFICERS NAMED FOR 2002 and More Interesting News
1. From your experience, how has the role and expectations of boys changed?
Well...back then 1981 when i was a slave at 16 1/2 yrs old my Master (Master Max) called me boy
(as a nickname), at that time boy and slave were the same (in my experience). I was never allowed to look
a Sir/Master in the eyes or to just jump in a conversation unless i had permission. The other boys/slaves
that i knew and myself were given very strict rules (by are Masters), and most of the time we couldn't even
talk or hang around another boy/slave unless we had the Sirs/Masters permission. A boy/slave was an
individual who should be seen and not heard.
In my heart i knew there was a difference between a slave and a boy (in my opinion) a slave doesn't have
certain luxuries a boy does. At the age of 18 yrs old i jumped into boyhood and became a boy. I believed
in speaking my mind (as a slave i couldn't) but not disrespecting my peers in anyway. I guess i was the Norma
Rae of the other boys and slaves in the group. (lol)
It was a long road for many boys then because many of us were still treated as slaves. Today: boys have it
much easier and we are getting respect from our community for many reasons due to support, education,
contest, events, clubs and the list goes on.
2. When did the roles and expectations of boys change and in your opinion, how did
it come about?
I would have to say when Drummer had the first (boy contest) International Drummerboy 1990. (Prior to that,
the 1st International Drummerboy 1989 (Dieter Edwards) was appointed) In my opinion: It was the first time a
boy of leather had a very important role in the leather community. The role of the boy was now looked at a
positive and negative way. For the positive: other boy contest/clubs have started like American Leatherboy,
International Leatherboy and clubs like dc boys of leather ect...... For the Negative: The majority of Masters/Sirs
that i knew didn't understand or liked the idea that there was a contest for boys. I know of some International
Drummerboys before me were treated unfairly/different than other International titleholders.
The international drummerboy title was for gay men only, but American Leather boy is open for gay men and
women. In my Opinion: ABW made a wonderful step forward to let men and women compete for the
leatherboy title.
3. What is your definition of a boy?
I will give you my short version.
In my opinion: A boy: (leatherboy) is an adult (male or female) that chooses to be submissive. (Age or body
size doesn't matter) believes/respects in the art of servitude. Has the right to say No to protect themselves if
in danger or not confident in the situation they are in.
A boy can express (voice) his/her opinions (speak their mind).
4. What are the different types of boys that you have seen in this lifestyle?
I think there are as many different types of boys as there are people.
5. How did you enter the leather lifestyle?
I was about 16 1\2 years old and met a man name Max (Master Max) who was in the military and
introduced me into the world of leather/BDSM.
6. What motivated you to enter your local Drummer contest?
When John Siracusa won the title of International drummerboy 1990 title, I was soooo excited because
there was a contest for boys. It was One Big Step for all boys and that was my motivation to compete
for the drummerboy contest. It took 8 1\2yrs for me too actually get the nerve to compete, but I had
help from this incredible man (Michael Kestner) gave me the confidence I needed. Michael Kestner
was my lover/partner for 7 years and he knew how much I wanted to compete for the drummerboy
title, but I would always change my mind the last minute. Five months before the state contest Michael's
Health was getting worse and he would always bring up the Maryland drummerboy contest and say I
hope your getting prepared and you better not change your mind. Two weeks before the contest, I
backed out because I couldn't compete while my lover's health was getting worse while he was in the
hospital. After the MD drummerboy contest I went to the hospital to see him and Michael thought I
was still competing, and ask me if I won... I (lied) and told him yes. I didn't have the heart to tell him I
didn't compete because he was in the hospital. Michael died one week later and I will never forget his
beautiful smile when he thought I won the contest. Michael was my motivation to compete for the Pa
drummerboy 1999 contest and I felt him with me at every contest. I was truly blessed with one of the
best leatherman in the world.
7. How did the local contest differ from the regional contest and international as
well?
The local contest was Pennsylvania drummerboy 1999 and that was my very first leather contest I
competed in. The State contest had 2 contestants and I was really nervous because Vern Stewart
( WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST) and Jill Carter were judging the contest and I didn't know what
to expect from them during interview. I learned so much from the interview. I am very happy that I
survived Vern and Jill. The Regional contest had 4 contestants and Cain Berlinger and Bruce Chopnick
were two of the five judges who had me shaking in my little boy boots during interview. The international
contest had 6 contestants and for some reason I was very very relaxed and I was just so honored to have
made it to the international level.
8. What was your most memorable experience during the contest?
I have to say, I have 3 memorable experiences.
10. How did you go about educating everyone about the differences between a boy a
a slave?
To Start off: I tried to speak as much as i could during my title year about the differences of boys and slaves.
In my opinion ...I believe that education/educating others in our community is the key, that will open our minds
to strengthen our incredible community. Jill Carter said: Each one Teach one! No-matter how simple the
words are.....the impact would be impressive and our community could benefit from it greatly.
During my Title year as IDB99 i spoke at many contest events,classes,benefits etc...(leather and vanilla), I
tried to teach and express my opinions about being a boy (leatherboy and a drummerboy). I also listen/learn
from others in the community even if they disagreed with me. (we all have our opinions...but the question is,
do we listen to others)? I would also talk about my experiences of being a boy and slave, I expressed how
important the two are and we need to have manners and respect each other in the leather/bdsm community.
11. You were also nominated and won Pantheon's Man of the Year, along with
Dave Rhodes. Could you describe that feeling?
When they announced the category for man of the year, I was in the 3rd to the last row. I didn't think I had a
chance but I was honored to be nominated. They announced that there was a tie and Dave Rhodes was the first
name they called. When they called my name I was shocked and I spilled my two drinks on my Sir's lap and
boots. I was so honored to win Pantheons man of the year award I cried all the way to the stage.
Winning the award was for all the subs..boys/non bio boys/slaves who work so hard and believe in the art of
servitude.
12. 2001 also marked the year of the last International Drummer contest, what are some of your
memories about Drummer Magazine, the contest, and the history.
My memories about Drummer magazine are 3 men Val Martin IMD 79-80, Brian Dawson IMD 89and Herve'
Bernard IMD 98 made all boys excited when they appeared in the magazine. If you put them all together and you
get the Perfect Leather Daddy for me.
Val Martin Macho looks, Brian Dawson perfect eyes and his expertise of flogging a boy. Herve' Bernard with
his incredible sexy body and his wonderful personality.
The Drummer contest will always have a special place in my heart and I will never forget the Drummer creed as
long as I live. Drummer has so much history with the contest, magazine, web site.......(well........ more the contest
and magazine) Many leatherman and women lives have been touched from the Drummer experience.
13.What do you expect to see out of the new Leather Sir and boy contests? Do you think it will replace
Drummer or will it start its own legacy?
A beginning of something Sexual ... hot hot hot, need I say anything more!
I wouldn't say replace Drummer... because Drummer has its own tradition and history thanks to
all the promoters, producers, titleholders/contestants and supporters.
Mr. Tulsa Leather 2003 to be Held in March 2002
Ron Greenwood, owner of the Mr. Tulsa Leather contest, passed ownership of it to Randy Wheeler
(current president of T.U.L.S.A.). In addition, it was announced that the contest would be moved to
March in order to give more preparation time for the titleholder.
Ron along with his partner John produced and owned Mr. Tulsa Leather for the past eleven years.
There where two exceptions when they didn't produce the contest, once in 1999 with Ric Poston
(Oklahoma Mr. Leather 1999) as producer and in 2001 with Randy Wheeler. Ron Greenwood has
been a long-standing pillar in the leather community, being a founding member of TULSA and other
groups that came before it such as the Tool Box Technicians. He stated that he is happily passing
the torch to Randy.
The official press release is below:
Mr. Tulsa Leather 03'
"Forward to the Future"
Mr. Tulsa Leather 03' contest to be held Saturday march 16th at CW`s Dance Hall & Saloon in Tulsa
Okla. At 10:00 p.m.
On Jan. 2nd The Mr. Tulsa Leather producers announced that the contest would be moved to March
2002 to allow the title holder better chance to be involved in their community. To gain in education of
representing Leather brother/sister hood.
The Mr. Tulsa Leather contest and their titleholders have long promoted the respect and diversity of our
Leather lifestyle and understanding Leather folk are some of the most compassionate and dedicated
members in the community! We hope you will join us in celebrating our lifestyle and our efforts choose
the Leather man that we can all be proud of!
For info contact Randy Wheeler
Thank You
Randy Wheeler
http://hometown.aol.com/mrtulsaleather/
Annie Romano-Blas to Host a Benefit for Lupus at Daddies Bar
Hello everyone!
I would like to announce a fundraiser being held at Daddy's Bar in San Francisco on Saturday, 1/26/02.
It will be from 4 - 7 p.m.
Two wonderful women from the Bay Area are putting this fundraiser on for Lupus, which as you
all know is my platform for this title year. They are Laura Carlos, San Francisco Dyke Daddy 2001
and biff Wilson, Bay Area Cub 2001. Both Laura and biff approached me and offered this wonderful
event. They plan to haveentertainment, raffles and loads of fun! I'd like to give both of them a great
big Thank You for stepping up to the bat to help out.
Daddy's Bar is located in the World Famous Castro District of San Francisco. It's a great bar with
lot leather men and women hanging out all over it...!
But the main purpose of the event is to raise funds and some more awareness of Lupus, a condition
that is affecting many men and women in our own leather community.
Come join Laura and me and biff for an afternoon of fun, education, community spirit and more fun!
In leather and pride,
Annie Romano-Blas
It doesn't seem possible that a year has already gone by since I had the great honor of competing
in Washington DC as a contestant in the Centaurs' Mid Atlantic Leather contest. It was one of the
most incredible experiences of my life, and this past year has been the most fulfilling and exciting
one yet. The competition was tough and I admire the outstanding leather men with whom I competed.
The man who triumphed, Michael Marino, is a man I will respect, admire and love forever. I truly
believe, as do so many others, that Michael will be known as one of the greatest MALs of all time.
He worked tirelessly and flawlessly throughout his year for the Centaurs, MAL and our leather
community. I am proud to call him my friend and to call him Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2001.
Right after winning the title, Michael told his runners-up that he wanted us all to work together, close
by his side. He said he needed our help and support. Michael didn't really need us. He was perfectly
capable of doing it all on his own. However, Michael literally shared his title with us. This unselfish act
gave Mark, John and me so many great opportunities to get out into the community to promote MAL,
our own clubs and our lifestyle. We would have been out there most likely with our own titles, but it
meant so much more to know that Michael Marino wanted us to be there. We tried to do as much as
we could together. Sometimes, when more than one event was taking place on the same weekend, we
split up, so that we could cover all the bases. I was able to attend at least 23 different events, fundraisers,
contests or runs as a participant, worker, judge, den daddy or just observer.
We had so many good times together and grew to know and care about each other. Michael made sure
that he attended Mark's step-down in September and mine in November. There were some difficult times
too. Some of them were on a personal level, such as the loss of a family member or friend, or the end of a
relationship. Others were of a community or national nature, such as the tragic events of September 11th.
We were always there to support each other and many of you were there as well.
I know that I speak for both Mark Teesdale and John Marino when I say, "We love and respect you very
much, Michael Marino. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for everything you gave us and shared with
us and for your constant support and caring. After all, Brotherhood is what this is all about and you are the
epitome of Brotherhood. Our friendship will last throughout time."
Sincerely and Respectfully,
Bill Coover
Back to LeatherWeb News
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Mayhem in the Midwest
Ohio Leather Fest V is approaching fast! August 23 - 25, 2002
Online registration is available at www.ohioleatherfest.com
from Tulsa Dungeon Society
Second - Rope (Hemp, Nylon, Jute or Sisal)
Third - Clips/ Clamps
Fourth - Oblong Fruits / Vegetables
Fifth - Lubricants (water or silicone base)
Sixth - Paddles/Canes
Seventh - Restraints (arm and legs)
8th - Knives and Needles
9th - Vibrators\ Dildos
10th - Chastity Devices
11th - Doe/ Pig Skins
12th - Buffalo/ Suede Hides
13th - Latigo
14th - PVC/Latex/ Neoprene
15th - Corsets/Waist Cinchers
20th - Cages
25th - Electrical Toys (Violet Wands, Hot Boxes, TENS Unit)
30th - Examination Tables/Medical Supplies
35th - Erotic Art
40th - Automated Corporal Punishment Implements
50th - Gold (some things should not be tampered with
60th - A Young and Healthy Slave
75th - Two Young and Healthy Slaves
By Ebony Trinket
Mikey,
Mr. Sooner State Leather 02
Interview done on April, 2001
Dave Rhodes
Introducing Mr. Olympus 2002
Butch Arnold
Daddy Ron
Preface: After the introduction of the contestants on Friday, poster
presentation, meet the press and the basket auction which all took place
on Saturday, I grew to respect what these women were undergoing. Meet the
press was grueling to say the least and the women held up pretty well. As
a member of the press, my job as well as the other members of the press,
was to ask the tough questions and see how they reacted. It was good to see
that no one caved and handled the pressure well. I am not sure how many of
us would be able to go through something like that. At times the entire room
was on "pins and needles" while other times the audience's cheers brought much
levity to the room. Considering that this was the first time that this had
been done, the initial questions were tentative, each member of the press took
turns asking questions, but as the event progressed the questions were asked in
rapid fire. The following day, I tracked Viola down and asked her some
questions about, Ms. World, Welcome Home and about life in general. Here is
the result of that interview.
David:, When I talked to Jill about Ms World, I asked her where
did the concept of MsWorld begin?
is International Mr. Leather 2002!
Monday Afternoon September 3, 2001
4332 Browne Street
Omaha, NE
68111-1829
USA
Vox: 402.451.7987
Fax: 402.457.5350
Email: BareImages@aol.com
“Rumble in the Jungle”
Filler:
Latest Airfare examples from online services:
City Cost RT
Atlanta $220
Boston $275
Chicago $158
Dallas $180
Las Vegas $221
Los Angeles $221
Miami $342
New Orleans $301
New York $327
Philadelphia $275
Portland OR $258
San Diego $280
San Francisco $276
Seattle $276
St Louis $107
Toronto $321
2001 ARCHIVES
2002 ARCHIVES
Mr. And Ms. Sooner State Leather 2002
Who is this person?
That they would kneel before me
eyes lowered,
undressed
and give themselves so completely to me.
Who are you?
The one before me
giving yourself to my lash
tears flowing
giving yourself so completely to me
Who are you?
I ask
and you smile reveling
and in the pain you bask
and you give yourself so completely to me.
You whisper softly to me
and say,
"may I have more Sir?"
And I oblige
Who is this person?
That you would transcend your need
of pain,
pleasure
and you give yourself so completely to me.
Who are you?
That you would allow me
to permeate,
repulse and compel
and yet you want to give even more to me
Who are you?
I ask,
that this pain
removes this mask
in order to give yourself completely to me.
by Malik
and Mr. Olympus Leather 2002
Introducing Mr. Olympus 2002
Butch Arnold
Daddy Ron
Preface: After the introduction of the contestants on Friday, poster
presentation, meet the press and the basket auction which all took place
on Saturday, I grew to respect what these women were undergoing. Meet the
press was grueling to say the least and the women held up pretty well. As
a member of the press, my job as well as the other members of the press,
was to ask the tough questions and see how they reacted. It was good to see
that no one caved and handled the pressure well. I am not sure how many of
us would be able to go through something like that. At times the entire room
was on “pins and needles” while other times the audience’s cheers brought much
levity to the room. Considering that this was the first time that this had
been done, the initial questions were tentative, each member of the press took
turns asking questions, but as the event progressed the questions were asked in
rapid fire. The following day, I tracked Viola down and asked her some
questions about, Ms. World, Welcome Home and about life in general. Here is
the result of that interview.
David:, When I talked to Jill about Ms World, I asked her where
did the concept of MsWorld begin?
I would first like to thank everyone whom has helped me get as far as I have today
!!!!!! I strongly believe in pansexual play and will promote this during my year a
s the new Mr. Olympus Leather 2002. Pansexual play does not have to include sex. If we can educate the heterosexual and the homosexual leather community that pansexual means leather play and not leather sex I think we may be able to bridge the gap and stereotypes between our leather brothers and sisters. I have no problem playing with a female, because if you are in the right frame of mind or the right headspace there should not be any sexual thoughts involved. But if it leads into sex, that's all right also. I am a gay male that enjoys the pain and the pleasure I get from either male or female I have learned to separate leather sex from leather play. If you were blindfolded and had a female and a male perform leather play on you most of you would never know the difference especially if you are in the right headspace or frame of mind. By the end of my year I hope you will understand what Pantheon of Leather stands for and why I support the Mr. & Ms. Olympus Leather Contests.
Introducing Mr. Olympus 2002
Butch Arnold
Butch Arnold, Mr. OLYMPUS LEATHER 2002
FlaDrummerboy99@aol.com or MrOlympusLthr02@aol.com
Boy Danny, Mr. Leather Cowboy 2002 and his pup greeted me at O'Hare airport at 8 p.m. The interesting thing about this meeting is that we had never met. I needed a place to stay and woodie barnes asked danny if I could stay with him. After spending an extra 15 minutes circling the airport we finally landed. I was a bit nervous as this was the first time I had flown since September 11, 2001.
Mr. Leather Cowboy 2002
Danny Glosser, left and 1st
Runner-up Greg
Young, right
Chicago Leather Weekend
Saturday 10:30am Interview with Jill Carter
INTERVIEW:
T.B.
1. Describe the social and political climate of your local community. How did your local
community influence your views as a leather woman?
The San Diego community is very diverse with a large heterosexual population and a good-sized
gay and lesbian population. The gay and lesbian population seems to be the most active as far
as holding public events and showing up at the contests, etc. However, the heterosexual groups
are very active in their own socials and especially in LeatherFest. For the most part, we have a
very nice mix at our public events. As for the political climate, that is getting better with some
good work being done by people in working with the law enforcement officials. San Diego is a
very conservative and Republican city. It is difficult at times to obtain venues for events because
of this. There have been some serious problems with Vice in the past, but these seem to be
working themselves out lately. I'm not sure how the local community has influenced my views as
a leather woman. Perhaps some of the problems that have occurred have made me a bit more
jaded and wary than I might have been otherwise. One of the things that has been positive,
though, is that I have learned to work well with all kinds of groups – men, women, gay, straight,
transgendered, etc.
Bill Coover
Oklahoma Leather Sir and boy 2002
OLS Dywane Mitchell (right) & OLb Chad Neal (front)
By: David
Hobbies / interest photography, Leather maker, painting Psychology, Spirituality. Born in Guthrie Oklahoma
on September 18th 1951 (Virgo). number 5 of 6 children, from a strong Christian family. Moved to Wichita
Kansas in 1953 where I was raised. Graduated from high school in 1969, and immediately started college.
Open the doors to the sexual (gay) closet in 1971, when I went to my 1st gay bar. I was also exposed to the
leather lifestyle, intrigued, but intimidated by it. I moved to Manhattan Ks. to complete my education. Graduated
Kansas State University, (B.F.A.) Sculpture/ Metalcraft & Jewelry in the spring of 1975. Then back to Wichita for
a year to work and save some money, then on to Minneapolis Minnesota, to peruse a career in art, and COME
OUT to myself. It was here the seeds of a leatherman, were firmly planted. I found myself back in Wichita by
1977, and working for the School System. In February 1979 I moved to Oklahoma City, and went to the work
for the Sate, where I have been employed for 23 yrs as an Engineer. It took 10 more yrs for me to let the
flowers (leather) of the seeds that were back in 1975 Bloom! I embraced this as a LIFESTYLE in January 1989
. It started with the purchased of my 1st studded belt, and armbands, from my 1st mentor. A local leather maker/
Daddy, Joe Angle. He has encouraged, and instructed me with the establishment of my leather business.
Bulldawg to Take Over After Hours Radio Program "Leather Line"
By: Sir Ron
By: David
Interview With woodie barnes, International Drummerboy 1999
A boy has a cute playful/mischievous personality/quality about them.
A boy is willing to SERVE and LEARN.
I know I was really young, probably too young to even think about that kind of thing.
I was really scared at first because I was dealing with myself being gay, and that was confusing by
itself. I had the hunger, passion and the desire to learn what master Max wanted to teach me about
leather/bdsm play. (plus he was one of the hottest men I have ever seen).
First: meeting/getting to know all the Drummer/drummerboy contestants. Second: seeing Fraser Picard
in his Birthday Suit! WOW!!!!!!!! :)
And Third: winning The International Drummerboy 1999 title and the Golden boot brush award.
The entire weekend was a wonderful experience that I will never ever forget.my platform was very simple
to come up with. My platform was to educate all communities (gay and straight) that there was a difference
between a boy (boy of leather) and a slave. also my platform was to promote the drummer contest and the
mag (web site)
I believe in him (Mike Zuhl) and the board of directors.
It will start its own legacy with Master Mike in control and his board.
I have to say that Mike Zuhl has true love in his heart for all leather/bdsm contest.
I am very impressed in the way he handles himself when people of greed try to control him.
By: David
Press Release
At 918-521-9653 or
Email MrTulsaLeather@aol.com
You can also visit the website at:
Worth the trip just for that, if you ask me!
See you there!!!
Ms. World Leather 2001
CONTEST SEASON
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